Job Interviews Of Fail: This Time I'm On The Other Side Of The Desk..

[Hoser]

Re: Job Interviews Of Fail: This Time I'm On The Other Side Of The De

Only catch is you have to make quota, and not make much scrap. We're very picky about both of those conditions as that keeps our costs down. 'tis why we have two openings all of a sudden.

I'm a high production/low scrap freak. If the bottom falls out of the auto industry, I will knock on your door, and ask for seafood bake.

 

[Gary Mitchell]

Re: Job Interviews Of Fail: This Time I'm On The Other Side Of The De

-- One man referred to himself in the third person the entire interview. "John Baker does things right the first time and every time. John Baker knows who's in charge. John Baker looks for solutions rather than letting things slide."

John Baker can go fuck himself.

-

 

[Captain Ice]

Re: Job Interviews Of Fail: This Time I'm On The Other Side Of The De

^

Careful, he's got a gun...

 

[jamestyler]

Re: Job Interviews Of Fail: This Time I'm On The Other Side Of The De

-- The best was a guy who had a multi-year gap in his employment history. Turns out he had been in prison, which wouldn't necessarily have been a deal breaker. But then he said:

"They said I stabbed a guy sixteen times, but that was bullshit: I stabbed him eight times, I just had two knives in my hand. It was bullshit."

If I start writing again... I may have to steal this Thats the kind of logic I love to hear.

There was an interview I was at years ago, not one I was conducting, but they did the whole group interview thing at the start with some team building nonsense usually reserved for training. Tell us something interesting, tell us your last job, tell us a secret...

The secrets range from silly to funny to pointless. There was a middle aged guy with bleached to death hair, wannabe superstar DJ type. When it was his turn for the secret telling he grinned and said "I'm stoned oot ma nut right now. I never go anywhere withoot a joint."

And he got the job.

 

[JoeZhang]

Re: Job Interviews Of Fail: This Time I'm On The Other Side Of The De

If I start writing again... I may have to steal this Thats the kind of logic I love to hear.

There was an interview I was at years ago, not one I was conducting, but they did the whole group interview thing at the start with some team building nonsense usually reserved for training. Tell us something interesting, tell us your last job, tell us a secret...

The secrets range from silly to funny to pointless. There was a middle aged guy with bleached to death hair, wannabe superstar DJ type. When it was his turn for the secret telling he grinned and said "I'm stoned oot ma nut right now. I never go anywhere withoot a joint."

And he got the job.

One of the last jobs I ever applied for - we had to do those team interviews and team building exercise bollocks, which I thought was odd for a senior position. About 30 minutes in, I thought "fuck this for a game of soldiers" and told the interviewers that I thought they were looking for serious experienced professionals not people who liked to play silly games and that there was no point carrying on as I clearly wasn't the right fit for the organisation.

The next day, I was asked to go in for a separate interview, told that "it was the idea of those wankers in HRM" and offered the job.

 

[John Picard]

Re: Job Interviews Of Fail: This Time I'm On The Other Side Of The De

^^ Keep tabs of that, and someday, when some news periodical is looking for interviewer stories you can send them a load of terrific fodder. I *love it* when job applicants issue demands in an interview.

Seems to me that if these people hadn't been older you'd be attributing their bad attitudes to "young people's sense of entitlement"

Ahh baby boomers, they wrote the book on entitlement.

Don't even get me started in the snively, whiny Baby Boomers The latter part of your statement is very, very spot-on, though.

 

[RevDMV]

Re: Job Interviews Of Fail: This Time I'm On The Other Side Of The De

Only catch is you have to make quota, and not make much scrap. We're very picky about both of those conditions as that keeps our costs down. 'tis why we have two openings all of a sudden.

I'm a high production/low scrap freak. If the bottom falls out of the auto industry, I will knock on your door, and ask for seafood bake.

If?


Best advice yet, listen to the question, answer the question asked. Don't over talk.

 

[Triskelion]

Re: Job Interviews Of Fail: This Time I'm On The Other Side Of The De

Some people are on unemployment and have to show that they are "interviewing", with no real intention of getting off the gub-teat.

Man, I'm teaching the wrong things in my interview classes. I always cover topics like answering techniques and overcoming communication barriers in international companies, compensation negotiation and career development. Clearly I'm neglecting cabbage-fart and stabbing issues.

 

[Plecostomus]

Re: Job Interviews Of Fail: This Time I'm On The Other Side Of The De

One of the production slots is filled now.

THIS IS HOW YOU INTERVIEW FOR A JOB!

The woman came in, talked to the Front Desk Lady for about 20 min about everything and nothing. Then Production Boss came in and talked to her for 15 min, and invited her in to talk to me as Fab Shop and Production overlap. We talked about machine safety, following procedures (i.e. NOT MESSING WITH THE HEAT CONTROL among other things.) and the importance of keeping cutting tools sharp. She said she didn't know how to sharpen but was willing to learn.

Then we took her out and introduced her to the folks she'll be working with and showed her a couple of machines.

Took her back in the office, sat her down made her an offer.

She starts tomorrow.

And no she's not some hot young sweet-smelling boobatar (THAT HAPPENED ONE TIME GEEZE STOP BRINGING IT UP!) but an older lady in her 40s.

One down two to go. If I get any "lively" ones I'll post here.

 

[Guartho]

Re: Job Interviews Of Fail: This Time I'm On The Other Side Of The De

I'm glad you've found a good employee, but saddened that the fodder for this thread will suffer a drop.

 

[backstept]

Re: Job Interviews Of Fail: This Time I'm On The Other Side Of The De

hey, fewer spots to fill mean more COMPUHTISHOHN-UH!

(that's 'competition' as read by Vince McMahon)

 

[ancientone51]

Re: Job Interviews Of Fail: This Time I'm On The Other Side Of The De

May have to copy some of this thread for my class section on Job Interviewing. My high schoolers sound like some of these folk.

 

[Plecostomus]

Re: Job Interviews Of Fail: This Time I'm On The Other Side Of The De

Had three interviews today, no major hijinx just nothing that represents a good fit for the position.

 

[ThunderAeroI]

Re: Job Interviews Of Fail: This Time I'm On The Other Side Of The De

Every year I interview for at least five positions. They are rather low skill positions maily grass mowing and general maintenance. In the course of filling those positions I will interview countless applicants which feel that:

a). I'm too young for my job (30)
b). I pay too little (over $9.00 to drive a mower?)
c). They are awesome (they are not)
d). they know someone, who knows someone, who will get them the job anyway

of those D annoyes me to no end. Never has it ever happend that someone said that and I was forced to hrie the person. In fact, as soon as I hear that I tune out and think about other things while they ramble. I am used to hearing a, I hear it alot. I find B somewhat insulting, that they feel someone should be paid over 4 dollars minimum wage to drive a lawnmower. Usually C is them being too "I can do this, that, this over thing". It may be good to say in an interview for someone else, but I dont like people who think their the sheet, or talk endley about them selves.

As for me, when I have applied for work I hear this "You look great on paper". And I think to my INTJ self, what the hell does that even mean, seriously? Am I ugly?

Oh and another story about employment, How many times do you have to apply for the same position and not get it that you figure there is no point in applying for it again? 1,2,3, 10, 20?

 

[troisboobs]

Re: Job Interviews Of Fail: This Time I'm On The Other Side Of The De

This thread made me feel better about myself. Maybe I WILL actually get a job when I graduate, considering I'm not an idiot like these guys. Thanks for sharing, very entertaining

 

[John Picard]

Re: Job Interviews Of Fail: This Time I'm On The Other Side Of The De

This thread made me feel better about myself. Maybe I WILL actually get a job when I graduate, considering I'm not an idiot like these guys. Thanks for sharing, very entertaining

'
Ah, but you haven't taken into consideration should you have to interview with some HR idiot. I have stories to tell of that

 

[freak]

Re: Job Interviews Of Fail: This Time I'm On The Other Side Of The De

All I can say to this is HOLY SHIT! This baffles me! Some people can be so damned complicated in job interviews!!!
I have one coming up on Monday and I would never, EVER act this way in an interview as I know it is the WRONG way to start an interview. NEVER take over an interview or threaten the business. It's like whiping before you poop, it don't make sense! !!!!!!!!

 

[Brolan]

Re: Job Interviews Of Fail: This Time I'm On The Other Side Of The De

This thread made me feel better about myself. Maybe I WILL actually get a job when I graduate, considering I'm not an idiot like these guys. Thanks for sharing, very entertaining

'
Ah, but you haven't taken into consideration should you have to interview with some HR idiot. I have stories to tell of that

Please do!

 

[John Picard]

Re: Job Interviews Of Fail: This Time I'm On The Other Side Of The De

^^ Went to an interview for a programming position and had to interview with HR. HR lady is asking questions such as name, address, work eligibility in the US (gets a copy of my license and SSN card) and then is asking what I currently earn. I tell her that it isn't relevant to the interview and that I don't discuss my salary with anyone. She is persistent and keeps pushing. I tell her I'm not disclosing it and she gets snitty, telling me either I disclose my salary or she won't let me interview for the job. Too bad that's when I was young and didn't know any better, because I ended up telling her. These days, I'd stand my ground or even grab all of the information she'd gathered on me and walk out the door. I had a friend who was a job recruiter who told me they're not supposed to be doing that and to never let anyone do that to me in the future.

HR interviews are a crock anyway. They are nothing more than cattle herders and don't know jack about the position you're seeking.

 

[SeerSGB]

Re: Job Interviews Of Fail: This Time I'm On The Other Side Of The De

^^ Went to an interview for a programming position and had to interview with HR. HR lady is asking questions such as name, address, work eligibility in the US (gets a copy of my license and SSN card) and then is asking what I currently earn. I tell her that it isn't relevant to the interview and that I don't discuss my salary with anyone. She is persistent and keeps pushing. I tell her I'm not disclosing it and she gets snitty, telling me either I disclose my salary or she won't let me interview for the job. Too bad that's when I was young and didn't know any better, because I ended up telling her. These days, I'd stand my ground or even grab all of the information she'd gathered on me and walk out the door. I had a friend who was a job recruiter who told me they're not supposed to be doing that and to never let anyone do that to me in the future.

HR interviews are a crock anyway. They are nothing more than cattle herders and don't know jack about the position you're seeking.

Christ, I hated when HR people did that shit. That's why I didn't do it when I had to do a interview on someone.

A lot times my contracts-- even charity stuff-- would bind me to a non disclosure agreement on the details of the projects; which, of course, would include pay. I can't count how many jobs I ended up missing out on cause I wouldn't tell how much I made on a contract and the interviewers either didn't get or refused to accept "I'm contractually bound not to tell you."

Hell, I had a lead call me up (something set up by a former client) that got pissed when I wouldn't tell how much I charged said client cause "Well, I don't want to find out I'm paying more than [the client that referred him] is." Totally ignoring that they were wholly different projects and that his [the lead] was much larger and more time and labor intensive project.