TNG Caption This #159 - 'Res-Q-Phone'

[Cuhl]

"Give me some of that hair, you puffy-sleeved poltroon!"

 

[Mojochi]

Ooo! I won. Thanks!

Picard: HOW DARE YOU WEAR PLEATS! I'M THE ONLY ONE ON BOARD THIS SHIP ALLOWED TO WEAR PLEATS!

Just two more microns to the left, and you've got it, & to think, all this time I thought Tasha was full of shit

 

[Alrik]

Picard: "Is this it? Am I doing it right? Work with me here Riva. At least give me a sign."

Crusher: "Very good Data, you've almost got it. Now just purse the lips a little more and say it with attitude."

Data: "MoFo!"

Crusher: "Perfect."

 

[Alrik]

The longer Picard ranted, the more he began to feel that his words were falling on deaf ears.

Crusher: "Well Data, it seems the effects of the Briar Patch are pretty much neutralized."

Data: "And have you noticed how your boobs have begun to sag?"

Crusher: "Asshole."

 

[Triskelion]

Wassamatta, you no likea my canoli?
Thank you Doctor. Now tell me how to greet a dirty Frenchman.

Riva: I don't care if it's a traditional French greeting! I won't spit in your mouth!

<Lord, I apologize>

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Voiceover Man: "You know, when you've been Tangoed!"

Picard: "When you purse your lips like that, you remind me of Beverly, when she's gone a month without trimming around her nethers."

 

[Shatmandu]

Crusher: "My son and I weren't doing what you think you saw, Toaster. You get me?"

Picard: "You were told not to listen to the band Rush, we you not?"

 

[Alrik]

Crusher: "My eyes are up here, Data, up here."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Picard: "Season 2! Season 4! Season 7! Give me a hint, damn it!"

Riva signs frantically: "I'm not Beverly, you bald pated buffoon!"

 

[Yeoman Randi]

"Why isn't there PEZ flying out of your mouth??"

 

[cooleddie74]

PICARD:"Do you understand the WORDS...that are comin' outta my MOUTH?!?!?!?


Oh. Yeah.

Right.


Sorry, man."

 

[cooleddie74]

BEVERLY:"Lemme tell you a family secret.

Jack's pecker?


Like this.

Don't ever say anything to Wes or Jean-Luc, though...'kay?"

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Crusher: Hmm... smells like teen spirit.
Data: Wesley's crotch?

Picard: WOMEN! I LIKE WOMEN!
Riker (off-camera): That's not what you said last night, Johnny.

 

[cooleddie74]

BEVERLY:"For the record?

THIS much paprika. Any more...and it'll taste like shit."

Neither man could believe they had just been named co-winners in the Federation Powerball Drawing.

 

[Shatmandu]

Picard: "YOUR SPOKESGIRL! I WANT TO FUCK HER! <points to self> I. WANT. TO. <bucks hips> FUCK HER!"
<Riva shrugs; doesn't understand.>
Picard: "Oh, the hell with it. Bring her in here; I'll tell her myself."

 

[cooleddie74]

When Scanning failed...

the two enemies resorted to shrieking to kill one another.

 

[Triskelion]

Crusher: Data, for future reference, when I call you down to sickbay to do an autopsy on the stiff - please wear pants.
Data: You keep giving me these mixed signals, Doctor.

Picard: Look upon the half-chewed fluffernutter, heathen!
Riva: I just don't get secular humanism.
Riker playing muted trombone: Wah - waaahhhhhflrrpphrrbbb~!
Troi: Nightbird!
Guinan <thinking>: Two sips of a Zima and she's a Lynrd Skynrd fan. Bitch needs to get out more.
Wesley <texting Robin Leffler>: I LURRVE YOU!!! bff sux shweaty sehlat blls!
Riva's choir <to each other>:Oh, he's homoerotically aroused again.I'm not translating that.

 

[TigerOfDarkness]

Picard: Why did you put super glue on your ears, idiot?

 

[cooleddie74]

Hear no bad script...see no bad script?

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Picard: CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?!