I fear the girl in the apartment next to mine is an idiot.

[Trekker4747]

I submit the following evidence:

1. She drives a 1994 Ford Aspire.

2. She is almost constantly seen wearing pink.

3. The other night at around 11PM loud popular music could be heard through our shared wall.

4. Several beer cans and cigarette butts litter her porch.

5. This morning at around 5:30AM loud commotion/laughing of her voice and the voices of two males could be heard in the breezeway in front of our row of apartments (ours and two others.)

6. Last week an empty, crumpled, beer can remained on her front doorstep for a period of four days.

7. This week between Sunday and Wednesday a tied Target grocery bag containing unknown contents -appeared to be garbage- remained on her door step.

8. Two UPS "you have a package in the office" stickers adorne her front-door. -She's been in out of her home during this time.

9. She occasionally parks in the carport despite all of the carports being taken by residents' cars that are not hers. (She obviously parks there when those spaces are empty.)

10. The coup de grace: She has a dog. Like most dogs it occasionally needs to defecate. Said defecation deposits are not -per community rules- recovered by her. Said dog produced a particularly, shall we say... "mushy" if not "diarrhea-ic" defication last week. Said defecation was deposited onto my shoe, resulting in much gagging in an attempt to clean shoe. Observation shows that she regularly does not retrieve her dog's defecations.

So what do you think?

Is she an idiot or not?

 

[tharpdevenport]

Idiot. Also, strong possibility of being redneck trailer trash.

 

[dave_R_treker]

Idiot is too nice of a word. I'm not sure there is an appropriate word that describes her.

 

[auntiehill]

^Yeah, I'm thinking the "trailer trash" option is probably the way to go.

 

[Trekker4747]

It's a shame, though. She's quite cute.

Which leads to me that she's just a increasingly typical self-centered, brain-dead, twit.

 

[NickInABox]

Like most dogs it occasionally needs to defecate. Said deification deposits are not -per community rules- recovered by her. Said dog produced a particularly, shall we say... "mushy" if not "diarrhea-ic" deification last week. Said deification was deposited onto my shoe, resulting in much gagging in an attempt to clean shoe. Observation shows that she regularly does not retrieve her dog's deifications.

This part. I laughed for a good three minutes.

 

[Capn Flukie]

So you gonna ask her out or not?

 

[Trekker4747]

Like most dogs it occasionally needs to defecate. Said deification deposits are not -per community rules- recovered by her. Said dog produced a particularly, shall we say... "mushy" if not "diarrhea-ic" deification last week. Said deification was deposited onto my shoe, resulting in much gagging in an attempt to clean shoe. Observation shows that she regularly does not retrieve her dog's deifications.

This part. I laughed for a good three minutes.

Glad I could help.

Seriously, that shit was rank. I've smelled dog shit before. This was no normal dog-shit. Being in simple presence of this stuff was horrifying. I'm gagging just thinking about it.

 

[T'Baio]

She's cute?

Where do you live and what's her name?

 

[Trekker4747]

She's cute?

Where do you live and what's her name?

No idea what her name is.

Though, I guess I could look at those UPS slips.

 

[T'Baio]

She sounds easy.

Fuck the shit out of her.

Dude, you deserve it.

 

[Trekker4747]

She sounds easy.

Fuck the shit out of her.

Dude, you deserve it.

Can I give her a Cleveland Steamer with her own dog's defication?


Trekker, too far?

 

[tharpdevenport]

She sounds easy.

Fuck the shit out of her.

Dude, you deserve it.

NO, NO, NO! You don't even want their to be the slightest accidental chance she'll reproduce.

 

[Aragorn]

If you find out her name, maybe she has a MySpace or Facebook and you can share with us!

 

[Mike Farley]

She sounds easy.

Fuck the shit out of her.

Dude, you deserve it.

No, no, no...stupid people get attached way to easily. She'll be showing up at his door at 3am "Hi, Trekker4747, can you watch my dog for the weekend? I've decided to go to Mexico on a whim. And you, my Best Friend, are the only one I can trust with little Poopy."

 

[Trekker4747]

She sounds easy.

Fuck the shit out of her.

Dude, you deserve it.

No, no, no...stupid people get attached way to easily. She'll be showing up at his door at 3am "Hi, Trekker4747, can you watch my dog for the weekend? I've decided to go to Mexico on a whim. And you, my Best Friend, are the only one I can trust with little Poopy."

 

[Spot's Meow]

Sounds like the typical college student. In fact, it sounds exactly like my sister and her roommate. They would have parties until 5 a.m. and leave trash sitting out on the front porch for days, and always forget to pick up their packages. And of course they're obsessed with pink.

Unfortunately I had to live with them for two years. If you think the trash and poop situation is bad outside, just imagine what it is like inside. Say, in the kitchen. It was hell living with people who leave things, like trash, sitting out and seemingly forget about it for months. Don't they notice the smell, or the maggots? And then they are surprised when there are no clean dishes to use. So instead of actually doing the dishes they just go buy more or buy paper stuff to use. Their excuse was always that they didn't have time, were too busy, of course they really brought that on themselves. They would volunteer to do shit for the sorority or throw parties every weekend, neglecting all of their chores and other duties.

Anyway....my point was that you should imagine how much worse it is inside her apartment and be grateful that you aren't living in that environment!

 

[Brian]

Observation shows that she regularly does not retrieve her dog's deifications.

Her dog drops God-like shits, and she doesn't retrieve them? Wow. You should pick them up and sell them on eBay.

 

[miraclefan]

She sounds easy.

Fuck the shit out of her.

Dude, you deserve it.

NO, NO, NO! You don't even want their to be the slightest accidental chance she'll reproduce.

There is always the BACK door...if you know what I mean.

 

[Brian]

She sounds easy.

Fuck the shit out of her.

Dude, you deserve it.

NO, NO, NO! You don't even want their to be the slightest accidental chance she'll reproduce.

There is always the BACK door...if you know what I mean.

It sounds like T'Baio was already suggesting that.