TNG Caption This #158 - "Superior Asshole"
- Thread starter cultcross
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Workplace whiplash schemes. Harder to make work in the distant future.
GEORDI:"Someone asking for 'Amanda Huggenkiss.'"
GEORDI:"Damn. The analog Mt. Pilate/Waneda app isn't working right."
When Admiral Nechayev can't slam Picard with some moral dilema or bash his ego in, she just gets hammered and trashes his ready room.
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Picard: Raising up to hit his head with a thud.. and spills everything from his desk
"OH GODDAMN!"
GEORDI: Can we let Prince Albert out of the can?
Picard, Geordi and Data grimace realizing they had been had by the Original cast members in a Roddenberry type Prank...
Geordi: Oh shit...
Picard: Goddamn it Leonard, Bill get off the line!
Picard does his best David Hasselhoff impression.
“Thank God my porcelain doll collection survived the transwarp turbulence all right.”
Geordi: I'm sorry, Data. The insurance company says it's a pre-existing condition.
PSA: A night of hard earl greys and "Sulu Dancing". Please, don't Sulu Dance at the office.
I've got Wesley now, sir.
Ask him if he's got any naked pictures of his mother.
Move over, bitch. I'm the new queen of the ship!
Geordi: Sorry Dr. Claw you've got the wrong number.
Dr. Claw: Damn. I'll dial the right number next time Gadget. Next time.
Picard: That's amazing Wesley, not only did you put everything from my desk on the floor... I can't see you anymore... <squick> oops.
Geordi; No! I don't want to change long distance carriers!
Data: Starfleet told us to cut costs. That's why I am not only Chief of Ops, but also your comm...
Picard: Shut up Data.
Picard: Only after all his stuff was knocked off his desk, did Picard finally admit that most of it was useless shit he just had around to "look busy" when the other officers dropped by the Ready Room.
Geordi: The 24th Century and we can't even afford an iPhone for Data...
Picard: Geordi, have you gotten an answer on why we got that blue screen of death on the LCARS computers?
Geordi: I can't tell sir, they've outsourced their call center to Romulus. They act like they're Vulcans, but the accent gives them away...
Geordi: It's the 1970's. They want their digital time references back.
Technological convergence dictates that all inventions eventually become subsumed into a telephone.
or
Microsoft's first stab at the smartphone market qualifies as a digital device, in that you have to use your fingers to dial it.
or
Data: Most intriguing. It appears that I was invented in a much earlier timeframe than I had anticipated.
or
Data: I'm sorry, I'm not in right now…
Geordi: Knock it off, you're standing right there!
Data: …Please leave a message…
Geordi: Stop that!
Data…after the…
Picard: His emotion chip isn't making him all homicidal like usual, just obnoxious, so that's a step in the right direction.
or
Geordi: Well, Data's Salvador Dahli chip seems to be working…
or
Picard: Damned carrot top. Has to turn everything into a prop.
Geordi: (deep manly voice) Menswear. (effeminate voice) Oh, yes, Mr. Rumbold, Captain Peacock is standing right here.
Geordi: (deep manly voice) Menswear. (effeminate voice) Oh, yes, Mr. Rumbold, Captain Peacock is standing right here.
Data (effete): I haven't been this far in deep space since I went the extra mile with that poor lost longshoreman who was looking for a hostel to bed in.
Picard: A hostile bedouin? In London?
Data: Bedouin? Well he certainly knew a good hump when he saw one.