*********************
Starfleet Academy
Earth
Two weeks later….
“How are you doing?” Lt. Calvin Hudson gently asked. Terrence ignored the question, focusing on a bed of recently planted Broadway lilies.
“That Boothby still has his touch,” Glover wistfully replied.
“I see you’re still running away from this right now,” Hudson surmised, punctuating his observation with a frown.
“You know Boothby never cared for me,” Terrence admitted, his voice and his attention far away. “I never really had time for him, whenever he wanted to talk about plants or whatever. I was always so busy, always had somewhere to be, something to do.”
“Terrence, what does that got to do with what just happened? I think you need to address it, if for no other reason to get it out of your system.”
Suddenly Glover turned on his old friend, his eyes burning with anger. “You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about!” He snapped. “It’s Tryla that’s going through hell right now. She has to contend with all the damage that thing inside her caused, all the deaths. It’s hell right now for her, and I can’t do a damn thing about it.”
“You’re right,” Hudson said. “Especially when you’re carrying around so much anger for her right now.”
Terrence pulled back, stunned and scared. “You’re talking crazy Cal.”
“Terrence, don’t you think I’ve known you long enough to see through that lie,” Hudson said, with less venom than the charge should’ve warranted. He tried to place a hand on Glover’s shoulder, but Terrence kept his distance. “Terrence, on some level you can’t separate Captain Scott from that neural parasite that was inside her. On some level, you think she brought this on herself, that she wasn’t strong enough to resist the parasite.”
“That’s not true!” Terrence raged.
“Yes it is,” Hudson replied calmly. “You blame her.”
“No, no, I don’t,” Glover declared with lessening force. He turned away from Cal. “That’s not true,” he said far more softly.
“You see a lot of yourself in Captain Scott, and vice versa. You can’t help but wonder if you too would’ve succumbed to the parasites. You used to see a mirror reflection of strength and ambition in the captain, now you’re seeing your vulnerabilities, your weaknesses, and you can’t stand that.”
Glover’s shifted his jaw, trying to think of a response, but he couldn’t manage one. Eventually he said, “When did you become a counselor?”
Hudson smiled. “I’m a jack of all trades.”
“I see,” Terrence replied, mulling over Cal’s words. Terrence, Cal, and Ben Sisko had formed a life-long troika after rooming together at the Academy. Of the three, Cal had often proven to be the most level-headed and sensible. Though Glover wanted desperately to deny the truth of Hudson’s words, he just couldn’t. So he knew the adult thing to do was to examine Cal’s words, and try to figure out how much truth was really in them.
“I don’t know about you, but this walk down memory lane has made me hungry,” Cal said, rubbing his stomach for emphasis. “I promised Gretchen that we would join her parents for dinner in Bavaria.”
“Cal, you shouldn’t have,” Glover said, even though he really didn’t want to be alone right now.
“Yeah right,” Cal said. “Come on, let’s go.”
**********************
USS Renegade
Main Bridge
McKinley Station
Commander Holmes stiffly placed the third pin on Glover’s collar. “Congratulations Lt. Commander Glover,” he said, with a washed out drawl. The man had aged years in the span of a couple weeks.
Glover nodded. “Thank you sir,” he replied with equal stiffness. The captain had handed off the duty of Terrence’s promotion to Holmes. Since the neural parasites had been defeated and the inquiry had cleared her of wrong doing, the captain had been holed up in her cabin. Holmes had assumed command and was guiding the ship through the refit needed after the battle with the Thomas Paine.
The bridge crew clapped, even Lt. Gart. The inquiry board had also absolved the Nausicaan of responsibility for the destruction of the Raines, but Glover couldn’t, and he was certain Commander Holmes never would. The neural parasite’s actions had divided the crew, and Terrence wasn’t sure if they could ever be united again. He did know that it would take strong action on the captain’s part, and at the moment she refused to do so. But he was going to rectify that.
“Commander, may I be excused?” Terrence asked. Holmes regarded him silently, his bushy eyebrows knitting in consternation.
“Do you think it’s wise?” He said quietly, so that only Glover could hear the question.
“I do.” Glover replied.
“You’re excused.”
**************************
USS Renegade
Captain’s Quarters
“I don’t have time for this,” Captain Scott said listlessly. She turned back to the vid clips of her family.
“Make time,” Terrence said. He walked in front of the ancient television. Tryla groaned and tried to look around him. Eventually she picked up the small device she had told him ancient Earthers called a remote control to turn off the set.
“What do you want?” She asked.
“You know what I want,” Terrence stated.
“I’m not in the mood for that either,” she replied, causing Glover to sigh.
“You know that’s not what I’m talking about,” he groused.
“Then what?”
“The crew needs you,” Terrence said. “We can’t do this without you.”
“I’ve given almost all of my life to Starfleet, and this ship,” Tryla replied. “I think they can go without me for a while.”
“How long is a while?”
“I don’t know.”
“This doesn’t sound like you. This doesn’t sound like you at all.”
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to ‘sound’ like,” Tryla hotly retorted, “especially after that monster took over my vocal cords and made me a murder innocent people.”
“It’s not your fault,” Glover said. “No one blames you.”
“I blame me,” the captain poked her chest. “I-I tried to resist. I really did, but it was so…it was everywhere, I-I couldn’t escape, I couldn’t do anything.” She lowered her head, her chest heaving as the tears fell. Glover sat beside her and pulled her into his arms. She tried to pull away, but he wouldn’t let her.
“We’ll work through this, I promise,” he declared.
“We can’t,” Tryla said. “This is something I have to do.”
“I want to help, I want to be there for you, let me,” Terrence begged.
“No, it’s too late, things are different now,” the captain replied.
“Please don’t say that.”
“This…thing between us should’ve never happened. I can live with the doubt in other’s eyes, but not yours,” Tryla admitted.
“I don’t doubt you,” Glover said.
“Yes, you do,” the captain replied. “And you should. It was I who gave the order to fire on the Thomas Paine, to destroy the Raines. It was my hands that killed Gerri and hurt you. I feel so dirty, so unclean. I just want to scour the filth from my skin and my soul, but I don’t know how.”
“Let me help you,” Terrence pleaded again.
“The best way for you to help me is to resume your post Mr. Glover,” she replied with a cold formality, “and forget that there was ever anything between us. The relationship was a mistake, and it’s now a liability. One I can’t afford right now.”
Terrence reared back, struck by the woman’s words. “You don’t mean that. Tryla we love each other.”
“So?” She asked. “You knew one day that the demands of the uniform might require us to go our separate ways.”
“This is not that time,” Terrence said. “You need me, I need you, more than ever right now.”
“No, what we both need is to get back to business,” Tryla said. “To the constant self-improvement that makes us winners. I need to rebuild my sense of self, something that parasite stripped away from me, but I have to do it by myself.”
Terrence shook his head in disagreement.
“I’m not going to change my mind,” she stated. “Go back to the bridge Terrence, and to your first, true love: your career. I made the mistake of making a detour, and it nearly got you killed.”
“Tryla, it’s not…”
“You can say it’s not my fault all you want, but if I believe it is, then it is,” the captain replied. “You’re dismissed.”
Terrence’s throat closed up at the dismissal and a pain lanced through his heart. He looked at her deeply, his gaze imploring, but Tryla’s expression was inscrutable, different, alien. He had never seen that look before and it frightened him. For a second he wondered if the alien parasite had truly been extracted from the captain, and in that instant he understood what she meant. The trust had been severed between them.
He got off the couch and left Tryla Scott’s private life without saying another word.
.
