TOS Caption Contest #138: Intentions, Good and Bad

[scottydog]

Kirk: "But ... but ... it's a dream come true ..."

A victim of Spock's deadly bifurcation, perhaps?

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Edith: I'll let you go ass to mouth later tonight.
Kirk: Jackpot! Spock never let me go ass to mouth.

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: Must be a typo. The must have meant, "On the bridge."

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "Nice woman like you should ..."
Edith: "I've had more spins than a bus tire, dude."

Edith: "I know all about you Navy men, so I went ahead and did my enema before we left home."

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "Mr. McCheese, set course for Jenny Craig IV."

 

[VulcanVixen]

Edith: I'll let you go ass to mouth later tonight.
Kirk: Jackpot! Spock never let me go ass to mouth.

LMFAO! absolutely hilarious!!!

 

[Triskelion]

Jumpsuited guy: <raising weapon, rustles>
Spock: <hearing something rustling, pretends to look in other direction while keeping his peripheral vision cued for movement from his left side>
Jumpsuited guy: <suspects it may be a ruse, but is committed to his assault so steels himself and braces his weapon, preparing to strike>
Spock: <definitely heard a rustling that time from behind the pillar, and besides, sees a shadow on the ground moving, tightens grip around his toolbox>
Jumpsuited guy: <jumps out> Aha! Ohhhhh....
SpocK: <removes impacted tool box from Jumpsuited guy's groin>

McCheese: Why does this station smell like boiled cabbage and desperation?
Leslie: Trade ya. This one's covered in old spice grease.

 

[Triskelion]

 

[Shatmandu]

<wet fart sound>
McCheese: "Man, I regret drinking that gallon of whole milk before my shift."
<another>

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Edith: I'll let you go ass to mouth later tonight.
Kirk: Jackpot! Spock never let me go ass to mouth.

LMFAO! absolutely hilarious!!!

Thanks; it's for all the Kevin Smith fans out there.

 

[scottydog]

Edith: I'll let you go ass to mouth later tonight.
Kirk: Jackpot! Spock never let me go ass to mouth.

Aunt Bee: Get back down here, Floyd, and let's try ass to mouth!

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Edith: I'll let you go ass to mouth later tonight.
Kirk: Jackpot! Spock never let me go ass to mouth.

Aunt Bee: Get back down here, Floyd, and let's try ass to mouth!

A threeway.. um, threefer...for the win.

 

[Captain Crow]

Jumpsuit Guy: Romper, bomper, stomper boo. Tell me, tell me, tell me, do. Magic mirror, tell me today. Have all my friends had fun at play? Why I can see Mr. Spock with his man purse and tool box and off in the distance I can see Carl Spock, Ass Rubbing McCoy, Grignak, and a bird with big knockers.

 

[Nero's Shadow]

God dammit that pointy eared bastard he told me janice rand and uhura were doing a double shift, and there not here they left 5 mins ago apparently kirks asked them to participate in mud wrestling on the rec deck .This is going 2 be the most boring f**kin bridge duty shift EVER !!!!

 

[S'kai]

Joan Collins: <I can't wait to get this jerk on Dallas, where we can ream him a new a**hole.>

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "Did it hurt?"
Edith: "What?"
Floyd: "When you fell from Heaven. He's trying to fuck you."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Floyd: Run, young man. She's been holed more times than the Lusitania.

 

[Shatmandu]

Leslie: "Grignak is going to eat you alive, when you get to the waiting area."

Floyd: "Fuck her, I did! <slams down shade>"

 

[Rat Boy]

Lieutenant Commander McCheese: "How come Sulu always gets to take the conn? Fucking affirmative action."

 

[Ward Fowler]

Floyd: OOOOO Jimmy, take it from me. Stick your dick in some barbicide after you diddle that strumpet.