TOS Temporary Caption Contest #9: Couples Therapy

[M'Sharak]

"Let us then go forward, together, towards Miami Beach, that the dream
of this crazy Italian boy, indivisible, should not perish from the map!"
"I call 'shenanigans'! It no say that in E Pleb Neesta. Where Cloud Festus?"

" ...and finally: which of you fine young androids has brought a fatty for Carl today?"

 

[Gary7]

Spock: You do of course realize that I am sexually active but once every 7 years.
Alice 1: Mr. Spock, that is with biological beings. We are androids... certainly much more to your liking. Let us please you now.
Spock: Curious... you do have a point there.

 

[Gary7]

Kirk: "Of course I know it makes absolutely no sense that the US Constitution from Earth would be on this God forsaken planet... but we've got a gullible audience and a limited budget--"

Cloud William: "Maybe it was another one of those signature temporal violations of that Federation of yours..."

 

[Gary7]

Kelly: "Dammit Leonard, they've moved us into the 10pm slot on Friday nights. The end of our paychecks is near!"

Nimoy: "Deforest, I've already got a Broadway play lined up and Shatner has a margarine commercial. Don't tell me you haven't found anything yet..."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Spock: "Your lack of grief is a matter of concern Doctor. After such a traumatic event, it would be logical to break down and cry like a bitch."
McCoy: "Don't make me go there Spock!"
Spock: "It is a matter of crew morale. When the chief physician fails to share the pervading mood, or have any empathy at all, it impacts on crew performance."
McCoy: "Dammit Spock, I liked him better before he was white. Satisfied?"

 

[Rat Boy]

Carl Spock: "Is Carl Spock going to have to remove the batteries from a bitch?"

Kirk: "That's odd. It looks like they printed it on a kiddie place mat from McDonald's."

 

[Nerys Myk]

MCCOY: Tell Carl this aint no free clinic! I got better things to do that stitch up his 'hos!!!!

 

[Triskelion]

"Ten ways to tell if your man is cheating"?
Surveys big circulation mover.
But...number four, "Is he a starship officer"??
If shoe fit.
All right, print it. But next month we're running something against fur.

Spock: This is the finger I push buttons with.
Ladies: Oooooooh.

 

[S'kai]

McCoy: Space is death and disease surrounded by darkness and silence !

Spock: Really, Doctor. I though you would have gotten over that by now.

 

[Rat Boy]

Roddenberry's first attempt to simulate the shaking of the bridge met with little approval from the cast.

 

[Nerys Myk]

MCCOY'S BARBER SHOP

MCCOY: You a fan of the Nero look?

SPOCK: Why do you ask?

MCCOY: I...ah... might have nicked your ear.

 

[Nerys Myk]

FLOYD: ooh...let me even out the bangs...yyyesss..

 

[Isis]

You mean I could have had a V8?

 

[Triskelion]

I'll get started just as soon as Opie gets here with Aunt Bee's molasses dish.

Even in this corner of the galaxy, two plus one equals a pork sandwich.

You see, the cows are only pretending to be dumb animals. After the car passes, they go back to standing up.
Me still don't get Far Side.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

"Oonga Boonga, me Captain Caveman."
"and me Captain Kirk. Dammit! You got me doing it now."
"Bad time for power failure."

 

[Rat Boy]

Cloud William: "Why Founding Fathers use letter 'F' instead of 'S' a lot?"

Kirk: "They were drunks. Seriously, Sam Adams was drinking Ben Franklin under the table during most sessions of Congress. It's a wonder they won."

 

[Yeoman Randi]

(Wait for it........ WAIT FOR IT......)

"Come on! Pull my finger!"

(seriously, you KNEW someone was going to use that!)

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Kirk: Its called a bro!

 

[Isis]

Spock: Oh, so that wasn't just the Saurian brandy making me see double.

Kirk: OK, the lyrics aren't bad, but does it have a beat you can dance to?

 

[Isis]

And one for the holiday:

Shatner: Yes...this will be...a real test...of...my acting...ability. For a...Canadian...like me...to do...this e plebnista...speech, I am...already...thinking...Emmy.