TOS Caption Contest #117 - Feet Don't Phallus Now

[Rat Boy]

Kor: "And if you flub a single line in my production of Peter Pan, I'll kill you!"

 

[Gertch]

"It's my new conversation piece. Obviously for awkward conversations..."

 

[the 4th hanson bro]

Spock: Mr. Sulu, I believe that your hands are supposed to be on the back of my shoulders for this to work correctly.

 

[scottydog]

Sulu: "Someone's coming! Quick, let me lift you a 7th time, as the sign says, before security arrests us for bad ballroom dancing."

 

[Gertch]

Spock: "The doctor was making me do naked jumping jacks while he was examining that young new muscular ensign with the funny smile. I believe I've never been more uncomfortable."
Sulu: "You stay here, I go take care of this."

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "The captain said those pictures would never be published, but he lied and then Commander Mitchell and Lieutenant Kelso started laughing at me. I believe I've never been more uncomfortable."

Sulu: "You stay here, I go take care of this."

 

[Maurice]

WALLACE: So this is microwave powered?
McCOY: No! Never put this dildo in a microwave, you damned fool!

 

[Turbo]

WALLACE: So this is microwave powered?
McCOY No! Never put this dildo in a microwave, you damned fool!

Spock: And then she shouted, "Don't tell me what to do!" and put it in the microwave. The horror!
Sulu: You stay here, I go take care of this.

 

[highlander]

McCoy: "When did the "Jiffy Pop" people get into the dildo market?"

 

[highlander]

Spock: "HEY!!! LOVE IS LOVE ASSHOLE!!!"

 

[highlander]

Kirk: "You call this porn?"
Kor: "No.....That's my sister on her birthday!"
Kirk: "Well....she's just lovely."

 

[highlander]

Bones: "If this is the candle, just how big is the fucking cake?"

 

[26138]

McCoy: "When did the "Jiffy Pop" people get into the dildo market?"

That's a hilarious caption!

 

[Atavachron]

Kirk: "Tennyson anyone?"


Atavachron

 

[Outpost4]

McCoy: "When did the "Jiffy Pop" people get into the dildo market?"

Wallace: Believe me, you don't want to see it pop.

 

[Nerys Myk]

MCCOY: Excellent workmanship Miss Wallace, but how do we convince Jim he needs an implant?

KIRK: You're breaking up with me?

SULU: You cant go off everytime you see the Captain and Gary together!

SPOCK: I just don't know what Jim sees in him!!! (sob) I wish he was dead!!!!!

 

[Turbo]

Kirk: This is a Klingon fly-swatter? I don't think I want to see a Klingon fly.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Sex Trek: The Geriatric Penetration

John Colicos: Stop counting your damned lines, Shatner, and get on with the scene.

Spock: Please, Mr. Sulu, not in front of the Klingons.

 

[Maurice]

WALLACE: And who is this for?
McCOY: Mother Horta. She has needs.
WALLACE: And that abomination behind me?
McCOY: For Spock. He's...complicated.

KIRK: What's all this "By Your Command" shit?

SPOCK: THE WOMEN!
SULU: Oh, who needs 'em, Mr. Hot...I mean, Spock?

 

[MANT!]

My God.. Dr Wallace, if it has this effect on tinfoil,what do you think it'll have on Captain Kirk?