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Pitch terrible ideas for episodes

"Never" (VOY)
Voyager has a systems problem with the bioneural gel packs, and doesn't get assigned the task of stopping the Maquis ship. Instead, they leave a week later, and receive the standard package of star mapping and charting assignments.

"Happy Trees"(TNG)
To forward his hobby of painting, Data retreats to the holodeck and calls up a program featuring Bob Ross from PBS to teach "The Joy of Painting".

"Five Years Uneventful" (TOS)
An episode shot entirely in a bathroom on the Enterprise.
 
'War - Huh! What is it good for??'

A DS9 or TNG episode where there is another Cardassian/Romulan/Dominion/ Borg war. Lots of new ships with new weapons get blown up or destroyed and there is much blood and guts everywhere, though our heroes somehow manage to survive to the end of the episode.;)
 
TNG: Treat your friends kindly

Picard negotiates the legal minutiae of a treaty with several nondescript alien races. The entire episode is set in the board room. Much dialogue concerning trade agreements and clauses ensues.
 
"The Return of Tuvix"
When Tuvok has to go through Pon Far, the only cure is to recreate the transporter accident that created Tuvix. Tuvix takes over as chef on Voyager, serving up delicious fried dishes made with his favorite additive - Olestra. When a crisis of leakage hits the crew; how will Voyager cope when everyone has to go, but there isn't a single toilet on board?
 
"Quid Pro Quo, Bitches" - (ENT)

The entire episode consists of a metafictional vision with Archer as Rick Berman and Trip as Brannon Braga bitching on internet message boards about how Trekkies ruined Star Trek.
 
Herkimer Jitty said:
"Quid Pro Quo, Bitches" - (ENT)

The entire episode consists of a metafictional vision with Archer as Rick Berman and Trip as Brannon Braga bitching on internet message boards about how Trekkies ruined Star Trek.
Click to expand...

Lol, you know it would only have been a matter of time if B&B were left in charge to have a metanarrative script.
 
Any ST series.

The crew successfully charts an undiscovered Nebula and nothing happens. Star Fleet is pleased with the report.
 
VOY: "The Borg King"

The crew discovers the Borg King, who turns out to be a Chef from Sweeden. (Puppeteering performed by the Henson company).
 
Quark Be Free-DS9
After recieving the 'Photons be free' holonovel,Quark decides to create his own version,portraying DS9 as a Ferengi Garbage Ship,himself as a pitiful,irritating red-shirt and Sisko as the big,bad captain.The DS9 crew play the holonovel and the holonovel ends with Quark being blown out of an airlock by holo-Sisko.The real Sisko decides to do the same.
 
Meet The New Captain-TOS
Bored while waiting for Capt. Kirk and his away team to come back to the Enterprise,a bored transporter operator watches episodes of Futurama.However there is a malfunction,and when the away team beams back to the Enterprise,Capt. Kirk becomes Zapp Brannigan!!!
 
"The Duplicated Man" (TOS)

Lt. Leslie, on a planet with Kirk and others beams back to the ship unaware he's got some strange ore on himself. Ten minutes later the transporter materializes a duplicate Lt. Leslie. No, he's not split into good/bad Lt. Leslie, the malfunctioning transporter is simply making copies of Lt. Leslie every ten minutes.

They finally fix the transporter at the end of the ep but by then they're stuck with six identical Lt. Leslies so they're assigned to different duties on the ship. One decides to leave Starfleet and emigrate to Eminiar VII.

"Up Yours, Fans" (any show)
The producers of the show get sick and tired of fans constantly bitching and moaning about minor nitpicky inconsistencies so they decide to stick it to the fans and give them something to REALLY complain about. They make an episode that violates every continuity they can think of knowing full well it'll become Holy Official Onscreen Canon.

Some examples:
Kirk: My middle name is Henry.
Spock: My mother is a Vulcan and my father is human.
Picard: Starfleet is a military, pure and simple.

One gem from a particularly sadistic producer:
Picard: It's a good thing we'll never encounter the Star Wars universe. There's absolutely no doubt the Empire would nost certainly kick our asses big time.

Robert
 
"I'd Rather Have a Bottle In Front of Me, Than Have to Have a Frontal Lobotomy" (TOS)

A babe half-dressed in silver lamé and go-go boots beams herself on board the Enterprise, incapacitates the entire crew, and steals Spock's brain.

What?! It's been done already? Damn it!
 
VOY: Salamander
Chakotay and Seven are in a shuttlecraft exploring a nebula for some reason. The shuttle encounters a Borg ship that has been disabled by a [tech]. Chakotay decides to beam aboard, and after mucking around for forty five seconds they stumble on a wounded Borg Queen. They take her back to Voyager and nurse her back to health, where Janeway uses several sappy self-righteous speeches to win her over to the human point of view. The Borg Queen responds with some incoherent mustache twirling and remains evil. Then suddenly the ship is attacked by some alien of the week species who has somehow found out that the Queen is aboard and they want Voyager to turn her over. Voyager uses a [tech] to disable those ships at serious risk to itself, which convinces the queen that humans are a-okay. Voyager eventually delivers the Queen back to a Borg ship, where she meets with ANOTHER queen and uploads all the data she sneakily stole from their computers while she was pretending to be injured.
 
hofner said:
"The Duplicated Man" (TOS)

Lt. Leslie, on a planet with Kirk and others beams back to the ship unaware he's got some strange ore on himself. Ten minutes later the transporter materializes a duplicate Lt. Leslie. No, he's not split into good/bad Lt. Leslie, the malfunctioning transporter is simply making copies of Lt. Leslie every ten minutes.

They finally fix the transporter at the end of the ep but by then they're stuck with six identical Lt. Leslies so they're assigned to different duties on the ship. One decides to leave Starfleet and emigrate to Eminiar VII.
Click to expand...

Hey, that's not terrible... but one's gotta be a murderer or something so we can get the danger music.

"Up Yours, Fans" (any show)
The producers of the show get sick and tired of fans constantly bitching and moaning about minor nitpicky inconsistencies so they decide to stick it to the fans and give them something to REALLY complain about. They make an episode that violates every continuity they can think of knowing full well it'll become Holy Official Onscreen Canon.

Some examples:
Kirk: My middle name is Henry.
Spock: My mother is a Vulcan and my father is human.
Picard: Starfleet is a military, pure and simple.
Click to expand...

I would watch it.:lol:

Ironically, the bit about Spock at least avoids one of the insurmountable problems with his birth.:shifty:
 
newtype_alpha said:
VOY: Salamander
Chakotay and Seven are in a shuttlecraft exploring a nebula for some reason. The shuttle encounters a Borg ship that has been disabled by a [tech]. Chakotay decides to beam aboard, and after mucking around for forty five seconds they stumble on a wounded Borg Queen. They take her back to Voyager and nurse her back to health, where Janeway uses several sappy self-righteous speeches to win her over to the human point of view. The Borg Queen responds with some incoherent mustache twirling and remains evil. Then suddenly the ship is attacked by some alien of the week species who has somehow found out that the Queen is aboard and they want Voyager to turn her over. Voyager uses a [tech] to disable those ships at serious risk to itself, which convinces the queen that humans are a-okay. Voyager eventually delivers the Queen back to a Borg ship, where she meets with ANOTHER queen and uploads all the data she sneakily stole from their computers while she was pretending to be injured.
Click to expand...

Sad thing is, if Voyager had run another year, I TOTALLY see that happening.
 
Next Week Was Last Tuesday

Kirk develops some strange disease. Spock and McCoy discover the virus travels through time and deduce Kirk must have picked it up from a future girlfriend and so they time warp to next week to stop him getting it.
 
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