My council is here to help me ~ oh Joy

[K'Ehleyr]

So I had a leaflet through my door this evening from my 'neighbourhood council' welcoming me to the newsletter ~ there were no cocktails or hor's d'ouvres so I was not impressed already

On the front page was a very rough map of where in my town I live ~ thanks for that I am now secure in the fact that after a night out I can get within a mile of home.

In the middle pages (it was more an A4 page folded in half) I learnt that we have 3 middle aged persons that have been trained to use the speed indicator device (SID oh the humour), we have 'Rangers' that will clear vegetation from growing over traffic signs (the amusing thing here is whoever put the leaflet together reversed the photo so it made no sense) and included last years 'town in bloom' winners. I have a flat with no garden ~ why not give me a paper cut and rub lemon juice into it?

On the last page, however, I am assured that I am very lucky to have my own dedicated tree warden who I can contact via The Clerk. I don't have a garden, I don't have a shrub, I don't have a window box ~ for crying out loud I don't have an indoor plant or even a bloody cactus. Why in hell's name do I need a dedicated tree warden

Does anyone else suffer this patronising crap?

 

[trekkiedane]

Does anyone else suffer this patronising crap?

Even though I resigned my membership from church the moment I 'became of age' the church across the street from where I live still puts their weekly (monthly?) flyers through my mailbox! -don't they realise it's a waste of their members money?

 

[JustKate]

Well, the poor schmoes...clearly they have no market research on who this thing actually goes to, although you'd think that a quick walk (perhaps using that fine, fine map?) would tell them a little something.

Or maybe it isn't even "schmoes" in the plural. Maybe it's just one schmoe, and I'd guess that he or she has a garden...

And I might also guess, although I might wait until I get the next one so as to have more data, that it's quite possible that this person/these people are really only interested in the residents who have gardens. It's a working theory, anyway, though I hope I'm wrong.

 

[Holdfast]

My council is here to help me

The cut-down 7-word British version of Reagan's famous "9 most terrifying words in the English language".

 

[Mallory]

I get a monthly newsletter every month from the town I live in that's actually pretty useful and informative.

 

[Plecostomus]

I get a newsletter about the town and all the WONDERFUL things the town is wasting our tax money on (ANOTHER new dump truck, we have 14 now... remodeled offices at the sewer plant... things like that.)

The other news letter comes out a couple times a year. It's a newletter put out by the owners of the Nuclear Power Plant, and it details upcoming maintenance projects, planned shutdowns, events sponsored by Constellation Nuclear and stuff of that nature.

...of the two I find the nuclear thingy newletter more interesting and useful than the town rag.

 

[miraclefan]

I don't get newsletters from my town. And who gives out newsletters in THIS day & AGE?

 

[wamdue]

I live in a village, long since ruined by add on developments, yet every time one is in the planning stages, some of the local residents still send out the plans and ask us all to object.

its sweet that they care, but there are others bits of the village, which cold do with their attention, and the problems they highlight are at best half true and could be easily solved.

 

[Plecostomus]

I don't get newsletters from my town. And who gives out newsletters in THIS day & AGE?

57% of our town is "old people" who complain about everything, pass laws to punish the youngsters and block anything that may change "property values."

The Library has 12 internet computers, and a strict time limit, and even stricter filtering. Also the computers are four generations behind and haven't been deloused since I stopped volunteering five years ago.

...the old people come in bitch about the "kids" using the computers and there not being any time for the "tax payers" to use 'em... sooo we set up classes for Senior Citizens and special "senior only" computer times... Went so far as to reserve two computers for "55 and Older. "

All this is Free, mind you! 100% Free! No charge!

No one shows up.


...long story short this is why we have mailed newsletters around here. The people who want this sort of information aren't savvy enough to get it any other way.

 

[JustKate]

A couple of organizations I'm affiliated with have done surveys on old-fashioned paper newsletters vs. electronic newsletters. Really. And even among people who are computer savvy there is a strong sentiment (I think it might be growing, though I'll have to wait a while to see) that a nice, clean, concise, and easy-to-read newsletter is preferable to yet ANOTHER email, which they would probably delete half the time without noticing it much less reading it.

I don't have the exact figures handy, but for regular users of the Internet, it was more that 50 percent in favor of a hardcopy newsletter, and even some of the rest wanted the newsletter in both paper and electronic formats. Between those two groups, a clear majority of regular users of the Internet still like a paper newsletter, so long as it's short and easy to read. Only a relatively small number (maybe 30 percent or so) wanted it electronically only.

And of course among those who aren't email savvy, the figures were even lopsidedly in favor of a printed newsletter.

I think there are just a lot of people out there who even though they depend on email also think they get way too much of it and who still like the idea of reading a newsletter at their convenience when they happen to have a few minutes to spare. In fact, now that I think about it, I'm one of those people!

 

[Braindeer]

You know what my council is doing for me? They're SAVING THE ENVIRONMENT! I have a recycling bin! But...hang on, what's this? You won't be collecting it regularly? And...if I over fill it, I have to take my recycling to the tip myself? In a car?

Um...what?

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

I don't get any newsletters through regular mail. Only via e-mail, and that's one I asked for (Major League Baseball ).

 

[jamestyler]

I occasionally get the Renfrewshire newsletter thing telling me that the children are wondering and old people are an asset to the community.

It reads like a tourist guide. In reality the bulk of the children are stab happy morons and the bulk of the pensioners are the types who arrive at my old workplace at 6am and complain that we're not open yet - despite being told every day we open at 8.

It tends to also tell us how safe and wonderful the community is in complete denial of all the crime in the area or the letters the council sends threatening us if we leave our bins out.

 

[Count Zero]

Mmh, I don't get any newsletters from my town. But then again, my town is really big and really broke. So it would be a waste of money better invested in the police or roads repair or some such thing, anyway. Going by that logic, we should actually have one...

 

[auntiehill]

Our neighborhood puts out a monthly magazine. It has:

Open and closing times for the pools and waterpark.
How to sign up to use the tennis courts.
What types of riding lessons you can get at the stables.
What bands are playing in the neighborhood amphitheater.
What day trips the HOA has arranged for kids, teen and adults.
What exercise classes are available in the neighborhood gym and how much they cost.
Improvements and construction news.
Services the HOA provides for homeowners.
Special seasonal events, like the summer outdoor movies or blood drives or bake sales.
Ads from the businesses of residents and news about the neighborhood's sports teams. We have a swim team, a soccer team and a softball team.

And we currently take advantage of NONE of these things at all. We used to use the free gym and go to one of the pools, but we haven't done that in AGES. We didn't even go to the fireworks show on the 4th.

If I told how much our HOA fees are, you'd probably have a stroke.

 

[An Officer]

I found out through the local newsletter my neighbourhood throws a party with food, drink and live music in the local square once a year... I haven't been to one yet, but it looks pretty inviting.

 

[K'Ehleyr]

I must admit I was a bit ratty when I read it and posted last night ~ but it doesn't contain any useful information at all. And I've just noticed this is the 'summer' edition so I shall have to wait with baited breath until Autumn to know the results of the garden comp

...I think there are just a lot of people out there who even though they depend on email also think they get way too much of it and who still like the idea of reading a newsletter at their convenience when they happen to have a few minutes to spare. In fact, now that I think about it, I'm one of those people!

I concur ~ I certainly wouldn't go on-line to read such inconsequential nonsense. But still it does not give me any more information than I can find in the local newspaper and in the paper I get to find out who won the face painting competition at the local school

You know what my council is doing for me? They're SAVING THE ENVIRONMENT! I have a recycling bin! But...hang on, what's this? You won't be collecting it regularly? And...if I over fill it, I have to take my recycling to the tip myself? In a car?

Um...what?

Yep we have bins for papers and tins/plastics but no bottle bin. We are the only ones who use them in our block. And over Christmas ~ Oh I'm getting started on Christmas bin collections... WHY at the time when we generate the most rubbish in the year do collections go to pot. I'm not against them having holidays off but surely, especially at that time of year overtime would be very much appreciated and no need for collections to finally get back to normal late February just in time for the Easter debacle

I did inherit an 'illegally planted shrub' () when I moved in and got snippy little hints in a 'round robin' that it should be cut back. I pointed out that I had no gardening equipment, no garden waste bin and no car to dispose of rubbish. After finally getting this through to 'the powers that be' the next time the communal gardeners came round they chopped it down and put it in the back of the van ~ easy but it took months before it was done.

This is why councils/housing associations annoy me ~ it's all about grand plans and people feeling good by producing 'newsletters' when nothing practical is done.

Our neighborhood puts out a monthly magazine. It has:

Open and closing times for the pools and waterpark.
How to sign up to use the tennis courts.
What types of riding lessons you can get at the stables.
What bands are playing in the neighborhood amphitheater.
What day trips the HOA has arranged for kids, teen and adults.
What exercise classes are available in the neighborhood gym and how much they cost.
Improvements and construction news.
Services the HOA provides for homeowners.
Special seasonal events, like the summer outdoor movies or blood drives or bake sales.
Ads from the businesses of residents and news about the neighborhood's sports teams. We have a swim team, a soccer team and a softball team.

And we currently take advantage of NONE of these things at all. We used to use the free gym and go to one of the pools, but we haven't done that in AGES. We didn't even go to the fireworks show on the 4th.

If I told how much our HOA fees are, you'd probably have a stroke.

But that's informative and useful ~ crickey you have horses, an amphitheartre, tennis courts and day trips, take advantage of them We, apparently, have a toddler playgroup and a coffee morning for the elderly

I found out through the local newsletter my neighbourhood throws a party with food, drink and live music in the local square once a year... I haven't been to one yet, but it looks pretty inviting.

Go! Get seriously drunk and see if you make (or even receive) the next newsletter

 

[Captain Shaw]

We got one about the all the sport activates we can do.
But they did not think to put the timetable for swimming in there also they did not think to put this information on line.
They also did not tell you that if there are some plants waiting to be planted and they are in front of the nets people can not get you the nets to play tennis.
Also they also forgot to tell you that they only have one key to put the nets up and because the school has to use the park they have the key so at the weekends you have to jerry rig something with a pen and a bit of wire.
My favorite part is the pictures of brocky and peggy these are characters that some ad person has been paid a lot of money to come up with to get kids to eat there veg.
I wish i could scan you the pictures
Edit here is a picture http://www.intosport.org.uk/supportsam.jpg

 

[K'Ehleyr]

We got one about the all the sport activates we can do.
But they did not think to put the timetable for swimming in there also they did not think to put this information on line.
They also did not tell you that if there are some plants waiting to be planted and they are in front of the nets people can not get you the nets to play tennis.
Also they also forgot to tell you that they only have one key to put the nets up and because the school has to use the park they have the key so at the weekends you have to jerry rig something with a pen and a bit of wire.
My favorite part is the pictures of brocky and peggy these are characters that some ad person has been paid a lot of money to come up with to get kids to eat there veg.
I wish i could scan you the pictures
Edit here is a picture http://www.intosport.org.uk/supportsam.jpg

Hmmm suddenly I have an uncontrolable urge for a pineapple ~ to throw at someone. That's classic

 

[Captain Shaw]

We got one about the all the sport activates we can do.
But they did not think to put the timetable for swimming in there also they did not think to put this information on line.
They also did not tell you that if there are some plants waiting to be planted and they are in front of the nets people can not get you the nets to play tennis.
Also they also forgot to tell you that they only have one key to put the nets up and because the school has to use the park they have the key so at the weekends you have to jerry rig something with a pen and a bit of wire.
My favorite part is the pictures of brocky and peggy these are characters that some ad person has been paid a lot of money to come up with to get kids to eat there veg.
I wish i could scan you the pictures
Edit here is a picture http://www.intosport.org.uk/supportsam.jpg

Hmmm suddenly I have an uncontrolable urge for a pineapple ~ to throw at someone. That's classic

Gets worst none of the links of the story are still working but they had to recall all the water bottles B&P gave out i think they were trying to kill the kids.
Just worked out where they got the idea for Peggy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POv-3yIPSWc