My Hair Is Falling Out

[Venardhi]

I've been dealing with a slowly thinning scalp the last few years, and while I'm a guy and in theory can just shave it and get away with it, it still nags at me every day. To go from thick and stylable locks to what is essentially just a veneer of short and uncompromising hair is painful and ego-disolving. Worse, I know it will never come back.

I've tended towards hats the last year or so, and found a few that look good on me, I know you have a few of your own so that is a good option until it grows back. For some reason my hair is increasingly very coarse and hard to do much with, so I generally just have to wash it every morning and blow dry it for the illusion of volume. It is really hard to say what to do for your own issues.

A female friend of mine has inherited baldness and her mother has a rather large bald spot on her head, at least comfort yourself with the fact that yours is temporary and probably not nearly as blatant as theirs. You're a good looking woman, and you might be surprised how rarely someone looks at your scalp.

It may be worse for you socially, and I absolutely empathize with the stress and emotional pain, but like JB said above, please don't imagine for a moment that just cause some guys shave their head willingly or look good bald that all of us are so readily accepting. I know one day I won't be able to hide it, but I'm gonna fight it tooth and nail for every last day I can pretend it is all still there.

 

[Moocey]

^I disagree. I know it's hard for men to lose hair, but I guarantee it's harder for women. If a bald man passes by the average person doesn't have a second thought. If a bald woman passes by it's a completely different story.

Maybe I shouldn't have even posted this. I just felt the need to vent. I already feel shitty enough, I don't need people telling me that hair loss for women isn't more painful than it is for men.

It's obviously common sense that hair loss is harder for women than men. And it's a shame that you're losing your hair. I've seen the pics you've posted here and you're hawt.

 

[JuanBolio]

It's obviously common sense that hair loss is harder for women than men.

This is like saying that abdominal cramping or hormone-induced mood swings are harder on men than women. Its hard on ANYONE. Its just more common in men. On the upside, hardly any women lose the same amount of hair as men do, short of chemotherapy patients. I'm sure you'll be fine, TSQ, whatever you decide to do about it, if anything. Your hair is far from your only asset - you're beautiful, intelligent, funny, and a Star Trek fan.

Hope you feel better about it soon.

 

[Ruaidhri]

It's obviously common sense that hair loss is harder for women than men.

This is like saying that abdominal cramping or hormone-induced mood swings are harder on men than women. Its hard on ANYONE. Its just more common in men.

It's not just more common in men, it's tremendously more common in men. Which is why it's more difficult on women.

Is it hard for a guy to lose his hair? Sure, no one is denying that. But there is a measure of acceptance that, yeah, there are bald men out there and it's just a hard fact of life.

The social acceptance of a woman with no hair is just about nil.

So can we quit with the rationalizing and just give tsq the support she was seeking?

 

[Tim]

^I disagree. I know it's hard for men to lose hair, but I guarantee it's harder for women. If a bald man passes by the average person doesn't have a second thought. If a bald woman passes by it's a completely different story.

Yep. Rightly or wrongly, it's hair loss in women is social anathema. That said, tsq, you know what the trouble is and you are working to fix it. Think of it as only a temporary problem. For the time being, consider it an excuse to wear some more of your cool hats!

 

[Holdfast]

Sorry to hear about the hair loss. I leave it to you & your doc to talk about causes and recovery times, but the bottom line good news is that all else being equal, if it's just telogen effluvium from the stress of DKA, it should come back in time.

In the meantime, venting helps, and think of this as an opportunity to try out a variety of new hats.

 

[captcalhoun]

you're a beautiful woman, TSQ. You're funny, intelligent, lovely to chat to and you have incredible style. you'd look fab-u-lous with or without hair.

you're great. remember what you posted in the awesome thread. you're awesome.

feel free to vent to me any time you like. we all need an outlet after all.

and remember, YOU'RE AWESOME!


(positive and boosting enough?)

 

[RJDiogenes]

And everyone always comments on how happy I am -- how I go through everything with a smile, how I never complain. Well I'm sick of it. And I don't want to lose my hair.

Don't worry, you won't.

But also don't worry about venting, or being upset, or being sick and tired of all the bad things that have happened to you. You deserve to express your feelings. You are a remarkable person who has dealt with many hardships and setbacks with amazing grace; you are incredibly intelligent, creative, talented, literate, caring and funny. You are a true rugged individualist who lives in this world on your own terms and has not let custom or culture define you. Frankly, it gives me comfort and optimism for the future just knowing that someone like you exists out there.

So go ahead and be angry and frustrated. It's justified and you deserve it. And then go back to appreciating life and going through everything with a smile, because that's who tsq is.

 

[An Officer]

Sorry to hear that you are so upset TSQ, I really sympathise and hope you get through this quickly.

Something similar happened to my mum at least a couple of times - the thinning of her hair was due to an under-active thyroid. Each time, she was extremely upset, and each time, it righted itself back to normal again within a few weeks... so don't panic, do not imagine the worst before it's happened. This is something that will likely go away as quickly as it came. Calm down and try to do something nice for yourself to forget about it (read the feel good movies thread )... Your hair issue has a rational explanation, which is your hospitalisation, it seems to me your hair will regrow if you give it a chance.

When my mother used to show me her hair, I really couldn't see what she was talking about to be honest... people will never look at you as carefully as you look at yourself - no one will notice any difference. You are gorgeous, don't let a simple, temporary thing devastate you like this - MUCH worse things happen to people everyday. When I feel bad, I try to list all the good things which have happened to me - it's much better for you to list that then the bad things which have. I'm serious about this. Sit and write a physical list. You'll feel wonderful before you've finished, you have no reason not to.

Wishing you all the best.

 

[cultcross]

Join a hair club

I don't know if I'm wrong, but I can't really see any way to interpret this but as a snide remark, and honestly, how dare you? Why do you see the need to come into this thread and make a rude remark to some one who is obviously having a hard time? What purpose does it serve?

Firstly, you're not wrong, it's lookingglassman. In the Place That Shall Not Be Named he just started a thread laughing at hostages being executed.
Pay him no heed.

I'm very sorry to hear about your worries- I know it's a bit of a different reason, but people close to me have gone through similar, chemotherapy related, in the last year or two, and I know it can be devastating.
I also agree that it's worse for women than men - I'm balding verrrry slowly at the moment, kind like a retreating waterfall; will undoubtedly both continue and speed up. But I'm OK with that - being a guy I can shave my hair very short and then no-one really notices. Hair, for right or wrong, is much more a part of a woman's identity and social position.

As others have said, all the best.

 

[Captain Gandalf]

Tsq, you don't know me, but I'd like to say a few words here. When I met my ex-wife, she was bald (by choice, as I later found out). She looked great, unconventional, and that's what got me interested in her. If she'd had hair, I probably wouldn't have noticed her.

Now, if the worst should happen (which at this point is far from certain), I want you to know there are ways to deal with it.
There's a woman called Sharon Blynn, and she has this website :
http://www.baldisbeautiful.org/
Believe me, you'll feel better when you read her story (and those like her); she's the proof that baldness can be turned to your advantage.
Did you know there are a lot of men who actually like bald women (and even devoted websites to this subject)?
They have a saying : "Beauty is not follicle-deep", and I think there's a lot of truth in it.
Anyway, I wish you all the best, and above all, the strength to overcome this.

Hang tough.

 

[Amaris]

^ Good point.

Personally, I look at what's in one's heart, not what's on one's head, and beauty does not begin or end with hair.

J.

 

[Aurian]

TSQ.. i just have to say that I understand you completely. It happened to me 4 years ago. I got terriby sick and had to undergo surgery. Afterwards my hair fell out. I went from having waistelong thick healthy hair, to having to cut it off to save it from looking ridiculous, since I left over half of my hair in my brush, down the drain, on my pillows everywhere.. And it has not yet recovered fully, and I doubt it never will. But guess what, my hair is much much thicker now than at the low point, and it is now getting longer without it looking too "thin". So it does grow back. I suffer from general vitamindeficiensies and have to take better care of my hair in general.. use some better shampoo etc.. then it would look even nicer.


*hugs hugs hugs* And also, dont worry. It is just a temporary shock for your hair sweetie. This was just me showing that i understand your pain.

 

[jamestyler]

^I disagree. I know it's hard for men to lose hair, but I guarantee it's harder for women. If a bald man passes by the average person doesn't have a second thought. If a bald woman passes by it's a completely different story.

My ex was extremely jealous when I was talking to a bald chick. Though in fairness, she was rather cute...

Anyway... I don't think it'll be too much of a problem. My mother has thick strong hair and hers has been falling out in the same way in stages through her life since she was 20. She's had medical problems and stress all her life, different from yours, but she's in her fifties now, full head of hair and looks great. My older sister has the same thing and it's unnoticeable.

We all hold ourselves under a magnifying glass and notice things about our bodies far more than anyone else does. So you'll likely be more conncerned while other people won't notice. You have a remarkable attitude and venting out frustrations is far better than keeping them bottled up.

Keep your chin up and try not to think about it too much until Thursday. The worst thing anyone can do is let themselves be crippled by insecurities. We're far more than the shells we live in and theres nothing you can do but wait for a few days until you see the doc (which may sound harsh, not intended to be), just try to think positive.

And drink some tea. I don't know why, but I'm British and we always face something with a cup of tea.

 

[Dar70]

Dont worry TSQ. Many people are in the same boat as you. I understand its hard to deal with right now. Even though your hairloss in not due to aging, almost ALL of us will experience some type of hairloss or change in our hair eventually.(there is a very very very small percentage of people that dont, think Ronald Regan)
Hair also tends to age like skin. When hair gets gray it loses proteins and becomes wispier and finer, and harder to control. Some people think they are losing their hair when it ages but its just actually changing like skin does when it wrinkles. No matter what you do, even if you dye it, it will never look like it does when we were younger.

Look at older woman in their late 60's or 70's. How many do you see with lush long hair?? Not many I'll wager. Most of them look like walking q-tips. Its not because they dont want long hair (as many of them say) its because their hair no longer looks as good long because it has aged and lost lots of proteins due to graying.

So I wouldnt worry to much. Just think of this as training for when your hair does indeed change with age. Hang in there.

 

[Amaris]

And drink some tea. I don't know why, but I'm British and we always face something with a cup of tea.

Amen to all you just said.
I point out the above pair of sentences because I just wanted to express how strongly I agree with this statement. I'm not British, I'm a U.S. citizen, but I believe it's possible to cope with whatever comes your way, if you do it with a cup of tea in hand.


J.

 

[RJDiogenes]

^^ I'm with you guys.

Firstly, you're not wrong, it's lookingglassman. In the Place That Shall Not Be Named he just started a thread laughing at hostages being executed.
Pay him no heed.

The Place That Shall Not Be Named is also The Place That Shall Not Be Talked About. Leave it alone, please. Let's everybody keep this Thread on topic.

 

[captcalhoun]

zombies running riot? have a cup of tea

aliens invading? have a cup of tea

county's flooded? have a cup of tea

road's blocked by snow? have a cup of tea

typical british response.

 

[Zulu Romeo]

zombies running riot? have a cup of tea

aliens invading? have a cup of tea

county's flooded? have a cup of tea

road's blocked by snow? have a cup of tea

typical british response.

And if you're out of tea? Become an anarchist and take herbal tea instead, because...?


tsq, I am sorry to hear about your hair loss issue. I can't really add much more to what's already been said (really, I can't) but I understand the distress it's causing you in terms of self-image and uncertainty over what happens next. As Holdfast suggested, if it's likely to be the telogen effluvium following your recent DKA admission then things might not be too bad, but as with anything medical, please have a word with your family doctor for advice (and of course come back and let off more steam therapeutically if it doesn't go to plan ).

 

[Crusher Disciple]

tsq, always know that whatever happens, we think (well, we know) you're beautiful.