TOS Caption Contest #127 - Very Strange New Worlds

Kirk: "There aren't any small roles; just small actors."

 

KIRK:"I'm going to KILL YOU, Sprout.

My peas aren't supposed to be used THAT way during parties!!"

 

"I have three words for you, Kirk.

Words you will spend your last moments contemplating.

Fa..

Bu...

LOUS."

 

Kirk: "I've had chunks of Klingon in my shits bigger than you, boy."




Kirk: "Do you have a sister?"






Kirk: "I told you not to watch Sulu's vacation slides."





Kirk: "Is that a bug on your shoulder?"
<Alexander looks; Kirk kicks him full-bore in the nuts.>
Kirk: "BOO-YAH!"

 

KIRK:"Dammit...they said he'd have a RIDING CROP!!"

 

"Dammit, Mickey...I told you I've got to meet Jerry, George and Elaine down at MONK'S at 2!

I can't rehearse this with you!"

 

Shatner: C'mon, Michael! Just ONCE more. PLEEEAAAASSSE?

Dunn: I told you before, NO MORE ASS-PINCHING!! I've had enough!!

Shatner: Please? Pinchy, PINCHY!!

 

KIRK:"That's dangerous.

You shouldn't awkwardly hobble on puny poodle stumps with something sharp. You could hurt yourself."

 

KIRK:"I wax my chest.

It's in my contract."

 

Nazi: Go on.......GO ON.... touch my monkey......touch it...TOUCH IT!!!!!!!

 

SPOCK:"Do you have a vegetarian prison menu?"

 

Herr Flick: "You men may amuse yourselves with the hairless one."
<The guards mumble low sexual threats at Kirk.>
Herr Flick: "Leave ol' double-dong here to me."

 

A little blurb from the Entertainment trade papers I saw in todays news:

And now replacing Donny Osmond in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat is our very own.........Lord Garth!
Opening night was a huge success with the recent shake up of the cast! Unfortunately this success was short lived because Garth was unable to take direction and he killed his supporting cast in a fit of rage. In hindsight Donny Osmonds backstage demands to have all stagehands naked and on all fours seemed mild in comparision to what theatre go-ers had witnessed.
Donny Osmonds contract has been reprised.

 

Spock: With all due respect Commander, you've misheard me, I advised that my name is Spock ,not Sprocket.......... and I shall not dance.

 

Kirk: Okay, okay, I won't sing Rocketman!

 

Shatner: There once was a midget from Venus. When we measured the size of his----

Dunn: SHUT UP, SHATNER! I'm WARNING YOU!

 

Kirk: "Oh, you want a tip? Here's a tip: don't be so goddamned short."

 

Kirk: "When I wanted an extra large, I wasn't talking about the pizza."

 

You're not gonna hiss all over my pie like that last delivery guy are ya?