Boyfriends birthday - I'm not invited!
- Thread starter K'Ehleyr
- Start date
What about spending his day with his friends?
Let him do what he wants. It's his birthday.
And how is wanting to spend time with his friends pushing buttons? I mean, as much people like spending time with the people they are in relationships with, it is ok to you know, have some space sometimes and doing stuff for themselves.
Im pretty sure if they spent every waking moment together theyd go insane.
The only way Id see this as a red flag would be if he didnt want to do anything with her at all, even after suggesting an alternative day for a bday get together between the two.
Advice needed from boys and girls please....
Boyfriend of 4 years birthday is next Friday. We always do something special for b'days, anniversaries etc. I'd the idea of a dinner party at a friends for 6 pals. 'He' wants to go down the pub as always on a Friday night. I never go as it's 'boy's night'. Am I right in feeling a little put out? Or do we go with the 'it's his birthday he can do what he wants?'
let him go to the pub then sulk about it the next day works
with me and my girlfriend i'd go out after the"ok then you can go"
she then sulks for a couple of days
have to remember if a woman says "ok then" it really means go but i'll make your life hell for a while
"Boys Night Out?" "Girls Night Out?" What century is this again? 
Personally, I don't think this is very nice. If an SO did something like that to me, especially after four years of doing something special, I would be questioning the existence of the relationship....
Personally, I don't think this is very nice. If an SO did something like that to me, especially after four years of doing something special, I would be questioning the existence of the relationship....
Or it might be possible that his friends are going to treat him for a lap dance.
Unfortunately you haven't seen his friends
Just turn the lights out and think of England......
You have learnt well Oh wise oneAdvice needed from boys and girls please....
Boyfriend of 4 years birthday is next Friday. We always do something special for b'days, anniversaries etc. I'd the idea of a dinner party at a friends for 6 pals. 'He' wants to go down the pub as always on a Friday night. I never go as it's 'boy's night'. Am I right in feeling a little put out? Or do we go with the 'it's his birthday he can do what he wants?'
let him go to the pub then sulk about it the next day works
"ok then you can go"
she then sulks for a couple of days
have to remember if a woman says "ok then" it really means go but i'll make your life hell for a while
.Just how much sulking = presents?
"Boys Night Out?" "Girls Night Out?" What century is this again?
Personally, I don't think this is very nice. If an SO did something like that to me, especially after four years of doing something special, I would be questioning the existence of the relationship....
He does live in the dark ages
. And will definately do for the rest of next weekend
How selfish of him to not consider what YOU want to do on HIS birthday! 
How selfish of him to not consider what YOU want to do on HIS birthday!
Alrighty then, I think we know which way you vote
I'm no relationship expert by far, but it could just be that to him, it's just a Friday. (I'm sure that others have said this too). Maybe his normal "gang" will do something special for his birthday, like treat him to dinner, or buy his drinks. If going to the pub is just part of his normal routine, then he probably won't change it. Going to the pub on a Friday could be as regular as going to work for him, and you don't very often take off work on your birthday. I wouldn't worry much about it. I would, however, explain your feelings to him after the fact, so as not to ruin his b-day with a potential argument. Then, after knowing your feelings, he may consider doing something different next year. Just my $0.02...
Advice needed from boys and girls please....
Boyfriend of 4 years birthday is next Friday. We always do something special for b'days, anniversaries etc. I'd the idea of a dinner party at a friends for 6 pals. 'He' wants to go down the pub as always on a Friday night. I never go as it's 'boy's night'. Am I right in feeling a little put out? Or do we go with the 'it's his birthday he can do what he wants?'
I don't see anything unusual. Talk to him, it's not that hard. But there's nothing wrong with him wanting to spend a night out with the guys. Part of a relationship is being able to give people space on occasion, and not having to spend every possible second with each other. That way lies insanity.
I think it is OK if he wants to have the night out with his mates, but I find it rather unlikely that he doesn't realise that this is going to put your nose out a bit. If he hasn't addressed it with you I'd be more concerned about that than what he wants to do on his birthday.
No big deal...he does the same thing every Friday. Birthdays aren't a big thing with most guys anyway.
I was thinking along the same lines, but sometimes people just don't understand what's important to the other. I don't think what he wanted was unreasonable, and in that situation I'd have done a birthday thing alone with my guy on another date.
Then again, birthdays aren't a huge deal to me so I guess everyone has different priorities.
You have learnt well Oh wise oneAdvice needed from boys and girls please....
Boyfriend of 4 years birthday is next Friday. We always do something special for b'days, anniversaries etc. I'd the idea of a dinner party at a friends for 6 pals. 'He' wants to go down the pub as always on a Friday night. I never go as it's 'boy's night'. Am I right in feeling a little put out? Or do we go with the 'it's his birthday he can do what he wants?'
let him go to the pub then sulk about it the next day works
"ok then you can go"
she then sulks for a couple of days
have to remember if a woman says "ok then" it really means go but i'll make your life hell for a while
Just how much sulking = presents?
ooh at least 2days maybe three at a push
CaptainHawk1
Commodore
Not for nothing, but he's been stringing you along for four years with no commitment... why is this latest example really a surprise?Advice needed from boys and girls please....
Boyfriend of 4 years birthday is next Friday. We always do something special for b'days, anniversaries etc. I'd the idea of a dinner party at a friends for 6 pals. 'He' wants to go down the pub as always on a Friday night. I never go as it's 'boy's night'. Am I right in feeling a little put out? Or do we go with the 'it's his birthday he can do what he wants?'
And actually,to answer the last part of the question, yes, you really ain't go no business telling him what to do unless you're married to him, sorry.
That's not meant to give you a hard time, that's just reality but you've been putting up with it for four years so why should you put your foot down now?
I mean seriously, that's an incredible amount of disrespect but he knows that you'll tolerate it.
-Shawn
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