I finally named my penis...

[T'Baio]

It took a long time, but a month ago, I decided to call him "Conan."

Not as in "the barbarian," but as in "the late night talk show host."

Now that I've named him, I can finally give him some attention. You see, he was the victim of neglect - up until a month ago, when he was rescued, he had rarely left a cage, been petted, or interacted with. I say rarely because I don't feel I can honestly say never, but he acts like never. If you sit him in your lap, he will lay down as small as possible against you.

I hope he starts to become friendlier now that I have something to call him.

 

[Gary Mitchell]

Is it possible to "unread" something?

 

[RoJoHen]

^I'm fairly certain that it isn't.

 

[Gertch]

You have no idea how glad I am we cannot have serious discussions in here. I would have totally missed out on this. Can we have another masturbation thread while we're at it please?

 

[RoJoHen]

You have no idea how glad I am we cannot have serious discussions in here. I would have totally missed out on this. Can we have another masturbation thread while we're at it please?

I honestly cannot tell if you're being sarcastic or not, and I like the ambiguity.

 

[Trekker4747]

It took a long time, but a month ago, I decided to call him "Conan."

Not as in "the barbarian," but as in "the late night talk show host."

Now that I've named him, I can finally give him some attention. You see, he was the victim of neglect - up until a month ago, when he was rescued, he had rarely left a cage, been petted, or interacted with. I say rarely because I don't feel I can honestly say never, but he acts like never. If you sit him in your lap, he will lay down as small as possible against you.

I hope he starts to become friendlier now that I have something to call him.

Was this before or after you tore your uretha?

Mine is named Ted. He's steady, reliable, but not all that impressive. Just is.

 

[Obiwanshinobi]

why not call him, Charles, from your show, Charles in Charge. Or better yet his faithful companion, Buddy?

I think I'll call mine, Spanky!

 

[Aragorn]

Wait a second, this ISN'T a Jayson thread???

 

[nevermore]

Not as in "the barbarian," but as in "the late night talk show host."

I assume this is because he's skinny, has a shock of red hair and self esteem issues?

 

[cultcross]

I figured I'd regret clicking this thread.





I was right.

 

[JonathonWally]

Not as in "the barbarian," but as in "the late night talk show host."

I assume this is because he's skinny, has a shock of red hair and self esteem issues?

Ouch

 

[All Seeing Eye]

It took a long time, but a month ago, I decided to call him "Conan."

Not as in "the barbarian," but as in "the late night talk show host."

Now that I've named him, I can finally give him some attention. You see, he was the victim of neglect - up until a month ago, when he was rescued, he had rarely left a cage, been petted, or interacted with. I say rarely because I don't feel I can honestly say never, but he acts like never. If you sit him in your lap, he will lay down as small as possible against you.

I hope he starts to become friendlier now that I have something to call him.

If you had said Cock in the title instead of Penis this thread would have been a winner.

 

[T'Baio]

Conan just shrank for the second time! I had to give him a rub, and he lost about 3 ounces! I was pumped. Now he is laying with me in my chair. Or rather, I put him there, and he is there. He's not really laying, sitting, or... I can't explain what he's doing!

 

[Kira's Mom]

Whyohwhyohwhy did I click on this thread?

 

[PKTrekGirl]

Now that I've named him, I can finally give him some attention. You see, he was the victim of neglect

Sorry, but I'm not buyin' this remark at all.

This from the guy who, four or five years ago informed me that he'd nicknamed his girlfriend "Deep Space Nine".

 

[Obiwanshinobi]

Name him (or her) Dave Coulier's package!

 

[Gertch]

Conan just shrank for the second time! I had to give him a rub, and he lost about 3 ounces! I was pumped. Now he is laying with me in my chair. Or rather, I put him there, and he is there. He's not really laying, sitting, or... I can't explain what he's doing!

Seems like good a time as any for the classic song...

Edit: Whoops, I only heard the song never seen the video. The end might not be safe for work.

 

[T'Baio]

Not as in "the barbarian," but as in "the late night talk show host."

I assume this is because he's skinny, has a shock of red hair and self esteem issues?

He's a miniature - the smallest miniature I've had, but a miniature.

 

[LaxScrutiny]

Mine is named "Dick Cock McFucker."

 

[Capn Flukie]

Not as in "the barbarian," but as in "the late night talk show host."

I assume this is because he's skinny, has a shock of red hair and self esteem issues?

I thought it was because he's a masturbating bear. ???