TNG Caption This #148 - "Je ne peux pas prononcer "légende""

[scottydog]

Picard: "The line must be drawn he-ah! There will be no more Caption Picture days!"

 

[Triskelion]

There can be no justice so long as laws are -
Heard it.
With the first link a chain is forged -
Been there done that.
Oh what a piece of work is man -
Played.
A man's colostemy bag is bursting with fecundity of culture -
That's a new one. Can I go now?
First can you help me change this colostemy bag?

Of course I can help align the dilithium crystals without my glasses. Just ask Geordi Number three.

 

[Santa Kang]

PICARD: My mother taught me never to hit a lady. Lucky for me , you're no lady!

 

[M'Sharak]

A man's colostemy bag is bursting with fecundity of culture -

*snerf*

 

[Cky]

Troi: I've told you a million times. No matter how hard you squeeze you won't "Hulk up"

As usual, the white man blames the black guy for eating all the cake.

 

[Rat Boy]

Burton: "You're not fooling anyone with that beard, Mr. Shatner."

Shatner: "And you're not fooling anyone with that auto filter, Mr. Reading Rainbow."

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Burton: "You're not fooling anyone with that beard, Mr. Shatner."

Shatner: "And you're not fooling anyone with that auto filter, Mr. Reading Rainbow."

Burton: "That's Mr. Word Up to you, bub."

 

[Piper]

Counselor Troi's concerns for the Captain's sanity deepened when he told her the Romulans had placed a cloaking device around his multi-gym.

Sergey: I bet you look at my finger first.
Geordi: I bet I don't.
Sergey: You're on.

 

[Shatmandu]

Picard: "I said, 'Counsel these nuts.'"

Geordi: "Captain, from what my Visor is picking up, I would advise against pulling that finger."

 

[Captain Zog]

Picard: "All right, Troi. You've been a useless sloth on my bridge for too long! It's time to end this once and for all. Mano-a-mano.

Old Dude: "I'm HIS bitch now!"

 

[SantaEddie74]

"Performance-enhancing Rogaine my ass, Counselor..."

SERGEY:"Look over there!!!"

GEORDI:"What? Where?"

(*Sergey slaps 'Kick Me' sign in Russian Cyrillic script on his back*)

 

[SantaEddie74]

TROI:"We done here, sir?

I have to go watch paint dry in the middle of a quantum singularity."

 

[Triskelion]

You've condescended to me for the last time, Counselor. It's time to introduce you to my First and Second officers, Lefty and the Gimp.

Geordi: Lower it about two centimeters. There. Good. That's the Enterprise's secret sweet spot. Just keep your hand right there. Second shift is about to begin.
Sergey: Fantastic. And the ladies don't mind?
Geordi: No no, they always step out of this turbolift pretending to be distracted.
Sergey: I have all the crew's personnel records and photoshops at home!

 

[Shatmandu]

Picard: "Say the word 'feelings' one more time, and I'll beat the shit out of you."

 

[SantaEddie74]

"I once beat your mother at arm wrestling, Counselor. Don't challenge me!"

"Captain, with all due respect she was INVOLUNTARILY holding you down and you were struggling for your life...not the same thing."

SERGEY:"Is the toilet that way?

Good.

I've got a sehlat head pokin' out that could choke a Nimbus III horse."

 

[Drob]

Picard: "So do you want a visit to.."
<shaking left fist> "the hospital.."
<shaking right fist> "...or the graveyard!"

Sergey: "Thanks to this idiots radiation leak I have a two-mouth beard!"

 

[Triskelion]

The Kenny Rogers tribute contest is this way?
<walks away singing in a Russian accent>:
Islands in stream.
That what we are.
No Klingons in between.
Like Vulcans in pon farr....

- Deanna, when Ambassador Sarek has assembled the representatives of thirty worlds to the Enterprise for a Mozart concert, one does not yell out "Freebird".
- Sir? That was you.

 

[SantaEddie74]

"I was once the best dice player at the Academy, Counselor.

So...wanna take a chance on my bald, rollin' ass?"

SERGEY:"Here...smell my finger!

That never gets old!"

 

[Diesel Micky Dolenz]

Picard: "So, your empathic abilities are back, eh? Very well, then. Guess which hand has your diaphragm."

Sergey: "Wesley just kept going like this and saying, 'I'm not touching you! I'm not touching you!' Eventually I snapped and tossed him into the plasma chamber."

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

With "the boy" at the academy, someone had to stand in and take a pounding.