Trek XI Caption Contest #6: Bromance

[Rat Boy]

Cho: "For God's sakes, people! I am not Mike Shinoda from Linkin Park!"

 

[26138]

Shat: Yeah, you think you're hot shit now, kid. But your life is about to end, son. Say hello to thirty years of signing autographs for pimple-faced freaks...

Pine: Out of the chair, old man.

Shat: Ten minutes?

Pine: Now.

Shat: Oh, allright. But tell me: do they make you shave your chest? It's a bitch growing back. All itchy.

Pine: I don't want to talk about it.

Shat: (smiles)

Shatner: I'M CAPTAIN KIRK!!!

 

[Cky]

Kirk and Spock look out the viewscreen in disgust.

Spock: Is that what I think it is?
Kirk: Yeah...
Spock: Rosie O'Donald in a bikini! Look away!!
Kirk: I... can't...

Sulu: He has to find someone to make out with in every god-damn movie.

Stop. Hammah' Time.

 

[Vassa]

2132,...2133,... 2134! 2134 light-bulbs to be precise, Captain.

 

[DRMidnite]

Cho: Stop calling me Roll-D!!!

 

[DRMidnite]

Kirk: Damn! She's hot!!!
Spock: And how, exactly, did you route Uhura's quarters to the main viewer?
Kirk: Tricks of the trade, son...
Chekov: He's my hero!

 

[cooleddie74]

CHO:"These virtual reality home-game tie ins are getting to be TOO damn much. Someone needs to call J.J. and Paramount!"

 

[cooleddie74]

Hanes Beefy Tees

For the Serious and Sexy Starfleet Officer on the Go(TM)

 

[cooleddie74]

"See? No hair.

We Vulcans do not masturbate the way you Earth humans do."

 

[seigezunt]

Yes, it is indeed forked. Like this.

 

[Rat Boy]

Shatner: "I just want to tell you both good luck; we're all counting on you."

 

[John Picard]

{offscreen music}
...I'm too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt
So sexy it hurts
And I'm too sexy for Milan too sexy for Milan
New York and Japan

And I'm too sexy for your party
Too sexy for your party
No way I'm disco dancing

I'm a model you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah
I do my little turn on the catwalk...

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Cho: Are you sure I have to wear this, JJ? It makes me a little gay like Takei.

 

[Classic Fan]

Kirk: "Well, there she is, Spock."
Spock: "There what is?"
Kirk: "The Enterprise, Spock. Now our training is complete on the USS Enterprise Rent-a-Ship, we now have our own ship.."
Spock: "You know what they give graduating cadets dont you, the relics of bygone times, glorified man-size play sets with blinky lights, primitive looking tech thats run by ensigns in hamster wheels in the lower decks, well live on Jelly Bean Factory food for five years. They give us old uniforms, ONE PIECE VELOUR numbers..."
Kirk: "OH well, it keeps the fans happy that weve worked in the explanation as to why we have a primitive looking ship in the sequels dont it. Heh?"

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Coming to NBC this week... Star Trek, the first adult space adventure!

 

[M'Sharak]

"Does NBC know this show is on?"​

 

[Amasov]

Kirk(Pine): I KILLED GORKON!!

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Shatner: With this new HDTV satellite, I can now see the latest Trek movie with crystal clear clarity.

-or-

Kirk (Pine): This is the Starship Enterprise, surrender and prepare to be boarded.
Kirk (Shatner): But I'm Captain Kirk!
Kirk (Pine): Not no more.

-or-
(for the canonistas)

Kirk (old): You are in violation of canon, leave this system or we will fire upon you.
Chekov: Photon torpedo's ready!

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock.

Scissors cuts paper covers rock crushes lizard poisons Spock smashes scissors, decapitates lizard eats paper disproves Spock vaporizes rock. And, as always, rock crushes scissors. Got it.

 

[M'Sharak]

Kirk(Pine): [over comm] Damn. Looks like a Circuit City store, doesn't it?
Spo(Q)uinto: [over comm] No sh-*ahem* ...affirmative.
Chekov: ... Circuit... Ceety?
Valeris: No idea.