I've had quite a few strange reunions with old acquaintances, some of which I can't tell here. However, I do have a pretty good one about a chick named Laura.
Laura was somehow associated with one of the groups I affiliated with in High School. I wouldn't have even noticed her if she hadn't been dating a friend of mine named Herbie. I was never impressed with her. She was always physically small and mentally soft. Quite the sad specimen, if I do say so myself. She wasn't all that attractive at all. She's also quite delusional and very likely to be psychologically disturbed.
Anyway, fast-forward to the year 2008 and she's re-appeared. She's trying very hard to re-integrate herself into the group at a local bar for some reason and seems especially interested in getting into my good graces.
This is where the funny (or pathetic) part begins...
I noticed that she's changed her attire from High School. Instead of looking like some Seattle Grunge Reject, she now looks like someone trying to get into the underground Metal scene. (That means she's wearing mostly black.) She keeps trying to talk to me, obviously thinking that I'm paying close attention, which I'm not. She offers to buy me drinks, which I decline. (I don't like alcohol. I was only in that bar to hang with my friends.) She tries to convince me she's Metal now. I try hard not to laugh. 'Being Metal' is not just about enjoying a musical genre. It's an attitude and an uncompromising way of thinking she couldn't handle.
She also tells me about some things that I really don't believe are my business, like her family situation and a few health problems. Something tells me that's not the sort of thing you tell someone when you're trying to get into their good graces.
This goes on for weeks before she tells me that she would have rather dated me back in High School instead of Herbie. Publically, I gave no reaction at all, remaining as stone-faced as always. In my mind, I was thinking 'Yes Laura, I know. Herbie told me that over the phone in the summer of 1999 after you two split. Then, like now, you had absolutely no chance in Hell.'
I deliberately keep her at even more of a distance after that night. I'd even go so far as to answer one of her questions with 'You know what Laura, I just don't care.' She and everyone else at that table started laughing because they thought I was just being my old anti-social self. However, I really did just not care. I don't even know what it was she was talking about, either. I was playing with my iPod while she was talking and not paying attention to her.
I quit hanging out at that bar and disowned all but two members of that group a few weeks later on a totally unrelated matter. I thought that would be the end of my dealings with her. Then, last week, I get a friend request over Facebook. It was Laura. It didn't even take me 2 seconds to deny that request. Good thing my profiles on social networking sites are set to private. I'm pretty sure I blocked her over MySpace too.
I sure hope one of those former friends from that group doesn't do something stupid, like give her my phone number or home address. I'd hate to have to shoot her on sight for trespassing on private property. My .45 would probably blast her in half with a single shot. She's barely 5 feet tall (if that) and weighs less than 100 lbs. The situation would not end well for her.
Finally, I just want to make clear that I'm not as much of a jerk or sociopath as this post might make me appear. I just hate dealing with crazy and stupid people who can't take a hint.
- msbae
The hinge thing on my R key has snapped and I often don't notice if it doesn't register the R (I'm sure theres some other posts I've made that I haven't spotted it)
