Not the best sign she likes me, huh?

[Ethros]

Yes, another boring non-relationship problem thread on the TrekBBS

I'll just cut to the chase.
There's a girl at work I have a big crush on, basically she's sort of girl I've been looking for for a long time.
We talk a bit now and again when we get chance (which is hard to do at work) and talk maybe twice a week on Facebook for 1 or 2 hours at a time.

Anyway the other day I'm on my morning break and go to the canteen and see her sat alone. Now there's hardly anyone else even in there, almost all the other tables are either empty or of people I don't know. So I figure it would be rude to not sit next to her?
I get my food, and go sit down on her table, noticing as I sit she has her iPod headphones on. I smile and say hi, and she just waves at me, keeps her headphones on, and just proceeds to flick through some random magazine she's reading.

...... not the best sign in the world I thought. It was a bit fucking rude I thought to be honest. I was just sat there thinking "er okay, fuck you too then I guess"

I couldn't really say anything to her (as in strike up a conversation) if she has her headphones on. The next couple of minutes were kinda awkward, but luckily I was saved when a friend of mine in and sat with me.


Not sure what the point of this is, I just felt like venting. Just a shame as we were talking fine the day before, and talked for about 2 hours on Facebook a couple of days before that. Don't know why I warranted that blanking.
Guess she's not meant to be "the one" after all


Anyone else had similar issues?

 

[Cakes488]

Honestly, if you she likes you or not is besides the point...yeah that was just plain rude. I would of started talking to her just to force her to pause her precious song.

I don't know where the hell peoples manners are nowadays. Common courtesy is seriously lacking.

 

[Kelthaz]

I don't see any problem here. She was already doing something before you decided to sit down with her. Why should she be expected to stop what she's doing to have a conversation with you?

It sounds to me like she just wasn't in a talkative mood and wanted to listen to some music. I wouldn't read too much into this one situation.

 

[ShimmeringFacet]

honestly, it doesn't sound good. If a guy I was interested in came and sat next to me, I certainly wouldn't just blow him off. I can't really imagine wanting to continue with the magazine at that point.

 

[Ethros]

Yeah, two interesting & different opinions above. I kinda agree with both, in that I do think it was a bit rude; it wasn't like I was some total stranger who sat down next to her. But then as you say if she wasn't in the mood...

I guess it's just if the shoe was on the other foot, and a girl sat next to me when I had headphones and smiled and said hi to me, I'd definitely take them off.
Wasn't the best sign that she likes me as much as I like her

 

[JustKate]

I don't think it was rude - if she'd ignored you entirely, that would have been rude. But to acknowlege you and keep doing what she was doing before you got there, I don't consider that rude.

I wouldn't call it perfect manners, but it really doesn't sound unacceptable to me. I mean, she was sitting at a table by herself, right? Maybe there was a good reason for that.

Mind you, I don't consider it promising, either, from a prospective-romance perspective. I wouldn't call it hopeless, but you definitely shouldn't feel encouraged. A guy you're interested in should be more interesting than a magazine.

 

[An Officer]

I think I'd be pretty upset too of someone I liked did that to me. Sorry that happened to you Ethros. How old is she? Maybe she's young and doesn't know any better?

 

[Ethros]

^ She's only 19, so I guess

I kinda figured before she wasn't overly into me that way. I don't know... oh well what can you do? It's just annoying because as I say I've never met anyone like her before who ticks all my boxes of what I look for.
Except the manners catergory I suppose
And she's literally the cutest thing I've ever seen

 

[Kelthaz]

honestly, it doesn't sound good. If a guy I was interested in came and sat next to me, I certainly wouldn't just blow him off. I can't really imagine wanting to continue with the magazine at that point.

Yeah, that's a good point.

If a friend sat down next to me while I was reading a book during lunch I wouldn't feel obligated to talk to him/her if I didn't feel like it, but if it was a girl I was attracted too that is a whole different story. It sounds to me (and I'm basing this off very little information) that she has you firmly placed in the friend's camp.

 

[CaptainStoner]

^ She's only 19, so I guess

I kinda figured before she wasn't overly into me that way. I don't know... oh well what can you do? It's just annoying because as I say I've never met anyone like her before who ticks all my boxes of what I look for.
Except the manners catergory I suppose
And she's literally the cutest thing I've ever seen

Ease up on the analysis there, Doctor.
Enjoy the moment of sitting across from the cutest thing you've ever seen, listening to her tunes before work. Without mooning too much if you can help it.
Too much FB, not enough coffee dates and whatnot. FB is for people who don't live nearby, yo.
Do the dance, man. Drop her a note, send her some tunes. Do something. Take the adventure. Do something together.
True, most of us go down in flames, but it beats pining.

 

[JustKate]

That's really good advice, Captain.

Heck, Ethros, maybe she's just not that comfortable with you face to face? Now that CaptainStoner has cut through the non-essentials, I have to say that he's right - it's a little odd that your main interaction with a person you work with is over Facebook. You really won't know anything until you take a chance, and Facebook isn't the way to do it.

 

[RandyS]

I don't know where the hell peoples manners are nowadays. Common courtesy is seriously lacking.

I know what you mean, I've got a friend who will call me and beg me to have lunch with him, then spend the entire lunch Text messaging or taking calls from his other friends.

And don't even get me started on how he uses that damn phone of his while driving......

Enough raising my blood pressure, back to the main point of the thread: raising Ethros'.

 

[Ethros]

Well it's just we work on totally different departments, and thus never really see each other during the day. And everyone has lunch/breaks at various different times on different days. And she only works part-time.
So it's not like I'm sat next to her 40 hours a week for example.

But I do try my best to go over and have a quick chat when I can. She has said in the past she can be quite shy around people, so there's that to the equation.
I'll not overly get my hopes up though, we'll see.


I'll just go carve her name into my arm

 

[JustKate]

^ It's just really odd that you can "talk" on Facebook but not face to face. Really odd. Maybe you're young enough that it doesn't seem odd to you, but it's really odd sounding to me. Then again, I'm ancient. But sooner or later, even the Facebook/texting generation has to talk face to face. I'm pretty sure about that.

Be sure and sterilize that knife, though, OK? You don't want to suffer from an infection in addition to suffering from unrequited love.

 

[Cakes488]

I don't think it was rude - if she'd ignored you entirely, that would have been rude. But to acknowlege you and keep doing what she was doing before you got there, I don't consider that rude.

I wouldn't call it perfect manners, but it really doesn't sound unacceptable to me. I mean, she was sitting at a table by herself, right? Maybe there was a good reason for that.

Mind you, I don't consider it promising, either, from a prospective-romance perspective. I wouldn't call it hopeless, but you definitely shouldn't feel encouraged. A guy you're interested in should be more interesting than a magazine.

I would be compelled and obligated to talk to the person. They are purposly coming over to sit next to me so I think I'll ignore them...not gonna be able to do. I would never ever do that....it just feels rude to me.

Well it's just we work on totally different departments, and thus never really see each other during the day. And everyone has lunch/breaks at various different times on different days. And she only works part-time.
So it's not like I'm sat next to her 40 hours a week for example.

But I do try my best to go over and have a quick chat when I can. She has said in the past she can be quite shy around people, so there's that to the equation.
I'll not overly get my hopes up though, we'll see.


I'll just go carve her name into my arm

Oh! She's only 19! That could explain a lot....plus she's shy on top of that...do what Cappy Stoner said...go for it. The worst that happens is nothing which is pretty much what's going on now anyway. I've pursued men and I' ve certainly looked the fool...but I had to know and didn't want to wonder "what if". So go for it...you barely see her at work anyway. LOL

 

[JustKate]

^ I would also feel obligated to talk to the person, to be honest. But then again, I'm not shy. I just don't think it's automatically rude to not drop whatever it is that you're already doing just because somebody happens to sit with you. "Not automatically rude" doesn't mean the same thing as "has wonderful manners," though.

 

[Cakes488]

True Kate...I'm not shy either so I can't relate with that. I will try to think of it as not automatically being rude, but it is hard. LOL granted I'm disgusting and foul ...but with crap like this I have immpecable (sp) manners.

 

[RJDiogenes]

Maybe she didn't think she was being rude; maybe that's how kids do things at school or whatever. It's still not encouraging, though, since if she was interested she definitely would have torn herself away from the magazine. That's not to say you should give up, of course....

 

[Finn]

I think you are reading too much into it. She may not realize that you have a crush on it. I've had people sit down with me at my old jobs saying hi then keep to themselves. Or perhaps she has something on her mind like issues at home or with her family or friends so she'd just rather listen to music and drown herself in a magazine. Was she having a long day at work? ah well.

 

[Kestra]

...... not the best sign in the world I thought. It was a bit fucking rude I thought to be honest. I was just sat there thinking "er okay, fuck you too then I guess"

She might've just really wanted to be alone and been wary of starting a conversation that she couldn't really stop. Not the politest thing, but not really worthy of a "fuck you" either, in my opinion.

Then again I think there are two categories here. Her interaction with you as just another person, and her interaction with you as the object of your affection.