TOS Caption Contest #140: Scotty-Centric

[cooleddie74]

Apollo's greatest accomplishment?

Tricking Scotty into Krazy Gluing his face to a styrofoam rock.

 

[Gertch]

It was during the "camera test" that Shatner was nixed for a stint on Land of the Giants.

As Scotty counted Kirk realized playing Hide-n-Seek wasn't much fun on the smallest planet in the quadrant.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Scotty: Had I know what a pompus twit yeh wer, I'd have stayed on Delta Vega.

 

[Isis]

"Carolyn, lass, have ye gone daft? Do ye have haggis for brains? Ye don't wear yeer party clothes on undeveloped planets!"

 

[Rat Boy]

Palamas: "But he said it was a medical exam."

Scotty: "Lass, he was only playing doctor."

Palamas: "Well, that would explain the scented candles...and the wine...and the Barry White music...and the..."

Scotty: "Enough already, we get the bloody point!"

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

The landing party soon realized that hiding behind the Horta's hemorrhoids wasn't such a good idea.

 

[cooleddie74]

Hubble Telescope Kirk is watching Pluto masturbate.

The Son of Monty murders began innocently enough...with a drunken Scotty thinking the rocks were talking to him.

 

[cooleddie74]

CAROLYN:"That was either the ROUGHEST gyno exam I've ever had...or that shrub back there just knocked me up."

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "Captain Archer, I know time-travel can me tough, but you don't have to put me out an airlock. You were my childhood hero ..."

Scotty: "You don't tell them I didn't mind, and I won't tell them about the Boston Batwanger you've got floatin' in yer skivvies, lad."

 

[Shaw]

Carolyn: Scotty, there are just some tasks that shouldn't be done in half the time.

 

[Nerys Myk]

After their capture by the inhabitants of K'Levage IV, Scott and Kirk refused to be rescued.

 

[Hambone]

KIRK (singing):

Heaven, I'm in heaven
And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak
And I seem to find the happiness I seek
When we're out together dancing cheek to cheek

SCOTTY: Will ye shut up and help me move this rock? I's crushin' me finger, I think...

 

[NathanielM]

Kirk: HEY LET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE! I was kidding about doing this at the Academy. This is SO bad for my cheap hairpiece!

Bones: Damn it Jim, I'm a doctor not a Laundry man!​

 

[S'kai]

Although Pogs had gone out of fashion, the Kirk Slammer still brought 5 figures at auction.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Scott: "What de ye mean no anal!? I bloody well paid for anal! Ye and me are going to go have a word with Carl here."

 

[Isis]

Kirk: "Uh-oh, I think Chekhov mixed up our toupees again."

Scotty: "Aye, Cap'n, I realize Trelane has become fascinated with hide-and-seek, but I really need to take a leak."

Scotty (to himself): What does this chick use for toothpaste--garlic?

Kirk: "Damn plumber...who does he think I am, the Little Dutch Boy?"

 

[Rat Boy]

Presenting William Shatner's cover of Michael Jackson's "Man in the Mirror."

 

[Captain Crow]

Thanks for choosing me as one of the winners on the last caption contest Shatmandu.

Scotty: This bitch is mine Captain! You can have any of the other ones, but this one is mine!

Camera operator: Can someone get me some paper towels so I can get this Shat off my lense?

Scotty: Captain I...

[ Kirk lets out a very long and loud fart]

Kirk: Sorry Mr. Scott. What was it you were going to say?

[Scotty frozen in place falls down stiff as a board]

Scotty: I can'a believe I ate the whole thing.

Scotty: Bourbon and beans really are an explosive combination

Scotty: Mental note: never let Sulu sneak up behind you in a cave full of cock rocks.

 

[cooleddie74]

It costs you $1.50 in quarters...but the hamfisted memories and toupee residue in the filter?

Priceless.

 

[cooleddie74]

SCOTTY:"The WOMEN!!!!!"

KIRK:"Wrong episode, stupid."

On Soviet Pollux IV, rocks listen to YOU!

CAROLYN:"WORST afterprom party ever, Scotty.

And if I'm pregnant...SO HELP YOU..."

Porthole Kirk is watching you space-masturbate.