I am ranting again. Sorry. You guys are my new favorite outlet.
I went for a doc's appointment today, mostly to get a referral to see an endocrinologist about my type 1 diabetes, but also to ask why my hair is falling out, and why I've gained 10lbs in a month without changing my diet or exercise habits. I think I know the answers to these questions: telogen effluvium is likely the cause of my hair loss, which is temporary and due to my recent brush with DKA, and my increased insulin dosage is the likely culprit behind my weight gain. Still, I wanted to ask the doc about it to be sure. I was expecting today not to solve any problems, but at least make them easier to bear. Instead, I'm more exhausted and frustrated than before.
First I saw the nurse, a ridiculous woman who tried to give me some pointers on eating to help control my diabetes. She recommended I eat 5 or 6 small meals a day to even out the rate at which my pancreas produces insulin. I told her that I'm a type 1 diabetic, not a type 2 diabetic, and my pancreas does not produce insulin. She continued to tell me that, no, no, eating smaller meals will help it to produce enough insulin. So I told her again that I am a type 1 diabetic whose body is incapable of producing any insulin. I don't know if it was the language barrier (Russian was her native tongue), but it took me four times saying it before she actually listened to what I was telling her and said, "OH! You take insulin? Then maybe not the many meals during the day?" No. Maybe not. "But you should eat grapefruits!" she informed me with gusto.
She also had me fill out a depression chart -- and I'm really depressed, I know it. Next to written statements like "I feel like I am a disappointment and that I let down my family and friends," "I have trouble sleeping or I sleep to much," "I sometimes feel I'd be better off dead," there are ratings: Never, some days, Many days, Nearly every day. I filled it out honestly, checking Nearly every day for everything but the suicide statement. The nurse looked at it and told me that I oughtn't worry because God is watching.
Eat grapefruit and remember that Jesus Loves Me. Unfortunately, the doctor wasn't much more helpful.
The doctor spent the first half of my appointment trying to explain to me how to control my blood sugar, despite my explaining that I've been controlling my blood sugar just fine since I was 12 years old. Then, when I asked her about my hair and weight gain she simply said I should ask the endocrinologist when I see him/her. I was kind of annoyed that she didn't take any interest in my problems (no one listens to me!), but fair enough, I was mostly there for the referral anyway. She writes me the referral, I make the soonest appointment. Guess, just guess when the next available appointment for an endocrinologist is. You won't be able to do it!
Fabruary 2nd 2010.
What the fuck am I supposed to do? I just don't know anymore. I'm so depressed I can barely make it to work. I overslept till 3pm yesterday, without even the tiniest realization of the time passing. Now for the second time I'm opening a whining, venting thread...something not really in my nature to do, but I just need to say it as many times as I can, as if saying it will allow some of the anger and frustration, and some of the experience itself to pour out of me with the words. But I don't think it's helping. I just want to give up.
I went for a doc's appointment today, mostly to get a referral to see an endocrinologist about my type 1 diabetes, but also to ask why my hair is falling out, and why I've gained 10lbs in a month without changing my diet or exercise habits. I think I know the answers to these questions: telogen effluvium is likely the cause of my hair loss, which is temporary and due to my recent brush with DKA, and my increased insulin dosage is the likely culprit behind my weight gain. Still, I wanted to ask the doc about it to be sure. I was expecting today not to solve any problems, but at least make them easier to bear. Instead, I'm more exhausted and frustrated than before.
First I saw the nurse, a ridiculous woman who tried to give me some pointers on eating to help control my diabetes. She recommended I eat 5 or 6 small meals a day to even out the rate at which my pancreas produces insulin. I told her that I'm a type 1 diabetic, not a type 2 diabetic, and my pancreas does not produce insulin. She continued to tell me that, no, no, eating smaller meals will help it to produce enough insulin. So I told her again that I am a type 1 diabetic whose body is incapable of producing any insulin. I don't know if it was the language barrier (Russian was her native tongue), but it took me four times saying it before she actually listened to what I was telling her and said, "OH! You take insulin? Then maybe not the many meals during the day?" No. Maybe not. "But you should eat grapefruits!" she informed me with gusto.
She also had me fill out a depression chart -- and I'm really depressed, I know it. Next to written statements like "I feel like I am a disappointment and that I let down my family and friends," "I have trouble sleeping or I sleep to much," "I sometimes feel I'd be better off dead," there are ratings: Never, some days, Many days, Nearly every day. I filled it out honestly, checking Nearly every day for everything but the suicide statement. The nurse looked at it and told me that I oughtn't worry because God is watching.
Eat grapefruit and remember that Jesus Loves Me. Unfortunately, the doctor wasn't much more helpful.
The doctor spent the first half of my appointment trying to explain to me how to control my blood sugar, despite my explaining that I've been controlling my blood sugar just fine since I was 12 years old. Then, when I asked her about my hair and weight gain she simply said I should ask the endocrinologist when I see him/her. I was kind of annoyed that she didn't take any interest in my problems (no one listens to me!), but fair enough, I was mostly there for the referral anyway. She writes me the referral, I make the soonest appointment. Guess, just guess when the next available appointment for an endocrinologist is. You won't be able to do it!
Fabruary 2nd 2010.
What the fuck am I supposed to do? I just don't know anymore. I'm so depressed I can barely make it to work. I overslept till 3pm yesterday, without even the tiniest realization of the time passing. Now for the second time I'm opening a whining, venting thread...something not really in my nature to do, but I just need to say it as many times as I can, as if saying it will allow some of the anger and frustration, and some of the experience itself to pour out of me with the words. But I don't think it's helping. I just want to give up.
) and doctor there (the doctor ought to have understood your problems better too). I don't know the US system much, but here, if you have a good relationship with your endocrinologist (or any other specialist you see often), they'll very often let you contact them directly (usually via their secretary, especially if it's a good secretary with some medical insight) if you have problems. Very often one might be able to get a quick appointment in weeks, if not days, or sooner if it's a more pressing matter.
Things aren't run like they used to be. A&E do just fine, it's all their non-urgent services that have the problems. Whether its loosing track of people who are in the system, absurd waiting lists, or just plain incompetency. 
