I can make us rich! I just need a fat person and midget!

[Jayson]

I think I came up with a idea for a porno that has never been done before. This would give us a chance to corner a market or even invent a fetish that currently isn't being targeted by the porn industry. The name of the movie would be called "Fat person sits on midgets"

The title of the movie is pretty self-explanatory. You get a fat person who sits on a midget and masturbates. You would have the fat person sitting on the midget in varios different locals. On a bed or on couch or on car.

Even though I am fat myself I could never star in the movie. My family might see it! I can't have my mom and dad seeing me sitting on a midget, much less masturbating while sitting on a midget! I need someone who is less of a prude than I am.

If you could get me the players though I would be willing share some of the profit!


Jason

 

[Plecostomus]

Rule 34 dude. As soon as you think of it, it becomes available on Google.

 

[miraclefan]

I thought there was already a porno for that?

 

[RoJoHen]

I thought there was already a porno for that?

I have no doubt it exists somewhere.

 

[Lookingglassman]

Is the midget hot?

 

[Mallory]

Is the midget a guy?

 

[unimatrix7]

Is the midget hot?

He/she is being squished by a fat person, so even if they were hot you probably wouldn't see much of them anyway.

 

[The Boy Who Cried Worf]

This post goes a long way to explain why you have such problems in the social/sexual realm. You seem to have little understanding of the human sexual dynamic. The point of successful fetish porn is to tap into certain widespread but subconscious impulse not to simply randomly through together anything that is odd or out of the ordinary. Your business plan seems poorly thought out. What gender are the participants? Who is the video targeted to? Are we capitalizing on the fat fetish, the midget fetish, the crush video fetish, the object masturbation fetish? Fat people and midgets are common stereotypes for porn satire but really they make up an insignificant section of the fetish porn industry. This is a hack post Jason. You can do better. You have done better, Go back to the drawing board and come up with something funnier and fresher and report back in the morning.

 

[cardinal biggles]

Sorry, Jayson, but that's just not "far out" there enough to cut it. You've got the beginnings of an interesting premise, but you need to add just a little bit more to it.

A few ideas off the top of my head:

• Add an interracial component, and be sure to mix it up. One time, have a fat black person sit on an Asian midget; next time, a fat white person sits on a Latino midget.
• Appeal to all sexual orientations... you can have hetero scenes, gay and lesbian scenes, even some threesomes (those would probably work best with one fat person sitting on two midgets).
• Replace the fat person with a really big octopus or squid. Dress the midget up in a Japanese schoolgirl outfit.
• Of course, you've got to do a special video for the holidays. Fat person = Santa; midget = elf.
• Liberal use of that classic song "Yakety Sax." Especially if the midget manages to wriggle out from under the fat person and runs away.
• Replace the fat person with a horse. Dress the midget up like Catherine the Great.
• Above all, never, never, never let the Germans make any suggestions on how you can improve your films. Sorry, but fat-person-squishing-midget-scheisse-film is a bit more than the world can handle right now.

 

[miraclefan]

Sorry, Jayson, but that's just not "far out" there enough to cut it. You've got the beginnings of an interesting premise, but you need to add just a little bit more to it.

A few ideas off the top of my head:

• Add an interracial component, and be sure to mix it up. One time, have a fat black person sit on an Asian midget; next time, a fat white person sits on a Latino midget.
• Appeal to all sexual orientations... you can have hetero scenes, gay and lesbian scenes, even some threesomes (those would probably work best with one fat person sitting on two midgets).
• Replace the fat person with a really big octopus or squid. Dress the midget up in a Japanese schoolgirl outfit.
• Of course, you've got to do a special video for the holidays. Fat person = Santa; midget = elf.
• Liberal use of that classic song "Yakety Sax." Especially if the midget manages to wriggle out from under the fat person and runs away.
• Replace the fat person with a horse. Dress the midget up like Catherine the Great.
• Above all, never, never, never let the Germans make any suggestions on how you can improve your films. Sorry, but fat-person-squishing-midget-scheisse-film is a bit more than the world can handle right now.

^I love how you thru a VENTURE BROS scene in there!

 

[cardinal biggles]

I did? Which one?

 

[RJDiogenes]

You get a fat person who sits on a midget and masturbates.

This sounds like a "snuff" film.

 

[Amaris]

Time traveling Ninja monkeys who capture a race of naked Zombie midgets. The Zombie midgets bow to their overlord, a sentient cave creature named Zilknor, who gains power from the sweat glands of overweight Elvis impersonators dancing the hula in miniskirts wearing Al Jolson halloween masks. The secret of their sweat? It contains pure monkeyshine, a chemical found in the water unleashed by a tanker that was shipping Vaseline from a petroleum plant in Flint, Michigan but ran aground on what they thought was a rocky outcropping but turned out to be the steeple to the First Mormon Church of Atlantis, which sits off the coast of Bermuda but was ignored because of knockneed salmon bees who sting you and then die while swimming upstream. Anyway, these sweat droplets produce sexual powers in lesbian accountants who only file in triplicate on a Thursday afternoon after Jerry Springer but before The People's Court, causing them to order a double mocha latte. This aligns the moon to focus on the tiny island and power the cave god, who faintly resembles Raven Riley, but only from the side and only when the tide is high and depositing old glass bottles on the beach, and the only way to stop them is to perform oral sex on a Pepino melon while singing "Battle Hymn of the Republic".

Seriously, Jayson, it's so simple a cayman could do it.

J.

 

[Jim Steele]

I'm a fat guy, sign me up.

 

[ITL]

Time traveling Ninja monkeys who capture a race of naked Zombie midgets. The Zombie midgets bow to their overlord, a sentient cave creature named Zilknor, who gains power from the sweat glands of overweight Elvis impersonators dancing the hula in miniskirts wearing Al Jolson halloween masks. The secret of their sweat? It contains pure monkeyshine, a chemical found in the water that was shipped from a Vaseline Petroleum plant in Flint, Michigan but ran aground on what they thought was a rocky outcropping but turned out to be the steeple to the First Mormon Church of Atlantis, which sits off the coast of Bermuda but was ignored because of knockneed salmon bees who sting you and then die while swimming upstream. Anyway, these sweat droplets produce sexual powers in lesbian accountants who only file in triplicate on a Thursday afternoon after Jerry Springer, but before The People's Court. This aligns the moon to focus on the tiny island and power the cave god, who faintly resembles Raven Riley, but only from the side and only when the tide is high and depositing old glass bottles on the beach, and the only way to stop them is to perform oral sex on a Pepino melon while singing "Battle Hymn of the Republic".

Seriously, Jayson, it's so simple a cayman could do it.

J.

STOP STEALING MY MIND-THINKINGS THAT I HAVEN'T WRITTED DOWN YET!

I mean...that's literally word for word...sheesh...

 

[gwud]

Four words...Magic Midget Monkey Porn.

Go!

 

[cardinal biggles]

^And if that doesn't pan out, you can probably just drop the word "porn" and have the idea for next year's version of Power Rangers.

 

[USS Triumphant]

Jayson, I hate to tell you this, but just a cursory Google Video search for 'fat midget porn' with SafeSearch off tells me that your idea is not new.

Do they make Lysol that you can spray directly on the brain?

 

[Amaris]

STOP STEALING MY MIND-THINKINGS THAT I HAVEN'T WRITTED DOWN YET!

I mean...that's literally word for word...sheesh...

Just because we're connected at the lobes doesn't mean you have to yell.

Jayson, I hate to tell you this, but just a cursory Google Video search for 'fat midget porn' with SafeSearch off tells me that your idea is not new.

Do they make Lysol that you can spray directly on the brain?

I'm trying, but right now all it does is make you forget your name and make you smell pine fresh.

J.

 

[cardinal biggles]

Jayson, I hate to tell you this, but just a cursory Google Video search for 'fat midget porn' with SafeSearch off tells me that your idea is not new.

But did you get fat people having sex with midgets, or did you just get fat midgets having sex? There is a difference...