The Penis Gambit

[RobertScorpio]

My wife has a whicked sense of humor. And last night while we were watching America's Got Talent she suddenly had an interesting take on Star Trek. Did you notice how the size of the Starships were getting bigger and bigger...

The Excelsor might be the same size of the Enterprise, but it certainly looks bigger. Then you skip forward to TNG and Jesus Christ, the sucker was pretty big. Yes, I know, Enterprise E may not be as big as the D, but it certainly looks longer she noticed.

But I had to protest? I asked her about the Defiant and the Voyager. They certainly weren't bigger than the ones that came before. Then she nudged me in her loving way and said, "gee honey, they only prove that it doesn't matter how big the starship is, its how you use it."

Now, I'm not sure if she was giving me a subtle hint or not. But now that pulse cannon on the Defiant makes more since to me everyday.

Rob
Scorpio

 

[Admiral Buzzkill]

I don't think anyone has ever remarked on this kind of thing before.

 

[RobertScorpio]

I don't think anyone has ever remarked on this kind of thing before.

Oh, leave it to my wife. But she did add that Picard must have suffered from Penis Envy because he had not one, but two, of the biggest Starships. And from his life of solitude, I would venture to say she may have something there.

I think Helen Johanson and the other women Kirk met in TOS were not only speaking about Kirk's 'larger' than life character traits...I think his reputation was more like that of John Holmes or Dirk Diggler.

Rob
Scorpio

 

[loldrey]

That's probably one of the most nerd-erotic things I've ever heard... but I think she was really reaching for a way to turn you on without getting naked.

 

[Wonderlust King]

wow this forum has reached a new level of immaturity. props robert

 

[RobertScorpio]

wow this forum has reached a new level of immaturity. props robert

I try..I try. But what about it? The topic is not new from me. I was at a convention back in the 90s and Armin Shimerman joked about it with the crowd and we all laughed...

Rob
scorpio

 

[Chuckling]

Works for cars!

But where your wife's theory really takes flight is when we consider the ships are assigned to their Captains. In which case, what does that say about the admiralty's view of their personnel?

Does this sub-consciously explain some of Janeway's more "unusual" decisions? Or does that have more to do with the attitudes of TPTB towards women? (Heaven help their personal women when/if they go menopausal is all I can say, if that's the case!)

Chuckling

 

[Kemaiku]

In the 24th Century, over-compensation has reached crisis point.

 

[RobertScorpio]

In the 24th Century, over-compensation has reached crisis point.

Exactly the point...though my black friend wonders why Sisko was stuck with the smallest ship of them all...ooooohhh..awwwww..where are the thought police now??? (um, hello Silver Surfer!!)

Rob
Scorpio

 

[Kemaiku]

Yes and lets not get into Voyagers "spreading action".

 

[Chuckling]

In the 24th Century, over-compensation has reached crisis point.

Exactly the point...though my black friend wonders why Sisko was stuck with the smallest ship of them all...ooooohhh..awwwww..where are the thought police now??? (um, hello Silver Surfer!!)

Rob
Scorpio

And what does that say about Chakotay who wasn't given a ship after his last one destroyed, by a controlling woman with a bigger one?

Like TPTB had serious personal issues.

Chuckling

 

[RobertScorpio]

In the 24th Century, over-compensation has reached crisis point.

Exactly the point...though my black friend wonders why Sisko was stuck with the smallest ship of them all...ooooohhh..awwwww..where are the thought police now??? (um, hello Silver Surfer!!)

Rob
Scorpio

And what does that say about Chakotay who wasn't given a ship after his last one destroyed, by a controlling woman with a bigger one?

Like TPTB had serious personal issues.

Chuckling

I hadn't thought of that..but yeah!!! I get it..

Rob
Scorpio

 

[Temis the Vorta]

wow this forum has reached a new level of immaturity. props robert

Just to chime in because I have nothing better to do right now, I've always though that the Star Trek spaceships were notably non-phallic in design, which is particularly striking if you compare them with the sci fi rocket-ship designs in vogue in the 50s and 60s (not to mention in real life, but those have an engineering-based excuse I spose).

 

[RobertScorpio]

wow this forum has reached a new level of immaturity. props robert

Just to chime in because I have nothing better to do right now, I've always though that the Star Trek spaceships were notably non-phallic in design, which is particularly striking if you compare them with the sci fi rocket-ship designs in vogue in the 50s and 60s (not to mention in real life, but those have an engineering-based excuse I spose).

But they are getting bigger....though, i must say. And they seem to slide into those docking structures pretty easily.

Rob
scorpio

 

[Space Cowboy]

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar...

edit: Had VOY on in the background on Spike, and heard Q say "Mine's bigger!" only to have Janeway respond with "Not big enough."

 

[RobertScorpio]

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar...

Hmmmm...I bet that's the line Bill Clinton uses too...let's ask Monica and Gina!!!

Rob
Scorpio

 

[Yeffrey]

If this completely whacked out theory has even a microscopic basis in truth then its all about the cock* of the walk, and I do believe that V'Ger owns everyone in that department at over 82 AUs in diameter.














*Rooster


PUN DEFINITELY INTENDED

 

[Carpe Occasio]

Actual screenshot from "What Are Little Girls Made Of?"

What do you see?

The prop guys must have been ROTFL.

 

[RobertScorpio]

Trust me...Star Trek's next VIAGRA pill will be this new movie, and something tells me the Enterprise will be filmed as erect as ever..

Rob

 

[Kemaiku]

How do you think those nacelle pylons stay up?