Dodgy Airlines

[bod]

By far the dodgiest (is that even a word?) airline I have had experience of is Ryanair. They use mostly staff from all over europe & usually only one of the cabin crew is Irish, this leads to many strange incidents.

On one flight the Captain said before take off.

"Good Eve, this is Captain, we fly Dub to Edin. Get ready for de pick off."

Another incident different flight on the same route, the plane took off from Dublin & every time it hits turbulence about 10 mins in. The seatbelt sign came on & two Polish guys were doing the trolley. They grabbed all the stuff & told everyone we were landing. The trolley never reappeared for the duration of the flight. Everyone just burst out laughing.

I have loads of these, almost all Ryanair or as I like to call them 'ShakyJets.com'.

Anyone else got stuff like this to share?

 

[jgdst]

LOL dear oh dear De pick off is classic!

I was flying with American Airlines last year, we had to circle the airport for a few minutes while waiting for a runway to clear. Rather than sweep in gracefully, the pilot must have had a spasm or something and sent the plane into a nose dive for about five seconds.

I'm not usually a nervous flyer, and I'd spent the rest of the flight convincing my mate that flying is safe (this is a lie - I did aerodynamics calculations at uni and I'm not convinced by the numbers ). He knew that I knew that we were probably going to die when I gave him a expression.

It was so bad, someone actually soiled themselves. It was horrible. It was another 25 minutes before we got off the plane. Rather: It was another 25 minutes before we could breathe fresh air again.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Back when I was in high school, I was checking out colleges and I flew to Chicago to have a look at Northwestern. There were maybe 5 people on the plane (the only reason that flight existed at all was 'cuz they needed the plane in Chicago the next morning). So they put us all in first class with no extra charge.

The flight attendants were hilarious too, they were like "In case we fly into Lake Michigan, place your head between your knees and continue to pray."

 

[An Officer]

I've told this here before if I remember correctly, but here it goes again...

I boarded a BA flight in 1997, the morning after Princess Diana's death incidently, I only happened to find out she had passed away by over-hearing the passengers behind me. Anyway, we were coming in to land at heathrow, wheels out, nose tilted down, and as we were expecting to connect with the ground, the thing just whizzes straight back up with us again, the G-force slamming us all back into our seats as the pilot desperately tried to avoid a head-on collision... I was simply too dumb-struck to react in anyway... turns out the runway we were supposed to land on was currently occupied by a Boing 747 taking off and heading straight for us! A very near miss. And we saw it being reported on the news shortly after. There you go, my near death experience.

I still love flying though, because I'm always excited about where I'm going... thankfully I don't have to fly for business. I always bring a good book or my MP3 player to keep me amused. It would take more than that to make me a nervous flyer!

That was back when heathrow used to have only two short minutes between a plane taking off and the next one landing on the same runway... that has now been increased to a safer four minutes. The new terminal five has desperately been needed for a long time. It's only by god's grace that there hasn't been a major incident.

Someone somewhere in flight control that day was a very dangerous idiot, probably too busy having a chat rather than watching the freakin' planes carrying hundreds of people who's lives all depend on their vigilence!

 

[Lindley]

I've told this here before if I remember correctly, but here it goes again...

I boarded a BA flight in 1997, the morning after Princess Diana's death incidently, I only happened to find out she had passed away by over-hearing the passengers behind me. Anyway, we were coming in to land at heathrow, wheels out, nose tilted down, and as we were expecting to connect with the ground, the thing just whizzes straight back up with us again, the G-force slamming us all back into our seats as the pilot desperately tried to avoid a head-on collision... I was simply too dumb-struck to react in anyway... turns out the runway we were supposed to land on was currently occupied by a Boing 747 taking off and heading straight for us! A very near miss. And we saw it being reported on the news shortly after. There you go, my near death experience.

I still love flying though, because I'm always excited about where I'm going... thankfully I don't have to fly for business. I always bring a good book or my MP3 player to keep me amused. It would take more than that to make me a nervous flyer!

That was back when heathrow used to have only two short minutes between a plane taking off and the next one landing on the same runway... that has now been increased to a safer four minutes. The new terminal five has desperately been needed for a long time. It's only by god's grace that there hasn't been a major incident.

Someone somewhere in flight control that day was a very dangerous idiot, probably too busy having a chat rather than watching the freakin' planes with hundreds of people!

And that is why all pilots are required to know the Go-Around procedure inside and out before they get even their first rating, much less get anywhere near commercial level.

Back when I was in high school, I was checking out colleges and I flew to Chicago to have a look at Northwestern. There were maybe 5 people on the plane (the only reason that flight existed at all was 'cuz they needed the plane in Chicago the next morning). So they put us all in first class with no extra charge.

I was on a nearly empty plane from DC to Atlanta last summer. We didn't get upgrades, but everyone did get three seats to stretch out sideways on.

 

[bod]

These are great, if a little terrifying keep them coming.

Okay another Ryanair. Plane heading for Dublin, it's about 5 mins from landing & it suddenly feels like a car hit it, the noise was incredible. The rather inexperienced cabin crew start running around hysterically. People were crying, it was awful. There was a thunder storm & it was another 20 mins in those conditions before the plane landed. Two days later Ryanair released the info that the plane was struck by lightening.

Had this happened on Aer Lingus, they would still be smiling & telling you all will be well even if the plane was going down.

 

[Kira's Mom]

I've only had two problems when flying- Continental sent my luggage from Newark to D.C. instead of Denver, but they got it back to me the next day. On a Northwest flight returning from Europe, there was a small but smokey fire in the galley. No one told us what was going on until we landed, but everyone on the plane could smell it and we were sure something serious was happening. Not a huge fan of Northwest...Delta can have them.

Best airlines I ever flew on- TWA and Eastern, may they both rest in peace... My family would only fly them when I was young- their flights were always on time, they had the best prices from Newark to Louisville at the time (our usual departure/destination) the flight attendants were nice, never had luggage misplaced...(though TWA's food was sometimes icky). When I was little, I wanted to be a stewardess with Eastern when I grew up. Of course that dream was crushed in '91...

ETA- I just remembered another unpleasant experience- I was flying United one summer, and we hit turbulence from hell. It must have lasted an hour!

 

[Guartho]

Best airlines I ever flew on- TWA and Eastern, may they both rest in peace...

Thank you for your patronage. My Dad was a TWA pilot and one of the very few TWA employees to continue working after the American buy-out.

 

[Lindley]

I miss the days when each airline was a slightly different experience. I mean, there's still a little of that on the smaller ones; JetBlue provides satellite TV, and Independence air always put humor in their safety videos while they were around. But the big ones are all pretty much identical....

 

[Holdfast]

Anyone else got stuff like this to share?

Not really, but I do remember getting ripped off to buy a deck of cards on an EasyJet flight last year. Made the money back playing Blackjack with other passengers though.

 

[the 4th hanson bro]

Traveling for business has given me a lot of funny stories and wtf moments, but I wouldn't classify them or the airline as dodgy.

A couple of scary moments:

Flying Alitalia to Rome from JFK we hit clear air turbulence and dropped for a second or two, seemed much longer. There were drinks all over the ceiling and they seemed to drip for the rest of the flight.

Flying to Little Rock, Arkansas ahead of Hurricane Ike was one of the roughest landings I've had in a while. We bounced at least 3 times he was coming in so fast. I turned to my seatmate and said, "that was fun, let's do it again". He was pale.

Flown around a lot of thunderstorms, saw one off the wing that looked like the cloud from TMP. Wished I'd had a camera for that one.

 

[Holdfast]

Flying Alitalia to Rome from JFK we hit clear air turbulence and dropped for a second or two, seemed much longer. There were drinks all over the ceiling and they seemed to drip for the rest of the flight.

Nah, random liquid dripping from the ceiling is just par for the course when flying Alitalia.

 

[An Officer]

^ The Italian hostesses are worth it.

 

[CaptJimboJones]

Southwest Airlines flights are always hilarious. The flight attendants crack jokes and sing during the announcements, and make fun of other airlines. I was on a SW flight once and the captain got on and said we were waiting to take off behind an American Airlines flight that was taking too long, but not to worry - he was a former Air Force jock and he'd shoot it down once we were in the air. Everyone applauded.

 

[the 4th hanson bro]

^ The Italian hostesses are worth it.

I think the crew on the plane I was on was the inaugural crew for Alitalia.

KLM-Royal Dutch Moscow to Amsterdam, that was worth it.

Flying Alitalia to Rome from JFK we hit clear air turbulence and dropped for a second or two, seemed much longer. There were drinks all over the ceiling and they seemed to drip for the rest of the flight.

Nah, random liquid dripping from the ceiling is just par for the course when flying Alitalia.

I thought about stopping the story at "Flying Alitalia".

A fun landing approach is into Washington DC, Reagan Airport. Since the city is a no-fly zone, the approach takes you down the Potomac River with a sharp turn onto final and then landing. Great fun.

 

[An Officer]

I think the crew on the plane I was on was the inaugural crew for Alitalia.

Then they must have had their best ponies out.

 

[Holdfast]

^ The Italian hostesses are worth it.

There is truth in what you say.

Air France has pretty foxy stewardesses too (top uniforms too... )

 

[Lindley]

^ The Italian hostesses are worth it.

I think the crew on the plane I was on was the inaugural crew for Alitalia.

KLM-Royal Dutch Moscow to Amsterdam, that was worth it.

Flying Alitalia to Rome from JFK we hit clear air turbulence and dropped for a second or two, seemed much longer. There were drinks all over the ceiling and they seemed to drip for the rest of the flight.

Nah, random liquid dripping from the ceiling is just par for the course when flying Alitalia.

I thought about stopping the story at "Flying Alitalia".

A fun landing approach is into Washington DC, Reagan Airport. Since the city is a no-fly zone, the approach takes you down the Potomac River with a sharp turn onto final and then landing. Great fun.

I've flown out of there, not in though. Since the planes would need special permission to enter the DC FRZ (even over the river), I wonder why they still operate the place commercially.....

 

[Kira's Mom]

Best airlines I ever flew on- TWA and Eastern, may they both rest in peace...

Thank you for your patronage. My Dad was a TWA pilot and one of the very few TWA employees to continue working after the American buy-out.

I was very sad when TWA was bought out...but I almost cried when Eastern went out of business! One of the saddest things I saw on T.V. that year was a news story about Eastern's last ever flight- with the flight attendants coming off of the plane in tears. *sniff* Damn, now I have that "Number one to the sun" jingle stuck in my head...

If I ever fly again, I wonder which airlines to avoid. I've heard nothing but bad stuff about U.S. Airways lately...seems like no matter what they call themselves (originally Allegheny Airlines, then USAir, of course), or who they take over (PSA and Piedmont for starters) , they suck.

Flying to Little Rock, Arkansas ahead of Hurricane Ike was one of the roughest landings I've had in a while. We bounced at least 3 times he was coming in so fast. I turned to my seatmate and said, "that was fun, let's do it again". He was pale.

My sister just missed Hurricane Dolly when she flew home from Costa Rica this summer. *shudders*

 

[John Clark]

There is truth in what you say.

Air France has pretty foxy stewardesses too (top uniforms too... )

The good thing about the office I worked in was that stewards/stewardesses from various airlines seemed to have their training in the same building as our company was located. That was always helpful in cheering people up