CHAPTER 4
Supplemental
USS Independence, Executive Officer’s Quarters
In Orbit of Maluria VID
The weight of the room – the very air – was made dense and thick as Ethan entered his home. The boys had been playing on the floor with some type of board game. Upon seeing their father, they paused.
Jeff, the oldest boy, got up. “I don’t want to play anymore. That game is stupid anyway.” He just barely glanced at his dad as he turned and retreated to the isolation of his room.
The six-year old, Paul, remained. He looked up at his father with innocent, blissfully ignorant eyes.
Ethan knew what would come next. Paul would ask him the same question he asked nearly every time they crossed paths. ‘Wanna play with me, Dad?’ He dreaded the question. He wanted to reply, ‘You don’t want to play with me, Paul. I’m a horrible person. You don’t want to have anything to do with me. You don’t want to be like me. Find yourself another role model.’
Paul asked the question.
The Independence XO uttered, “I uh…I don’t know how to play, sorry.”
“It’s an easy game,” the boy persisted. “I’ll teach you.”
“Not now.”
Paul fussed and crossed his arms. He mumbled in protest, “You never play with me.” His eyes began to water. The six year old made a good effort to hold the tears in.
He wanted to comfort Paul. Ethan crouched down and reached for his son, but stopped himself before making contact. Instead, he pulled away. His eyes began to water as well. He offered, “I’m sorry, Paul.” He stood and looked down at the boy, “I’m sorry for a lot of things.”
Ethan walked out.
*****
Supplemental
USS Independence, Deck Six
In Orbit of Maluria VID
For a few minutes, Windslow wondered the ship. He hoped to walk it off. It didn’t work. The stares he got, the incriminating glances. They all seemed to say, ‘You’re worthless! You disgust me! Pathetic. What the hell are you doing in that uniform? Why do you deserve to live? You killed them. Do us all a favor…’
His track turned. The former captain went down a rarely used corridor. It led to the port nacelle control room. The area usually didn’t require manning.
The shielded hatch to the control room slid open. The lights turned on as he entered. The area had two levels. He stepped slowly up the ladder to the upper platform. Once he reached the top, he went over to a computer panel inlaid in the bulkhead. When he touched it, a second, heavily shielded door opened in front of him. A warning klaxon sounded for a moment.
Beyond the door, Ethan looked upon a cavernous area, which was the interior of the warp nacelle. A stream of super-heated plasma flowed just below him and down the entire length of the nacelle.
It wouldn’t take much, he thought to himself. Just release the forcefield and take a step. It wouldn’t even be painful. The nerves wouldn’t have time to relay the pain impulses to his brain. The plasma would reduce him to atoms in a fraction of a second.
He stared blankly at his escape. Could he do it? Sure the boys would miss him for a while, but they’d get over it. Hell, he’d barely been in their lives for the last two years anyway. In the end, it’d be better for them.
His mind grew numb as he watched to flow of violet, glowing plasma.
An irksome sound forced him back. The sound of his wife followed, “Susan Windslow to Ethan Windslow.”
She hailed him a second time.
Finally, he tapped his compin, “Yes.”
“I was just wondering when you were coming home. The boys are about to go to bed.”
He thought…felt for a few seconds. “I’m just finishing up. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
“Ok.”
Slowly, Ethan turned to the control panel and shut the shielded hatch. He said to no one, “I am a coward.” After a long sigh, he climbed back down the ladder and exited the room. The lights faded as the door closed behind him.
*****
Supplemental
USS Independence, Security Officer’s Quarters
In Orbit of Maluria VID
Nicole Chase’s quarters hadn’t been used in a month. She could be found in Karim’s quarters during most of her off hours.
She woke up. The sheets next to her were ruffled, but no one was there. The blonde groggily got up. It was cold once she got out from under the covers, so she grabbed Karim’s uniform jacket and put it on her bare body. She didn’t bother zipping it up.
Nicole had a bad case of bed hair. She saw a light from the living room and found Kairm reading a book on the couch. He saw her and smiled gently. She crunched up her brow and asked, “What are you doing?”
“I couldn’t sleep,” he began. “I some times have insomnia, so I read to focus my mind.”
She walked up to him gratified that he seemed to appreciate her attire, or lack thereof. She cuddled next to him, “So what are you reading?”
“Oh,” he looked at the relatively modern reprint. The art of making actual books hadn’t quite died, yet. “It’s the Tibetan Book of the Dead.”
“Sounds lovely,” she jested. She leaned closer and read a passage,
“To the Divine Body of Truth, the Incomprehensible, Boundless Light;
To the Divine Body of Perfect Endowment, Who are the Lotus and the Peaceful and the Wrathful Deities;
To the Lotus-born Incarnation, Padma Sambhava, who is the Protector of all sentient beings;
To the Gurus, the Three Bodies, obeisance.”
She looked to Karim for an explanation of what she had just read.
He had never really let her into this part of his life, or anyone else for that matter. It wasn’t something he shared, not even with Kimula or Sintina. They knew he was a student of religion and spirituality. They didn’t know his motivation. It was more than simply acedemic curiosity. The search was his…just his. He placated her with, “It’d be difficult to explain.” He closed the book and kissed her. “Besides,” he continued, “Seeing you in that jacket makes me think it’s time to go back to bed.”
She grinned coyly, “You like it, do you?”
“Let me show you how much I like it.”
He leaned her back on the couch.
*****
Supplemental
USS Independence, Executive Officer’s Quarters
In Orbit of Maluria VID
The dark of his quarters parted as the light from the corridor flooded in. The light ended a moment later.
Ethan surmised everyone had gone to bed. It was quiet. He could hear the hum of the warp core. He crossed his arms and walked toward the windows. He couldn’t see the moon they orbited from this side of the ship. The infinite void greeted him. It didn’t judge him; nor did it console him. It was simply there.
He heard footfalls. It was Susan. He didn’t confirm his suspicions by looking at her.
“I was wondering when you would come in,” she said quietly.
Still, he didn’t look at her, “I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“You didn’t.”
Somehow that darkness and the stars had calmed both of them. There was no tension in the room.
Susan breathed softly. “Well,” she began, “good night.”
“How would you feel if I left Starfleet?” he blurted.
The bluntness of the question caught her off guard. After she recovered, she asked, “Is that what you want to do?”
“Something needs to change,” he said. “I can’t go on like this.”
Susan, wearing a nightgown, walked closer, “I suppose we could go back to Earth. I’m sure there are several civilian organizations that could use your engineering skills.” She added, “If that what you really want.”
Ethan entered the academy when he was seventeen. His whole childhood revolved around building starships. It was all he ever wanted to do. Starfleet granted him his wish.
His happiest years were at Utopia Planitia. He was married to a wonderful, loving woman full of life; Jeff was born there; and he was living his dream. He tried to get reassigned there, but the current CO denied his request.
He looked over to Susan. For the first time he became aware of how tired she looked. Sure it was late, but it was more than that. Some of the life he so loved in her all those years ago had faded. He, he realized, was the cause.
Ethan recalled, “There are some civilian shipyards in orbit. I could apply to them.”
“You could,” she concurred, but she wasn’t convinced he was seriously thinking about it. She found a way to prompt him, “Maybe you should sleep on it.”
He got her message. “Alright. I’ll be there in a minute.”
Not sure whether to add another point or not, she paused. Then, Susan returned to the bedroom.
Again, Ethan stared out at the stars. He was truly torn. The only thing he knew for sure was, something deep inside him was about to break.
END OF CHAPTER 4
Supplemental
USS Independence, Executive Officer’s Quarters
In Orbit of Maluria VID
The weight of the room – the very air – was made dense and thick as Ethan entered his home. The boys had been playing on the floor with some type of board game. Upon seeing their father, they paused.
Jeff, the oldest boy, got up. “I don’t want to play anymore. That game is stupid anyway.” He just barely glanced at his dad as he turned and retreated to the isolation of his room.
The six-year old, Paul, remained. He looked up at his father with innocent, blissfully ignorant eyes.
Ethan knew what would come next. Paul would ask him the same question he asked nearly every time they crossed paths. ‘Wanna play with me, Dad?’ He dreaded the question. He wanted to reply, ‘You don’t want to play with me, Paul. I’m a horrible person. You don’t want to have anything to do with me. You don’t want to be like me. Find yourself another role model.’
Paul asked the question.
The Independence XO uttered, “I uh…I don’t know how to play, sorry.”
“It’s an easy game,” the boy persisted. “I’ll teach you.”
“Not now.”
Paul fussed and crossed his arms. He mumbled in protest, “You never play with me.” His eyes began to water. The six year old made a good effort to hold the tears in.
He wanted to comfort Paul. Ethan crouched down and reached for his son, but stopped himself before making contact. Instead, he pulled away. His eyes began to water as well. He offered, “I’m sorry, Paul.” He stood and looked down at the boy, “I’m sorry for a lot of things.”
Ethan walked out.
*****
Supplemental
USS Independence, Deck Six
In Orbit of Maluria VID
For a few minutes, Windslow wondered the ship. He hoped to walk it off. It didn’t work. The stares he got, the incriminating glances. They all seemed to say, ‘You’re worthless! You disgust me! Pathetic. What the hell are you doing in that uniform? Why do you deserve to live? You killed them. Do us all a favor…’
His track turned. The former captain went down a rarely used corridor. It led to the port nacelle control room. The area usually didn’t require manning.
The shielded hatch to the control room slid open. The lights turned on as he entered. The area had two levels. He stepped slowly up the ladder to the upper platform. Once he reached the top, he went over to a computer panel inlaid in the bulkhead. When he touched it, a second, heavily shielded door opened in front of him. A warning klaxon sounded for a moment.
Beyond the door, Ethan looked upon a cavernous area, which was the interior of the warp nacelle. A stream of super-heated plasma flowed just below him and down the entire length of the nacelle.
It wouldn’t take much, he thought to himself. Just release the forcefield and take a step. It wouldn’t even be painful. The nerves wouldn’t have time to relay the pain impulses to his brain. The plasma would reduce him to atoms in a fraction of a second.
He stared blankly at his escape. Could he do it? Sure the boys would miss him for a while, but they’d get over it. Hell, he’d barely been in their lives for the last two years anyway. In the end, it’d be better for them.
His mind grew numb as he watched to flow of violet, glowing plasma.
An irksome sound forced him back. The sound of his wife followed, “Susan Windslow to Ethan Windslow.”
She hailed him a second time.
Finally, he tapped his compin, “Yes.”
“I was just wondering when you were coming home. The boys are about to go to bed.”
He thought…felt for a few seconds. “I’m just finishing up. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
“Ok.”
Slowly, Ethan turned to the control panel and shut the shielded hatch. He said to no one, “I am a coward.” After a long sigh, he climbed back down the ladder and exited the room. The lights faded as the door closed behind him.
*****
Supplemental
USS Independence, Security Officer’s Quarters
In Orbit of Maluria VID
Nicole Chase’s quarters hadn’t been used in a month. She could be found in Karim’s quarters during most of her off hours.
She woke up. The sheets next to her were ruffled, but no one was there. The blonde groggily got up. It was cold once she got out from under the covers, so she grabbed Karim’s uniform jacket and put it on her bare body. She didn’t bother zipping it up.
Nicole had a bad case of bed hair. She saw a light from the living room and found Kairm reading a book on the couch. He saw her and smiled gently. She crunched up her brow and asked, “What are you doing?”
“I couldn’t sleep,” he began. “I some times have insomnia, so I read to focus my mind.”
She walked up to him gratified that he seemed to appreciate her attire, or lack thereof. She cuddled next to him, “So what are you reading?”
“Oh,” he looked at the relatively modern reprint. The art of making actual books hadn’t quite died, yet. “It’s the Tibetan Book of the Dead.”
“Sounds lovely,” she jested. She leaned closer and read a passage,
“To the Divine Body of Truth, the Incomprehensible, Boundless Light;
To the Divine Body of Perfect Endowment, Who are the Lotus and the Peaceful and the Wrathful Deities;
To the Lotus-born Incarnation, Padma Sambhava, who is the Protector of all sentient beings;
To the Gurus, the Three Bodies, obeisance.”
She looked to Karim for an explanation of what she had just read.
He had never really let her into this part of his life, or anyone else for that matter. It wasn’t something he shared, not even with Kimula or Sintina. They knew he was a student of religion and spirituality. They didn’t know his motivation. It was more than simply acedemic curiosity. The search was his…just his. He placated her with, “It’d be difficult to explain.” He closed the book and kissed her. “Besides,” he continued, “Seeing you in that jacket makes me think it’s time to go back to bed.”
She grinned coyly, “You like it, do you?”
“Let me show you how much I like it.”
He leaned her back on the couch.
*****
Supplemental
USS Independence, Executive Officer’s Quarters
In Orbit of Maluria VID
The dark of his quarters parted as the light from the corridor flooded in. The light ended a moment later.
Ethan surmised everyone had gone to bed. It was quiet. He could hear the hum of the warp core. He crossed his arms and walked toward the windows. He couldn’t see the moon they orbited from this side of the ship. The infinite void greeted him. It didn’t judge him; nor did it console him. It was simply there.
He heard footfalls. It was Susan. He didn’t confirm his suspicions by looking at her.
“I was wondering when you would come in,” she said quietly.
Still, he didn’t look at her, “I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“You didn’t.”
Somehow that darkness and the stars had calmed both of them. There was no tension in the room.
Susan breathed softly. “Well,” she began, “good night.”
“How would you feel if I left Starfleet?” he blurted.
The bluntness of the question caught her off guard. After she recovered, she asked, “Is that what you want to do?”
“Something needs to change,” he said. “I can’t go on like this.”
Susan, wearing a nightgown, walked closer, “I suppose we could go back to Earth. I’m sure there are several civilian organizations that could use your engineering skills.” She added, “If that what you really want.”
Ethan entered the academy when he was seventeen. His whole childhood revolved around building starships. It was all he ever wanted to do. Starfleet granted him his wish.
His happiest years were at Utopia Planitia. He was married to a wonderful, loving woman full of life; Jeff was born there; and he was living his dream. He tried to get reassigned there, but the current CO denied his request.
He looked over to Susan. For the first time he became aware of how tired she looked. Sure it was late, but it was more than that. Some of the life he so loved in her all those years ago had faded. He, he realized, was the cause.
Ethan recalled, “There are some civilian shipyards in orbit. I could apply to them.”
“You could,” she concurred, but she wasn’t convinced he was seriously thinking about it. She found a way to prompt him, “Maybe you should sleep on it.”
He got her message. “Alright. I’ll be there in a minute.”
Not sure whether to add another point or not, she paused. Then, Susan returned to the bedroom.
Again, Ethan stared out at the stars. He was truly torn. The only thing he knew for sure was, something deep inside him was about to break.
END OF CHAPTER 4
