TOS Caption Contest #142: It's a Spock, Spock, Spock, Spock World

[B.J.]

Scotty: He's back there, isn't he? I can feel him staring at the back of my head!

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Spock: "Mmmph! Ice cream headache!"

Or, as it is known in America: "BRAIN FREEZE!!!!!!!"

 

[Kirby]

WHOOT! Thanks for the win Shatmandu!

Spock: All the blinking lights, and beeping, and pinging, and beeping and pinging, and blinking, and bad accents... Holy shit I need an Advil!

Kirk: Well one of us has to die.
Spock: Indeed
McCoy: And he is wearing a red shirt
Scotty: Aye. Wait...what?!?!?

Spock: This old movie Galaxy Quest, I have never seen it before, yet it seems very familiar...

 

[Rat Boy]

Apparently Shatmandu's son didn't limit his rage to Chuck E. Cheese.

McCoy: "Look on the bright side; with no walls we don't have to worry about holding back our farts."

Scotty: "Speak for yourself."

Spock: "I love you, but I hate you."

Kirks: "But we're identical!"

Spock: "Precisely."

McCoy: "You all right, Spock?"

Spock: "This Kanye West is very illogical."

 

[tharpdevenport]

After Kirk crowned himself Matt Dillion, Scotty Doc, and McCoy Festus, that only left one person -- Spock, who folded his arms displeasingly after learning he would be Miss Kitty. And that was totally illogical.

 

[Shatmandu]

Darth Vader, offscreen: "You're doing it wrong."

McCoy: "Twelve hours of Wheel of Fortune?"
Spock: "I hate myself and want to die."
McCoy, leaving: "Carry on."

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "I don't appreciate the fact that you came in here just to fart."

Whenever Chekov got the girl, it left everyone else dumbstruck.

 

[scottydog]

Spock: "Discerning the true Captain shall be easy."

Kirk One: "That's right. Beam down a cat and have me start singing Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds. When the cat dies, you'll know it's me."

Kirk Two: "Hmm. I haven't had sex with a cat in a long time."

<Spock fires at Kirk One>

 

[scottydog]

Spock: "Discerning the true Captain shall be easy."

Kirk One: "Spock, remember when I left ejaculate on your pillow?"

Kirk Two: "Remember when I smeared feces on your chess set?"

Kirk One: "Remember when I didn't say 'God bless you' after you sneezed?"

<Spock fires at Kirk One>

Spock: "The Captain always says God bless you."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Spock: "If you must know, doctor, I am studying a 21st century phenomenon called 'YouTube,' which is comprised in large measure of a multitude of video images featuring young women demonstrating...flatulence. Fascinating!"

Kelley: "Geez, what the hell has happened to my career? The last time I strapped on a holster rig like this, I was working with Burt Lancaster and Kirk Douglas. Uh...no offense, fellas."

 

[Mysterion]

SPOCK (thinking): Damnit! That inept, inbread, julep-swilling, hick, so-called doctor re-installed my brain BACKWARDS!

 

[Maurice]

BONES: Spock -- turn that thing off and get some rest!
SPOCK: I know there is some logic in it, Doctor...
ON MONITOR: Mary Hartman! Mary Hartman!

(Swiped from a vintage Gordon Carleton cartoon)

Not my entry, but I thought about the same cartoon printed in the paperback "StarToons" (which also introduced me to the fantastic Phil Foglio).

Sincerely,

Bill

That's the one! Glad I'm not the only one who remembered it!

Ahh, vintage 70s fan humor.

SPOCK: My mind to my mind. My thoughts to my thoughts.
KIRK (O.C.): What's he doing?
BONES (O.C.): He's trying to remember where he parked the shuttlecraft.

BONES: Stop making excuses, Scotty. Your new pub is a dump.

SPOCK: Which one of you is the "imposter" who attacked Rand?
KIRKS: Me!

BONES: What is that confounded thing you're watching, Spock?
SPOCK: The O.B.I.T., Doctor. I can't not look...

 

[Tribble]

How to tell if a Vulcan is schizophrenic:

#3: He plays footsies under the table with himself

#2: He installs a webcam in his own shower

#1: He tries to mindmeld with himself to find out what he is thinking

 

[Isis]

Spock: "Damn trekbbs--someone already took Spock as a user name."

 

[Isis]

"That Botox was a big mistake."

Spock: "Hmm...Outer Limits, I Robot, might be interesting. But Leonard Nimoy????"

 

[Shatmandu]

Spock: "Dude, I gotta quit nerve-pinching my nuts ..."

Spock: "You come here often?"

McCoy: "You're watching Law & Order, an A-List celebrity is guest starring, and you can't figure out who did it?"

Spock: "Man, this shit don't work."

 

[DrBob]

Digging for chunks o' Vulcan ear wax.

Bones: "Ok, so I farted in your glass while you were away, Jim teabagged it a little, and well, you dont really want to know what Spock got up to..."

Spocks guitar theme tune smoothly changes into the 007 music.

 

[T'Girl]

Spock: "... I'm thinking of a number."
Uhura: "Is it negative zero, again?"

McCoy: "So there I am, tied naked to the bed. My body smeared with thirty weight motor oil.
........... Yeoman Rand walks in, carrying a saddle and a pair of jumper cables ...

Scott: "Aye, heard this one too."

Spock: "It obvious that one of you is the Captain and one of you is a less than convincing stunt double."

McCoy: "T'Pring upload more internet porn of herself again?"
Spock: **sigh** "Again."
McCoy: "I'll get a chair."

Spock: "My god - the both of you - eat a salad once in a while."
Director: "Nimoy, that wasn't the line."

 

[Shatmandu]

Scotty: "Next time you go into the bathroom and wank as you shit, you might want to remember there aren't any fookin' walls."

Spock: "I wanna finish Spongebob."
McCoy: "Fine. I hope you like cold dinner."

Spock: "Last thing I remember is Mr. Sulu showing me his etchings. Then I woke up with diarrhea."

 

[Rat Boy]

Afterwards, Spock beat McCoy to death.