Can I hire a writer?

[Technobuilder]

Based on this conversation, I've decided to post a "Trek Writer for Hire" ad on craigslist:

Reply to: job-170174656@craigslistt.org
Date: 2008-09-26, 8:07AM CDT


I am the very model of a Star Trek novel writer dude
You never know what twists and turns my newest story might include
I spend my days and evenings working in a state of solitude
Wondering if the plots I hatch will just completely come unglued

(He wonders if the plots he hatches will completely come unglued!)

You give me all your money and a story I will weave for you
It will conform to canon and just maybe fill a gap or two
With all your favorite characters and nasty foes for you to boo
If the check you write is bogus then you know I'm coming after you

(You write a bogus check and he will beat the crap right out of you!)

• Location: Kansas City, MO
• Compensation: Fees set when contracted to do the work.
• This is a contract job.
• Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
• Please, no phone calls about this job!
• Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 170174656



(See what a lack of sleep does?)

Thanks, I needed that.

 

[PaulSimpson]

(See what a lack of sleep does?)

Was there ever a Captain Proton musical episode??

Winning the award for "Mental Images We Really Didn't Need" today....

To sort of quote Mr Mack, you have NO idea what else we've got planned for the Voyager special... Dayton, you know what has to be done here...

 

[TerriO]

Was there ever a Captain Proton musical episode??

Winning the award for "Mental Images We Really Didn't Need" today....

To sort of quote Mr Mack, you have NO idea what else we've got planned for the Voyager special... Dayton, you know what has to be done here...

Wouldn't it cost a whole lot of money to put those sound circuits in each issue?

 

[PaulSimpson]

Winning the award for "Mental Images We Really Didn't Need" today....

To sort of quote Mr Mack, you have NO idea what else we've got planned for the Voyager special... Dayton, you know what has to be done here...

Wouldn't it cost a whole lot of money to put those sound circuits in each issue?

Terri, Terri, Terri... underestimating me again. These nice men in the white coats are telling me that we can do anything we want....
And, on a slightly more serious note, that *is* what websites and MP3s were invented for !

 

[JeremyW]

To sort of quote Mr Mack, you have NO idea what else we've got planned for the Voyager special... Dayton, you know what has to be done here...

Wouldn't it cost a whole lot of money to put those sound circuits in each issue?

Terri, Terri, Terri... underestimating me again. These nice men in the white coats are telling me that we can do anything we want....
And, on a slightly more serious note, that *is* what websites and MP3s were invented for !

I dunno about MP3s, but I remember Rick Berman saying that the purposes of websites (in general, the Internet) was to fulfill to desires: the desire for porn and Star Trek. I remember reading it in the back of the Broken Bow hardcover...I'm glad the Internet's gotten a lot more varied since then.

But a Captain Proton musical rock opera? Hmm... I can't do rock, but I haven't whipped out a parody in years. I guess it's time for one.

THE BRIDE OF CHAOTICA (sung to "The Phantom Of The Opera")

ARACHNIA
In sleep he beguiled me
I thought him tame
But when the passions flare
He calls my name
And I rule by his side
In black and white
The bride of Chaotica is I!
Arachnia Janeway

CHAOTICA
You are my desirious queen
You are my life
The fifth dimension is ours tonight
The ninth will be nigh
With my Death Ray gun
These worlds will fall
The Bride of Chaotica and I
Will rule the Cosmos!

ARACHNIA
Those who have sniffed me know
I'm too good to last
'Cause when my phermones go

CHAOTICA
Don't talk like that!
You're no Britney Spears
You're no common whore!
The Bride of Chaotica you are!
My noble maiden!

SATAN'S ROBOT and LONZO
Beware the Bride of Chaotica!
Beware the Bride of Chaotica!

CHAOTICA
In all my fantasies
I always knew
You loved me, Spider Queen!

ARACHNIA
You bet I do!
I may be a Size Four!
But that's what monochrome's for
It hides the age and the twenty pounds
The camera's aim for!

CHAOTICA (spoken)
You are Arachnia, Queen of the Spider People!

ARACHNIA
I am the Bride of Chaotica!

CHAOTICA (spoken)
Yes, sing of me!

ARACHNIA
Doooo do do de do do do dooooo
Doooo do do de do do do dooooo
Doooo do do de do do do dooooo

CHAOTICA (spoken)
Hey, that's not singing of me! Do it again

ARACHNIA
Doooo do do de do do do doooo
Dooooo! Doooo! Doooo!

CHAOTICA (yelling)
Sing it right!

ARACHNIA (spoken)
Screw this. Computer, end program!

 

[garamet]

Seriously. How much does it cost? I have an idea, something I would like to read. I could sum it up in like 3 or 4 sentences. Like $10,000. Would someone write me a 400 page novel for 10k? Thanks.

I do ghostwriting. But not at that price. Email me and we'll talk.

 

[PaulSimpson]

I dunno about MP3s, but I remember Rick Berman saying that the purposes of websites (in general, the Internet) was to fulfill to desires: the desire for porn and Star Trek. ... [snip]
THE BRIDE OF CHAOTICA (sung to "The Phantom Of The Opera")

That's only the Star Trek bit...

 

[JeremyW]

^ I'm sorry this one didn't work out for you. I thought there was enough reference to some of the gags of Bride of Chaotica! to keep it going, but apparently not...sorry about that.

 

[PaulSimpson]

^ I'm sorry this one didn't work out for you. I thought there was enough reference to some of the gags of Bride of Chaotica! to keep it going, but apparently not...sorry about that.

Oh it worked !

 

[JeremyW]

^ I'm sorry this one didn't work out for you. I thought there was enough reference to some of the gags of Bride of Chaotica! to keep it going, but apparently not...sorry about that.

Oh it worked !

Then I must be a douche and do not understand why the evil sign is there...I thought you didn't like it or something; that it didn't fit into the Captain Proton Musical Hour or something like that.

 

[PaulSimpson]

^ I'm sorry this one didn't work out for you. I thought there was enough reference to some of the gags of Bride of Chaotica! to keep it going, but apparently not...sorry about that.

Oh it worked !

Then I must be a douche and do not understand why the evil sign is there...I thought you didn't like it or something; that it didn't fit into the Captain Proton Musical Hour or something like that.

Sorry - miscommunication here! It was an evil grin...

 

[doubleohfive]

(See what a lack of sleep does?)

Was there ever a Captain Proton musical episode??

OYG! That would be great...would it be a rock opera?

Even better. A rock cantata.

 

[Marco Palmieri]

I do ghostwriting. But not at that price. Email me and we'll talk.

You're gonna finish Unspoken Truth first, right?

 

[TerriO]

I do ghostwriting. But not at that price. Email me and we'll talk.

You're gonna finish Unspoken Truth first, right?

*bites tongue*

*goes back to work on project due tomorrow*