Movie Caption Contest #97: God Complex

[Rat Boy]

Sybok: "I've seen shit that'll turn you white."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Kirk: What does God need with a starship?
God: I SAID I NEEDED SOME JEFFERSON STARSHIP!!! I'VE BEEN STUCK HERE FOR ALL ETERNITY WITHOUT ANYTHING GOOD TO LISTEN TO.

 

[trampledamage]

Kirk: What does God need with a starship?
God: I SAID I NEEDED SOME JEFFERSON STARSHIP!!! I'VE BEEN STUCK HERE FOR ALL ETERNITY WITHOUT ANYTHING GOOD TO LISTEN TO.

 

[BriGuy]

Spock: I blame myself.
Sybok: So do I.
McCoy: I'm at fault, too.
Kirk: Yes... it's all your fault.

 

[Shatmandu]

<Lebron James throws more talcum powder into the air.>

 

[Nerys Myk]

SYBOK: Eric Clapton????

 

[Daneel]

SYBOK: "I was right... it truly is God. Spock, my brother, have you ever seen such a glorious sight? Spock?"

McCOY: "What the blazes are you doing, Spock? How can you just turn your head away? I mean, this is the Almighty in front of us, and --"

SPOCK: "Yes, Doctor, we are already acquainted. I was dead for several months, if you recall."

 

[Shatmandu]

Sybok: "I couldn't help but notice your pain. <considers> Perhaps if you loosened your belt ..."
<"God" does so.>
"God": "Sayyyyy, that does feel better. You're all free to go. Thanks so much for coming by."
<credits roll>

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: What does God need with a starship?
God: I SAID I NEEDED SOME JEFFERSON STARSHIP!!! I'VE BEEN STUCK HERE FOR ALL ETERNITY WITHOUT ANYTHING GOOD TO LISTEN TO.

McCoy: "And you choose Starship? <turns> Jim, this is no God."

Shatner: "Okay, guys, look where you think our Box Office Receipts will be ..."

 

[Shatmandu]

God, eyes flashing: "Even singing 'Row, Row, Row Your Boat,' you suck."

Picard: "Sex is different in the future. We don't use erections."

Kirk, noticing: "Spock, little help here."
Spock: "Sorry, sir. Distracted. I gotta take a wicked dump."

Spock, singing, then passing it off: "... the calliope crashed to the ground ..."
Sybok, singing, then passing it off: "The calliope crashed to the ground ..."
McCoy, singing, then passing it off: "But she was ..."
Kirk, singing, then passing it off: "Blinded by the light ..."
Spock: "I'm sorry, I've never quite gotten the next line."

 

[Diesel Micky Dolenz]

Picard: "It's these damned model starships! They keep scanning me... always scanning. Even now I can feel it!"

Lily: "So... no anti-psychotics in the future, either?"

 

[Rat Boy]

God: "I asked for a hoedown and dammit, I want a hoedown!"

 

[Triskelion]

Picard: Do you like...trains?
Lily: Hell yeah. Bring 'em on.
Picard: Mr Data, prepare Picard's Happy Time Junction.
Lily: These aren't...like...toy trains, right?
Picard: Oh no. Some of them are electric.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

God: "I asked for a hoedown and dammit, I want a hoedown!"

Spock: "Drew Carey wasn't this mean..."

 

[Shatmandu]

Picard: "My cupcakes!"

Picard: "I'll have her say it to you, if she's not been assimilated. There's just something about the way she says 'croissant' that'll make you want to punch her face off."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

God: "EVOLUTION! WHAT KIND OF CRAP IS THAT?"

Spock: "Centuries of scientific research have shown that all life-forms have risen from lower life-forms through a process of natural selection. This can be seen in the evidence visible in the fossil record of many planets, and..."

God: "DINOSAURS! YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT FOSSILS RIGHT? I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU FELL FOR THAT. I JUST SMOKED SOME LETHAL WEED ONE NIGHT AND WAS GOOFING OFF. I JUST PUT ALL THEM OLD BONES DOWN THERE TO FUCK WIT Y'ALL"

Spock: "The duck billed platypus?"

God: "HAD SOME BITS LEFT OVER..."

Kirk: "About the ten commandments..."

God: "THREE COMMANDMENTS..."

Kirk: "What?"

God: "STUPID COMMITTEE! MINE ARE JUST THREE. 1) I AM GOD! SELF EXPLANATORY THAT ONE, 2) DON'T STEAL AND 3) DON'T KILL. YOU'D THINK THAT'S ALL YOU NEED, BUT SOME IDIOT DECIDED THAT WE OUGHT TO COMMISSION AN INQUIRY, HAVE A QUORUM, A QUANGO, IT'S ALWAYS THE WAY, YOU HAVE A GOOD IDEA AND THE BUREAUCRATS GET INVOLVED."

McCoy: "I don't believe it."

God: "HONEST TO ME! DON'T TAKE MY NAME IN VAIN, THAT WAS STEVE'S IDEA, HE'S A COPYRIGHT LAWYER. OBSERVE THE SABBATH, YUSUF'S, AFTER HE INVENTED THE CALENDAR. HONOUR YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR FATHER... MY 'RENTS MADE ME PUT THAT IN. THREATENED TO CUT OFF MY ALLOWANCE, ADULTERY? FUCKING DIVORCE LAWYERS. BEARING FALSE WITNESS... SERIOUSLY, HAVE YOU READ SOME OF THE STUFF THAT HAPPENS IN THE BIBLE? IF THAT SHIT WEREN'T MADE UP IT WOULDN'T BE A BEST SELLER NOW WOULD IT? AS FOR THE COVETING STUFF, BOB NEXT DOOR CAUGHT ME MAKING EYES AT ALICE... AND ALICE, SHE READ ABOUT SOME OF THE WEIRD SHIT I DID WHEN I WAS ZEUS. I WAS YOUNG, I NEEDED THE MONEY

 

[Mistral]

Spock, singing, then passing it off: "... the calliope crashed to the ground ..."
Sybok, singing, then passing it off: "The calliope crashed to the ground ..."
McCoy, singing, then passing it off: "But she was ..."
Kirk, singing, then passing it off: "Blinded by the light ..."
Spock: "I'm sorry, I've never quite gotten the next line."

McCoy(rolling eyes): "Wrecked up like a douche, another runner in the night..."

Kirk: "Not douche, you senile old coot, its duece."

McCoy: "Are you sure? 'Cause I'd swear-"

Kirk: "I'm an expert on douches-trust me, its deuce.

 

[Shatmandu]

^

God: "I shall judge what year this is by asking the density of the one you call 'Nyota.'"

 

[Triskelion]

Kirk: What does God need with a starship?
God: Oh, you know...Burger King.

Janeway: Do you want supersize?
Paris: Ya think?
God: I have a coupon....

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Shatner's ego finally taken down by poor special effects and shoddy stuntwork.

And for any Rowin Atkinson fans out there...

Picard: I'd like to tell you the future's ideas on fellatio, Lily. But I haven't the foggiest idea what fellatio is?