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Trek XI Caption Contest #9: High Anxiety

Star Trip : IX don't know why I didn't think of this before I posted my first caption for this.

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Kirk : What, Do you expect me to talk ?

Nero : No, I expect you to die Mister Bond, 'er Kirk, yea, that's what I meant to say.
 
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Amanda: "Hurry, Tevye...the Russian soldiers are ruining Tzeitel's and Motel's wedding!"

Spock: "Mother!...One last time: Those aren't Russians, I don't know any 'Tzeitel' or 'Motel', my name is Spock and your name is Amanda, not Golde....And please stop dressing like that!"
[then, to himself]: Oy vey, it must suck getting old.
 
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Spock: Mother, they are on to us. They know you aren't a Vulcan.
Amanda: I was afraid your hiding the ears trick wouldn't work in reverse.

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Spock: But, Mother, I must save my sehlat!
Amanda: I'm sorry, Spock. There's no time.
Spock: He died once when he did not have to. I will not allow it to happen to him in this timeline.
Amanda: TAS is not canon, dear.
 
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Spock: "Roddenberry's spinning at an incredible rate! At the current rate, his grave-spinning will cause Vulcan to gravitationally collapse into itself!"

Amanda: "Damnit! I knew we shouldn't have made aesthetic changes that have no bearing on the quality of the acting and writing!"

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Kirk: "I'm getting too young for this shit!"
 
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Once Spock heard Kirk was dropping by his parents' house, he decided to get his mother to safety as quickly as possible.
 
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Spock: Mother, since our death is imminent, I have always been meaning to ask you, why does Johnny Depp have a "Wino Forever" tattoo?

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Chris Pine: Mr. Shatner! I'm sorry I pulled your toupee off! Quinto bet me I wouldn't. But, don't you think this is a little extreme?
 
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Amanda: Whatever happened to that nice T'Pring girl you were supposed to marry?
Spock: Not now, mother, I am trying to rescue you and father from imminent destruction.
Amanda: How 'bout a nice human girl? You know, it worked for your father.
Spock: Please.
 
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KIRK: (incredulous) Are you sure he's got one?
ROMULAN GUY: Oh, yes; it's very nice-a.
[aside to other Romulans]
(I told him we already got one.)
[other Romulans snicker]
 
Thank for the win I never won a caption contest before.

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Sarek: Spock this shortcut to the Country Kitchen Buffet is most illogical.

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Nero: Time is the err giant death beam burrowing into Vulcan in which you burn.
 
Not that this has anything to do with this contest, but last year I did a special Caption Contest Christmas Card so I decided to another one this year to wish you all a...

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From left to right, standing: Trigger-Happy Terrell, Cloud William, Carl Spock, Cloud Santas, Assless Chaps Picard, and Running Spock.

From left to right, sitting: Vomit, Grignak (the fish-looking coffee asswipe), Lefty the Tribble Salesman, Baby Jimmy, Flamethrower Data, Pointing Worf ("Sir, I protest! I am not a JOLLY MAN!"), and Barney the Testicles.

And here's a special animated Roxbury edition:

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