"GENESIS?!?!?
Why mention you plot device and point that is not to happen for another 16 years?!?! Is foreshadowing FORBIDDEN!!"
*TAS* Caption Contest 003: Quality is Job One...of many...
- Thread starter Maurice
- Start date
"GENESIS?!?!?
Why mention you plot device and point that is not to happen for another 16 years?!?! Is foreshadowing FORBIDDEN!!"
In an effort to improve personal locomotion within the ship.....Kirk realized that it was impractical and really just plain old dumb to mandate all personnel to wear rollerblades.
Spock hoped with is unibrow now fully grown in it would repel Christine's unwanted advances.
*MUSICE BLARING* Come on baby....let's do the twist!
Whoever the guy is standing next to Spock thought that he would boycott future "sock hop on the bridge" nights.
Sulu let out a satisfied sigh after he finished pleasuring himself under his half console....he realized that he took his "hand off the helm" and lost control a smidge. As a result Spock and some guy he didn't know that was standing next to him took a minor tumble on the bridge. This was one time that Sulu was grateful his penis was so small as that fact allowed nobody to see his indescretion....or did they?
The guy standing next to Spock: Hey helmsmen...what the hell are you doing over there.....? Jerking off for Christs sake??? Oh never mind that's just a little yellow pencil ya got there....is it a number 2?
Sulu: Well I like it up the number 2 if that's what you're implying....
Spock: That will be quite enough gentlemen.
Sulu thought he looked so good animated that he did some unspeakable things with and to his own paper image. It shamed him whenever he thought of it but couldn't wait to get home each day to do it again.
Yeah, Sure, Right, I can't believe they think I'm reading star charts with this thing !!!!! The fools!
Due to the great recession of 09' StarFleet had to cut corners here and there...and Sulu realized they meant that quite literally as he sat down at his console.
Sulu: Kang you have such faaaaaaaaaaabulous wallpaper darling, and I know because I picked up the very same pattern at cabin, bath, and beyond last week!
Kang: Really??? You like it ?? You're not just saying that?? I kind of thought the colors clashed with the rest of the bridge's decor.
Sulu: Oh no! It looks marvelous darling and I have the exact same color scheme in my cabin...come on I'll take you "below deck" and I'll show you the ALL the colors of the rainbow honey.
The whole bridge collectively groaned and broke out the "customary raincoats" when Kang started up his old Gallagher routine.
The crew was much happier when he segued into his Andy Kaufman impression.
Spock: The inertial dampeners are offline.
McCoy: I know that, Spock.
Spock: Why are you wearing the Captain's shirt?
McCoy: I have relieved him of duty. He was rambling on about not being able to go to the moon in June.
Spock: I see. However, I am second in command on this vessel, Dr. McCoy. In a case such as this, I should---
McCoy: Shut up.
BOOM... RED ALERT KLAXON...
Spock: No. The captain left you in charge and gave you a gold shirt. By regulation, only he can relieve you.
McCoy: Blast it, Spock! He was only trying to teach me a smug lesson.
Spock: Perhaps, you should have thought about that before providing a critique of his command style.
Spock: No. The captain left you in charge and gave you a gold shirt. By regulation, only he can relieve you.
McCoy: Blast it, Spock! He was only trying to teach me a smug lesson.
Spock: Perhaps, you should have thought about that before providing a critique of his command style.
You won't outdo me on Silly Walk Day you green-blooded hobgoblin!
Kang; "<sigh> One moment Captain Kirk... Kang to transporter room, you p'taks!"
Koloth: "Do I even look like Kang? Kang wasn't even on this show!"
Kirk: Don't all Klingons look alike?
"Your comments about Klingons are RACIST, Kirk. If I weren't planning on blowing you and your ship out of the stars...I'd lodge a complaint with the Federation Council!!"
Koloth: "Do I even look like Kang? Kang wasn't even on this show!"
Kirk: Don't all Klingons look alike?
Kuri (off camera): "I resent that!"
"You Earthers hung a rare and priceless Picasso over your viewscreen?
WHY?!?"
I want to convert the cargo bay into a bedroom but Marsha insists we share it! Marsha Marsha Marsha!