TOS Caption Contest #138: Intentions, Good and Bad

[Nerys Myk]

SPOCK: Cable guy!

JUMPSUIT: I've been waiting since 8am!!!!!!

YELLOWSHIRT: I'm a goddamn Lt Commander, you TrekBBS bastards!!!!!!!

EDITH: We could drop it off for a trim and pick it up after the picture show.

KIRK: Your webpage sucks.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Kirk: "Oh really? I need to shave my side burns..." thinks to himself: "I hope she gets hit by a car."

 

[Nerys Myk]

AUNT BEE: Here comes Clara, kiss me hard and use lots of tongue.

 

[Nerys Myk]

SPOCK: You have to admit, it was one hell of a cat fight.

 

[Isis]

Yellow Shirt: "Dad was right again. Turns out I should have taken Abacus 101 at the Academy."

 

[M'Sharak]

Spock, unaware of the aggressive nature of man-on-the-street
interviews on Deneva, was about to be caught by surprise.

Leslie surreptitiously programmed into the helm a tricky maneuver which
would use inertia to remove Ensign McCheese from his seat while leaving
his burger in Leslie's possession. Leslie hoped it had the good kind of
pickles, because he knew he'd never get to try it a second time.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Leslie: I ever tell you about the time I died at the hands of a blood-sucking cosmic cloud.
LCDR "Bob": Yeah. Yeah. You were the only Red Shirt to survive. Geez, how many times you gonna tell that one?

 

[Nerys Myk]

MIKE WALLACE VI: Mister Spock...Mister Spock! Is it true you let several crewman die on Taurus II?

 

[Captain Crow]

 

[scottydog]

Hillary Jumpsuit Man: "Mr. Spock, Mr. Spock, may I clean your ears with this Q-tip?"

 

[Triskelion]

Man: Walk around in the future without a jumpsuit, will he? Particle disintegration's too good for him!

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

mutters: "yeah, bonk bonk, on the head, that's right, bonk bonk on the head..."

Navigator: "I dunno, lately I feel like I've just been putting on weight."
Leslie: "Don't worry about it, they always put extra room in those gold shirts."
Kirk: "Mind your controls, mister."

Keeler: "For a man who just received a blowjob in a back alley, you don't look too pleased."
Kirk: "I dunno, something was missing. Say, you have any green bodypaint?"

Kirk: "Did it say how she died?"
Spock: "Asphyxiation. Apparently she was covered from head to toe in green bodypaint."
Kirk: "For real? I thought that was just something Ian Fleming made up. Well, live and learn, live and learn."

 

[Nero's Shadow]

Spock ~ Where are all the WOMEN !!!!
Jumpsuit guy ~ Spock,s not gettin any pon farr from our women on this planet yep just a wind up key 2 the head !!

 

[Triskelion]

Spock: Bring out your dead!

 

[Isis]

Kirk rued the day he got Edith into whips and chains.

 

[Isis]

J.J. Abrams' fusion of Star Trek and Ghostbusters wasn't as successful as his previous venture into the Star Trek franchise.

 

[Isis]

Unfortunately, Spock was blindsided as he thought about the delicious plomeek soup in his lunchbox.

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Ensign Sourdough <thinking> "Damn Leslie's good at tic tac toe..."

 

[Rat Boy]

JJ Abrams next Trek film will feature a reworking of a TOS classic:

Spock: "Jim, if the Dallas Cowboys are to have any shot at the Super Bowl, Edith Keeler must die."

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "How did all these french fries get on the floor up here?"
<McCheese shifts in seat but stays silent.>