Movie Caption Contest #97: God Complex

[Nerys Myk]

GOD: Oh, splendid! This will be jolly fun!

MOM: You put those toys back where you found them! You're still on a time out , young man!

GOD: I never get to have any fun.

KIRK: Trelane?

 

[Shatmandu]

David Koresh: "Welcome, gentlemen. I've waited a long time for this ..."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Kirk: "Incredible"
Spock: "Fascinating."
McCoy: "Jesus Christ!"
Voice: "Hey son! Someone here to see you!"

 

[Shatmandu]

God: "I do confession on Thursdays. Come back then."
<Light flickers off, rocks retract into ground.>

Sybok: "Why do You allow bad things to happen?"
God, shrugging: "Gotta do somethin'."

God: "You have traveled far, and I ..."
<pause>
McCoy: "Everything okay?"
God: "Yes. Busload of nuns on a curvy mountain road. Couldn't help myself. Where were we?"

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Bajor's most sacred orb: The Orb of Shat-appeal.

 

[Shatmandu]

God: "This is for screwing more women than Jenny Craig."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

God: Every time I try to talk to someone it's "sorry this" and "forgive me that" and "I'm not worthy"...

 

[Shatmandu]

^

God: "Every time you called out my name during sex, I had to put down my spoon. Do you know how much cold soup I've eaten because of you four assholes?"
McCoy: "Oh, God ..."
<clink sound>
God: "And there it goes again ... You mother-fuckers."

 

[Rat Boy]

God: "And the scrawny one known as McCoy, being the most attractive of the men, shall be snu-snued by the most beautiful women of Sha-ka-ree. Then the large women. Then the petite women. Then the beautiful women again. And so on in that fashion."

 

[Shatmandu]

God: "And the scrawny one known as McCoy, being the most attractive of the men, shall be snu-snued by the most beautiful women of Sha-ka-ree. Then the large women. Then the petite women. Then the beautiful women again. And so on in that fashion."

McCoy, slapping Sybok on the shoulder: "Where were you thirty years ago, asshole?"

God: "Dogs? In Heaven? No, the security deposit is out-friggin'-rageous."

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "God...God really is Samuel L. Jackson!"

God: "And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee!"

 

[Shatmandu]

^

Samuel L. Jackson's eyelighting would be purple.

Joe, fazaaaammm

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Shatner: When I agreed to do this film, I said, "no strings attached!"

 

[Shatmandu]

TOS-film era replacement hearts were clumsy and prone to explosions if the cord touched a power line.

 

[cooleddie74]

GOD ENTITY:"Now...I demand a shrubbery!!!"

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"Was it something I blasphemed?!"

 

[Alrik]

McCoy: "Well that's something new. Usually when he eats chili its his asshole that explodes."

 

[Shatmandu]

Spock, after watching Kirk tumble: "Y'know, God, the skinny one uses your name in vain all the time."

 

[LeadHead]

God: Every time I try to talk to someone it's "sorry this" and "forgive me that" and "I'm not worthy"...

God: Captain Kirk, you and your crew shall have a task to make them an example in these dark times.
Kirk: What is it?
God: Blow me up already so this trainwreck of a film can end!

 

[LeadHead]

Do you think they used too many of those spotlights on the Bridge in the new movie?