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Pitch terrible ideas for episodes

TOS
The Hairpiece of Evil

Kirk wakes up one day, and sees his hair is missing. Spock thinks that he lost all of it during their last mission of Spray Alpha 2. However, a secret truth is revealed when Trelane appears, sporting Kirk's hair as his own. Apparently, his hair piece is the strongest in the entire galaxy, and Trelane wanted to obtain the ultimate power with it. Unfortunately, it makes Trelane evil, to the point where he destroys the bold, bald men of Alpha Centauri VII. McCoy has an idea, devised after reading 20th century hair surgery. However, Trelane grows hair on McCOy before he can say his idea, and chokes to death. Meanwhile, Spock figured a way to stop Trelane's mad way to power, by shaving his head. In the end, after a fight to the death, Kirk gets his hair back, but with a cost: He'll grow fatter and shorter in the years to come, a curse come from the Witch of the Universe (which turns out to be a time-travelling Quark).

How's that?
 
Zion Ravescene said:
"(I'm Gonna Be) 500 Miles" (DS9)
A mysterious artefact from the Gamma Quadrant clones Chief O'Brien 500 times. With hilarious consequences.
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I bet this could actually work.:lol:
 
trilbymonkey said:
"Live by the phaser"

The Enterprise time-travels back to medieval England and the crew are subsequently burnt at the stake for witchcraft.
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Similar to Star Trek #17 (the Marvel Comics version), where Bones is to be drowned because he saves a villager's life.
 
It turns out there is a counterpart race to the Romulans, and they have cloned Jean Luc Picard. Data sacrifices himself to get the ship out of danger, but luckily there's a clone of Data in the wings named Pre - V - Us. Oh wait . . . .
 
"Requiem For Tarantino" (TNG)
A mysterious virus causes everyone to act aggressively and pull off stylish feats of gratuitous violence, with much blood, guts, and pop culture references flowing though the decks of the Enterprise. Featuring gratuitous shots of Beverly Crusher's naked feet.

"Requiem For Mamet" (ENT)
The long-thought-lost Vulcan Stone of T'Ret, an ancient weapon of terror, falls into T'Pol's hands, and is triggered, causing everyone to shout out profane language until their lungs burst. Of course, Porthos saves the day. Somehow.

"Requiem For Lovelace" (VOY) [I have a bad feeling about this... - someone]
A Vidiian prankster kidnaps Janeway and rearranges her anatomy so that her [YES. We get the picture. Stop now. - everyone]
 
^^ In fact, let's get the whole damn lot of them in there. :bolian:




Has anyone mentioned "Tribble Tennis" yet? :lol:
 
Odon said:
MorganScorpion said:
RobertScorpio said:
The Sand of Time

Kira and Odo crash land on a planet in the gamma quadrant. Kira is badly injured. As it turns out an old Cardassian dude lives there, and he was a great hunter in his day. At first he treats Odo and Kira as guests, but soon reveals that he wants to hunt the greatest prize of all..a changeling. With Kira's life in the balance, ODO must survive a hunt of two days..if he does, the cardassian will give Kira the aide she needs, and let them live..if ODO is hunted down? Both he and Kira will be killed...

He flips over and Time dial, with two days worth of white sand..once the sand is gone, the hunt is over..and ODO wins..

Rob
Scorpio
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That actually sounds pretty good.
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Well it would be if just about every action-adventure TV show hadn't already ripped off ''The Most Dangerous Game''.
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True, but this one would have a Cardassian in it.

:cardie::cardie::cardie:
 
TNG- "REQUIEM FOR TETSUO"

Riker is abducted by aliens and experimented on. Shortly afterwards he begins to exhibit psychokinetic powers. With the help of his trusty motorbike, Captain Jean-Luc Picard must stop Riker from turning into a huge throbbing alien placenta. Wrinkled diminutive aliens help by throwing sample jars at him.

TNG- "RIVER TAM BEATS UP THE BORG"

On second thoughts, that would be awesome.
 
TOS - "Where No Chimp Has Gone Before"
Trelane returns and transforms the Enterprise crew into space monkeys, just because he can.

TNG - "A Plague on Both Your Houses"
A mishap in the holodeck causes Picard to believe he's Queen Elizabeth. Data (as Sir Walter Raleigh) must save the day before Picard declares war on France.

DS9 - "Fast Times at Deep Space Nine"
After a visit to the Celestial Temple, Sisko discovers he can control the flow of linear time. He amuses himself by causing everyone on the station to go about their daily business in fast-motion accompanied by music from "Benny Hill".

VOY - "The Change"
Janeway enters menopause and suffers a series of dramatic bi-polar mood swings. No one notices the difference.

ENT - "To Serve Man's Best Friend"
Archer leads a diplomatic mission to a newly-contacted planet. He brings Porthos along for some badly needed exercise and fresh air. The aliens take a liking to Porthos and eat him.
 
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Zion Ravescene said:
"Requiem For Tarantino" (TNG)
A mysterious virus causes everyone to act aggressively and pull off stylish feats of gratuitous violence, with much blood, guts, and pop culture references flowing though the decks of the Enterprise. Featuring gratuitous shots of Beverly Crusher's naked feet.

"Requiem For Mamet" (ENT)
The long-thought-lost Vulcan Stone of T'Ret, an ancient weapon of terror, falls into T'Pol's hands, and is triggered, causing everyone to shout out profane language until their lungs burst. Of course, Porthos saves the day. Somehow.

"Requiem For Lovelace" (VOY) [I have a bad feeling about this... - someone]
A Vidiian prankster kidnaps Janeway and rearranges her anatomy so that her [YES. We get the picture. Stop now. - everyone]
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"Requiem For Bergman"

A contaminant gets into the air filtration system aboard the Enterprise, causing everyone to stand around listlessly and moan about how futile life is.

"Requiem For Uwe Boll"

...on second thought, forget it.
 
"The Deadly Revenge of The Wrath of Khan" (VOY)

Voyager is just merrily cruising along, getting coffee from nebulas and not seeing the last of people, when the Reliant decloaks off of the port bow. Khan has been drifting through space for almost a century, vowing revenge against Kirk. Meanwhile, Harry is consulting with a holographic Kirk Cameron to help him with his crippling lack of characterization. Khan beams in and kills Kirk Cameron. Harry weeps for his holographic friend. Then respawns him when Khan leaves.

"F**k-Ups Of A Timelord" (ENT)

"Captain Archer!!"

"Daniels? What is it, what's wrong?"

"It's my latest regeneration.... it's gone horribly wrong."
 
Pretty much anything involving the following:

1) Holodecks buggering up and threatening the safety of the ship

2) Wesley finding out he now has hair in regions where he didn't originally have any.

3) Things involving Vulcans (this one because I think that the Vulcans have been overused and now it's time to let someone else have the spotlight!)

4) Geordi trying to get girls and screwing up!

5) Placing in crappy puns about Ponn-Farr (sp?), Klingon mating and fighting rituals, and the Borg, as well as lines like "I don't want to feel like a third nacelle!" (which I thought made the ship go faster at the expense of aesthetics)

Combine all this together and you've got yourself a pretty craptastic episode!
 
Epsilon IX said:
5) Placing in crappy puns about Ponn-Farr (sp?), Klingon mating and fighting rituals, and the Borg, as well as lines like "I don't want to feel like a third nacelle!" (which I thought made the ship go faster at the expense of aesthetics)
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[First Contact Picard Rage] NO! NOOOOOOOOOOO! [/rage]

A third nacelle does not a fast ship make :p

As for everything else you mentioned, I think all of them should be put into a feature length episode that crosses all five series, ultimately leading to the resurrection of Kirk. And it has to have Borg. Oh so many Borg. But they won't be strong or threatening.
 
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