*TAS* Caption Contest 006: Hold Me, Touch Me

[Maurice]

As with last time, this first post will be the winners, and the second post will contain the captionable images for this week, making it easier for y'all to punch QUOTE and have at it.

So, without further ado...

First up, Mistral explains why Sinestro's been seen hanging around the hangar deck...

The Green Lantern was thwarted by Evil Kirk's yellow shirt.

Next, cooleddie74 wins again, dammit!

Spock jumped the shark...by riding the sehlat.

Finally, The Laughing Vulcan channels Marley (or maybe Clapton) with an entry that could make even Sarek snicker...assuming he was hip and with it...

I shot the starship, but I did not shoot the shuttlecraft.

And let's not forget the...

***** Honorable Mentions of the Week *****
​

"C-9. Hit. You Phasered my Battleship!"

OFFICER MOTEL

Captains beam in. They don't beam out.

*TAS* Caption Contest Pantheon of Winners

Cakes488
cooleddie74 (x3)
middyseafort (x2)
The Laughing Vulcan
Mistral (x2)
Mysterion
Outpost4
Rat Boy
Shatmandu (x2)
TigerOfDarkness

Honorable Mentions
Alrik
cooleddie74 (x3)
John Picard
The Laughing Vulcan
Mistral
TigerOfDarkness

And next message: our new contest!

​

 

[Maurice]

Everyone's feeling a little physical this week. I know your captions will either do me proud or shame me forever. Why do I suspect the latter?

 

[Bad Atom]

"Do I detect a hint of lilac?"

The Lactrans liked the new action figures, but the lack of accessories was a real disappointment.

[insert tired 'gay Sulu' joke here]

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Marley and Me won one! Yay!

"That Rand has a fine ass, doesn't she? I can get you a piece, if the price is right."

Kirk: "It grabbed me with its testicle!"
Spock: "I think you mean tentacle, Captain."
McCoy: "You guys, that wasn't funny on Red Dwarf, it's even less funny here."

Sulu: "Do I make you horny, baby?"

 

[Rat Boy]

Turns out Klingons are immune to weed.

Kirk: "I knew we should have taken that left turn at Albuquerque."

McCoy: "Jim, look outside for a minute. We are in Albuquerque."

Lucian: "Who do you think you're fooling, Sulu?"

 

[Kirby]

Spock: Hey, either of you brothas' seen Carl around here?

"... And as we continue the tour, if you look to your left, you'll see some native cacti. Next we'll be heading upstairs to the library."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Spock: Jim and I would like to invite you two back to his Deck 5 cabin for a little "painstick" challenge.

Alien One: <<alien language>>
Spock: I don't think this bodes well for us, Captain. If I am understanding their lang--
McCoy: Blast it, Spock. Don't beat around the bush!
Spock: Toilet paper, Doctor. They mean to use us as toilet paper.

Sulu: Trannies, centaurs, and homosexuals... oh, my!

 

[Captain Crow]

Spock: Yous guys ares beautifuls ya know that. (HIC!)

Klingon on left: Dude your wasted.

Spock: No ne no no nooooo I'm nots! (HIC!)

Klingon on right: I'm calling a taxi to take you home.

Spock: I'mmmmmm alls right. (HIC!) I cans drrrrrives. (HIC!)

Sulu: Oh my, I guess dreams really do come true.

 

[Rat Boy]

 

[cooleddie74]

"They're gay twins from Korvat Colony.

And they will buy you ANY DRINK you want...so long as they get to cop a feel."

KIRK:"Note to self:

No more shore leaves on planets dominated by massive inverterbrates immune to salt shakers."

"My birthday...

How did you guys REMEMBER?!?!?!?"

 

[Shatmandu]

Not every humanoid species has its nipples in the same place.

 

[cooleddie74]

"It's my pon farr...

And they promised they'd double my pleasure...double my fun...with double honorable, double strong Imperial Cum."

 

[Captain Crow]

Dr Zoidberg's family were not amused when "Mr. Fancy Shamancy Federation" Kirk refused to pay for dinner.

 

[cooleddie74]

Spock not only came out of the closet...he came out of the SPECIES.

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "Spock, on these things, do you see any type of vagina?"
Spock: "Please stay focused, Captain ..."

 

[cooleddie74]

Eating the worm after drinking took on a WHOLE new and frightening meaning on Vega Omicron VI.

 

[Mysterion]

SPOCK: I'm Moe, you knuckleheads! Hahahahaha!

(Eventually even the Klingons eventually grew tired of Spock's endless "Three Stooges" impersonations.)

 

[Captain Crow]

Spock: Can I have one of these lemon Jolly Ranchers stuck to your shirts?

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "Next time, I arrange the prostitutes."
Spock, dejected: "Yes, Captain."

 

[Rat Boy]

Sulu: "Not cool!"