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Caption Contest 11: Bound and Gagged

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Navaar: The weird thing is - he was already this way when I came in.

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When Starfleet cuts fitness trainers from the budget...
 
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Archer (thinking): How does it go already? "My mind to your mind..." Controol... "Archer is sexy. Archer is irresistible. I want Archer. I want to be his sex slave and lick him all the way down to his toes."

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Malcolm (thinking): I hope he never realizes we're standing on different gravity plates.


Dominic Keating (thinking): Oh, don't overdo it, Anthony. You have the same balsa wood props as I do.


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BAKULA: What? We were just running our lines!
:guffaw::guffaw:^^ Almost wet my panties laughing! ^^ :guffaw::guffaw:


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Archer: What? Haven't you ever heard of female ejeculation?
 
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Orion: BITCH!
Archer: You just not just call my 1st officer a bitch...
T'Pol: I show you a bitch [jumps her]
Archer: [steps back] No,no Malcolm you know we don't stop cat fights here.
 
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NAVAAR:"Go get your own.

This doughy, whiny hunk of easily-beaten-up man is mine."


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"FEEL the burn, Travis...

FEEL IT...

Like you felt the searing pain of Gannon breaking up with you before we left Earth on our mission."
 
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``It's weird ... on television your skin is green, but in person it looks like gold velor.''

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Over in the corner there Howie Mandel tries to get himself in shape for the Orions by eating corn chips and watching the Buccaneers game.
 
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ARCHER:"Avoid Admiral Cooleddie over there.

Guy will wear YOU out."


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TRAVIS:"Damn ginseng extract!

The manufacturers lied!!"
 
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Archer: Did Hoshi just roll her eyes at me?
Navaar: She's got a condition. It's called being a total bitch.

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Guy on Treadmill: My heart will go on
Guy on Ball: Splat splat splat splat splat
Travis: Bllluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrghhhh!
Reed: Note to self, get up an hour earlier.

 
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ARCHER:"Tell the restauraunt that Miss Navaar here has a legitimate grievance against the company!

Aldebaraan shellmouth platter ISN'T supposed to turn someone green!"


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BALD GUY:"Great.

My workout time gets scheduled at the same time as Limey Boy's and the Great Brown Virgin's."
 
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Archer: (Thinking) Dead puppies, Baseball, Grandma's flem, T'Pol ...... Oooh that one works!


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The guys in the gym trying to enjoy their work-out where one step away from killing Travis if he continued to belt out 'Eye of the tiger'
 
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Orion Slave Girl: Captain Archer, is that a Phase Pistol in your uniform or are you happy to see me?



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Mayweather: OUCH! I think I just tore my asshole.
Reed: You could've at least waited for me to do it for you.
 
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E-Z Archa: Me n ma bitch ain't feelin yo diss, Holmes. Run home to yo momma, foo, befo' I tell you sum'tin bout dem gazelles!

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Travis: ARRGHHH YOU EVER SEEN THAT MOVIE, "TEETH"?! ARRRGGHHHHHHHH
[long pause]
Malcolm:...Nope...
 
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ARCHER:"Odd.

I could have SWORN that Hoshi didn't have a black velvet Elvis painting hanging there before."




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TRAVIS:"YOW!!!!!!!

I think I just blew my innie into an outie!!"
 
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BALD GUY: Yo Travis, no need to try so hard. You're working out next to short, skinny, pale Englishman.
 
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ARCHER: I didn't think Orion pheromones worked on women.

ORION: That's my sister Sheila, she's uh....different.
 
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ARCHER:"GET YOUR OWN!!!

Besides...this one's got two vaginas. One for pitching. The other for catching."
 
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Archer: Ensign Mayweather, when you said you wanted Phlox to perform a sex reassignment on you. I didn't know that included changing your species as well.

-or-
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Archer: Um... there's an extra penis here. Is that right?
Orion: Two for the price of one, skipper.
 
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