TOS Caption Contest #88 - A Quicky

[The Squire of Gothos]

When Starfleet was looking for volunteers for testing the new gay bomb, Sulu was all too eager to give it a try.

Spock; Curious Captain, the bomb hasn't yet been detonated.

 

[Outpost4]

Normally, in the barn they did it horsey style.

 

[Outpost4]

"I don't have to tell you, men, that nowadays it's tough finding recruits to be Santa's helpers..."

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "I want three of you stationed in this room and three outside, until we find out who smeared that feces on my wall ..."

-- or --

Kirk: "No. What's a 'Cleveland Steamer'?"

 

[Diesel Micky Dolenz]

Kirk: "Alright, men, let's go over this one more time. Don't step on exploding rocks. Don't get shot by poisonous dart plants. Avoid rock-eating acid monsters, lightning bolts, identity-challenged robot ships, possessed children and getting turned into crushable, crystalline blocks. Am I forgetting anything?"

Leslie: "Blood-sucking clouds, sir?"

 

[Rat Boy]

Leslie: "Is this gonna be a standup fight, sir, or another bug-hunt?"

Kirk: "All we know is that there is still is no contact with the miners, and that a Horta may be involved."

Vinci: "Excuse me, a what?"

Kirk: "HORTA."

Hadley: "It's a bug-hunt."

 

[Gertch]

"Remember, there's safety in numbers. So I'll need you all to stay here and protect Mr Spock and myself while Sulu checks out the lowest levels."

 

[Rat Boy]

"Remember, there's safety in numbers. So I'll need you all to stay here and protect Mr Spock and myself while Sulu checks out the lowest levels."

Sulu: "Still looking, Captain!"

 

[cooleddie74]

"Statistically, most of us won't be coming back from this mission.

Mr. Spock and I will be the exceptions to that rule.

Dismissed."

 

[cooleddie74]

Love means never having to say 'I'm Horny.'"

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: And you're quite sure this is all of them?

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK: "Finish your wills and contact your families now.

Just...trust me on this one. 'Kay?"

 

[cooleddie74]

FARMER'S INSURANCE OF REGULUS V

For when the alien spores come and make you One.(TM)

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "One of these Leslies is not like the other."

Spock: "Captain, I believe one of them is actually a 'Wesley.'"

 

[Outpost4]

Kirk: Thank you, Lt. Giotto. This should be enough spares for this landing party.

 

[cooleddie74]

"Some of you won't be making it back alive from this mission, gentlemen. That's why we've given this assignment the operational code name SACRIFICE THE REDDIES.

Any questions? Yes. You there, Ensign Deadmeat...I meant Dumont."

 

[cooleddie74]

On Ponderosa V, mating season came with every dinner bell.

 

[M'Sharak]

"'I don't know, sir.' I want to know who threw the first punch!"
"Erm... wrong episode, sir."
" ... "
"Pergium, sir.The pump?"
"Right."

 

[Nerys Myk]

"'I don't know, sir.' I want to know who threw the first punch!"

"It was Leslie, sir."

 

[hmbnimbus]

Captain Kirk was the first to welcome the three pairs of Siamese security officers onto the Enterprise.