Movie Caption Contest #106: Tender Loving Care

[cooleddie74]

PICARD:"I want to introduce you to someone, Anij.

His name is B.F. Skinner.

He'll put you inside a box, but don't be afraid."

SEX TREK VI:

THE UNDISCOVERED OPENING

 

[Alrik]

Ilia: "Do it just like this. Now it's your turn. Go ahead and pet my pussy."

 

[cooleddie74]

DECKER:"My dad was killed by a giant spacefaring Bugle snack.

Does that earn me any sympathy pussy?"

 

[Shatmandu]

Decker: "The woman I dated after you wanted to have conventional hetero sex seven times a week."
Ilia: "BOOOORRRRING!"

 

[LeadHead]

Decker: Does V'Ger object to the presence of the two carbon units?

Ilia: You bet he does! He was going to vacuum the floors, hook up a new High-Def TV, before guests would arrive.

 

[Shatmandu]

Decker, killing the Earth: "Hey, V'Ger, baby: you wanna see my Carbon Unit grow? Bend over, bitch."

 

[cooleddie74]

ILIA-PROBE:"You need....nap...kin."

 

[Candlelight]

After months of a drought of women, Decker was suddenly surrounded by pussy.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Ilia: Two pussies for the price of one.

 

[Candlelight]

"What's worrying you Decker?"
"Just imagining you with no hair. Man you would look weird. I mean Ensign Shatmandu would have a field day. Can you imagine how many penis jokes he would come up with?"

 

[Deranged Nasat]

"Oh, hi there Troi. Er, sorry to pop up like this, I know you probably want to get back to Will, but I've got this really cool thalaron weapon I've made, it's green and toxic and radioactive, sort of like the Viceroy's, er, output , and I was wondering if you'd like to come over and see it. Well? What do you think?............You're still thinking about the Viceroy aren't you?

 

[Deranged Nasat]

"No, you don't understand. I need to see Prime Minister Mollari. I'm in the wrong damn universe! I'm not from around here!"

"Oh, that's sweet. It doesn't matter, dear. We don't think any less of you...we can't all have the, er, attributes..."

"What are you talking about?!"

"The hair, dear. It correlates, you know. I bet you'd only manage two, three at most..."

"Wait just one minute, I-- hang on, three?"

 

[Candlelight]

"Is this a deleted scene from Superman Returns?"
"WRONG!"

 

[Shatmandu]

Decker, sniffing, glancing at her hand: "Still don't use toilet paper on your planet, huh?"

 

[LeadHead]

Anij: Are you sure you shouldn't just end the Next Gen movies here?

Picard: Oh come on, we've got to go out on a high note. The next one will be an even numbered film, it's sure to be a very popular one!

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Decker: Changed your polish, huh? Looks good.
Ilia: Oh, I thought you'd never notice.

 

[LeadHead]

Okay America, who do you want for Deanna Troi to be seeing?

Contestant 1: William Riker

Contestant 2: Creepy Reman Dude

And Contestant 3: The Burger King King

Vote Now!

 

[Shatmandu]

Riker realizes his gut hangs so low, he just had sex with his own belly button.

Ilia: "Decker-Unit, show me your Pecker-Unit."

Troi: "No, it doesn't feel like a Whopper. Maybe one of those Chicken Fries."

 

[Daneel]

TROI: "Wait a minute... this is telepathic sex. Why are you wearing a condom?"

SHINZON: "Hey, I don't know where your mind's been, lady!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

Troi had hooked up with many strange men during TNG, but she knew she had hit bottom when she was in bed with Doctor Evil.

TROI: If you're here then who's.....

DR EVIL: That's Mr Bigglesworth, he has quite a talented tongue.

TROI (comes)