*TAS* Caption Contest 001: Size Matters

[Maurice]

Okay, I've wanted to do this for a while, but I've finally had time to do the prep-work. I've been watching The Animated Series and grabbing frames that I thought would be fun to use for caption contests. I've got nearly 100 already, so I'll be able to change this out on a regular basis. These ain't from Trekcore or anyplace else...they're custom captures for your captioning amusement.

We start with that old chestnut about if size matters, with images of small and tall from "The Terratin Incident" and "The Infinite Vulcan". Have at!

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Kirk: Damnit! I can't wait til Starfleet upgrades to bluetooth!

During his off-duty hours, Mr. Spock enjoyed molesting his eight-inch Mego Action Figure.

 

[Outpost4]

Great idea, DS9Sega!

Mobile telephones in the 1970s.

"I'm crushing your head. I'm still crushing your head. Not everyone deserves to have their head crushed, just 99.99999% of them. So I'm crushing your head."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

"I'm crushing your head. I'm still crushing your head. Not everyone deserves to have their head crushed, just 99.99999% of them. So I'm crushing your head."

Damn! Beaten to it!

Kirk: "Treat your hardware the way you would a beautiful woman..."

Spock: "Attempting a mind meld while wearing a giant novelty foam hand is not logical."

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "I love you, and I'm resigning from Starfleet so we can be together."

Spock: "There, there, little one: Mister Sulu won't hurt you any more ..."

 

[Triskelion]

Yes! Vibrate mode.

Damn! I'll never get little Spock's bowl cut right with this freakishly large hand.

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "Have McCoy figure out why Uhura's vagina is blue inside, would you?"

 

[Cakes488]

Kirk: Hi is this Joe's Pizza...? Yeah, I'd like to order a large pie with everything on it... oh wait you better make that a small pie.

 

[Cakes488]

Kirk thinking to himself as he admires his reflection in the communicater:

"Damn I look good even in minature, I'm going to go take advantage of myself right now!"

Spock: "WE WANT YOU" to join the Federation Army........

 

[Cakes488]

Spock distracted little Spock with his left hand while the right hand went to work.

 

[Shatmandu]

Giant Spock: "PULL MY FINGER."

 

[scottydog]

Kirk: "Spock, I hate my penis being this small. How are you coming along with the enlarging ointment?"

Spock: "Spilled some on my hand, Captain. But I'm using it to turn my mini-me into a maxi-me."

 

[Cakes488]

Kirk: "Have McCoy figure out why Uhura's vagina is blue inside, would you?"

Bones here Captain, it's because she's been bangin an Andorian on the regular... don't worry, don't worry, just give it a week Jim and the color will fade from your penis...besides the poor little bugger needs a rest anyway.

 

[Piper]

As if being shrunk wasn't bad enough, now Kirk had his foot stuck as well.

The crew knew that Star Trek was a success when the first wave of action figures was released.

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "Uhura, if you're looking for an eight inch prick, I'm your man."

 

[Cakes488]

Kirk: "Uhura, if you're looking for an eight inch prick, I'm your man."

Oh no...I'm sorry you misunderstood...that 8 inch figure is my Total size Uhura...but you know what they say..."once you go teeny you won't want any other weenie".

 

[Outpost4]

Kirk: To infinity and beyond!

Star Trek 3-D was way overdone.

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: How do you set this to vibrate?

"Smell my finger" had unexpected side effects.

 

[Triskelion]

​

No, Bratz! Not Barbie.

Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself?

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk action figure: "*sigh* I hate it when they mess up the scale."

Nurse Chapel (off-camera): "What an enormous, bifurcated schwanzschtücker."