Worlds most stupidest help line

[Captain Shaw]

For some reason my mother was given a duster from work to take home that is for cleaning your computer screen (just looks like a normal duster to me)
And the writing on it Say's....For technical support on how to use this duster please contact this number
Why would anyone need a help line to use a duster.
So i was wondering what is the most stupidest help line you have ever seen.

 

[Holdfast]

I thought this thread was going to be about the Swine Flu Hotline...

 

[Cakes488]

Directions on a shampoo bottle.

 

[LitmusDragon]

There was a Superman halloween costume a while back that came with the disclaimer "does not allow user to fly".

 

[Lindley]

I dunno, I think my favorite is still the sun shield that says "remove before driving"....

 

[Captain Shaw]

I like the packet of nut's that say warning this product contains nuts.

 

[Da'an]

Or the sleeping tablets that "may cause drowsiness".

 

[Trekker4747]

On a can of soda I saw once:

"Lift tab and pull forward."

If you're so inept that you need instructions to open a freaking can of pop you utterly FAIL at life.

 

[trekkiedane]

Yeah Wonko the Sane was definitely on to us

linky

 

[Kirby]

Every cup of coffee that has "WARNING - beverage is hot" printed on it.

 

[hellsgate]

Every cup of coffee that has "WARNING - beverage is hot" printed on it.

Thanks to every dickhead that thinks one bad coffee spill on their lap means a disability settlement paycheck and medical damages on someone else's dime for life.

 

[Trekker4747]

Every cup of coffee that has "WARNING - beverage is hot" printed on it.

Thanks to every dickhead that thinks one bad coffee spill on their lap means a disability settlement paycheck and medical damages on someone else's dime for life.

I KNEW this would come up!

The woman who "started" that received third-degree burns from the coffee that spilled on within seconds her as the coffee -under McDonald's policies- was served to her far hotter than can could be drank and a temperatures that could cause severe burns. If the coffee had been 20 degrees "cooler" (yet still hot) it wouldn't of caused such severe burns so quickly. Giving her time to take measures to protect herself from getting burned.

 

[Dr. Horrible]

Wasn't there a story about someone putting their poodle into a microwave to dry it out after being in the rain, successfully sueing the manufacturer when the dog died? The instructions said nothing about it being a risk to pets or something.

 

[Aragorn]

Instructions for internet access that tells you if you're unable to get online, to go to a web site for help.

 

[Kirby]

I'm not 100% sure that this story is true but some woman apparently ate the contraceptive jelly given to her by her doctor on toast instead of using it as intended, causing her to (unfortunately) reproduce, and causing all makers of contraceptive jelly to put "do not eat" on their packaging.

 

[tharpdevenport]

I thought this thread was going to be about the Swine Flu Hotline...

"Press 1 for Swine Flu"


"1" must not get pressed very often. ;-)

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

I'm not 100% sure that this story is true but some woman apparently ate the contraceptive jelly given to her by her doctor on toast instead of using it as intended, causing her to (unfortunately) reproduce, and causing all makers of contraceptive jelly to put "do not eat" on their packaging.

No, that's just an urban legend.

 

[tharpdevenport]

It's just a precaution. Curious to silly what silly things lie about me, I picked up a remte, opened it, and pushed the battiers until I could read the warning label:

Consult a doctor immediately is swallowed.

Okay, 1: Who else are you going to consult? CitiBank? And 2: if you swallow it, you probably deserve to die. This is nature's way to weeding out people like you.

 

[Freakness]

"most stupidest"?