50th Anniversary Viewing (Part 2)
Emergency!
"The Girl on the Balance Beam"
Originally aired January 17, 1976
Wiki said:
A teen-aged Olympic hopeful is injured when she falls off a balance beam. The firefighters rescue a woman trapped on a wire at a movie studio, victims of a traffic accident, and people trapped in a fire at a rail yard, which involves ammonium nitrate.
Coach Jenny Carter (Patricia Morrow) is overseeing her gymnastics class when titularly positioned 14-year-old Nancy Benedict (Patti Cohoon) tries to surprise her with a backwards somersault, but misses the beam and lands head-first on the mat. Squad 51 arrives with no comical subplot setup. She comes to and tries to resist being put on oxygen for transport, but as she attempts to demonstrate her wellness with another somersault, she goes unconscious again. Revived at Rampart, Nancy's concerned about being able to participate in Olympic tryouts that weekend. Her father, architect Alan Benedict (Charles Knox Robinson), arrives, acting irate and engaging in a dramatic argument with Coach Carter at the outdoor cafeteria.
In the squad, Johnny's musing about trying the balance beam (Chekhov's comical subplot setup) when Station 51 is called to rescue a tutu-and-wings-clad young actress named Karen (Andrea Bell) who's trapped dangling from a wire on a movie studio set. The paramedics come down to her from a catwalk using their lines and harnesses, but she also struggles with them before going docile, so they have to swing their way back to her. Her cable breaks, forcing Roy to carry her while he's lowered down. The flakey first-time director (Sylvia [Dorothy Schott], I presume), is more concerned about the girl's performance than her condition.
Brackett and Morton inform Mr. Benedict that Nancy has a minor concussion and possible inner-ear problem. Having learned of Brackett's reputation, Benedict insists that Brackett stay on the case rather than having their own doctor take over. The doctors question why Nancy's trying out so young and it becomes clear that he's the one driving her ambition. They're concerned that her body isn't yet able to handle the moves she's trying, which comes up when Johnny asks Morton how she's doing.
We again get a conspicuous lack of station subplot beats when we cut to an exterior shot as the 51 crew is called to a VW Beetle that's crashed into the back of a delivery truck. The drunk driver, Jasper (Ronnie Schell), is stuck in his smoldering bug; so the crew has to spray the interior with him inside, then cover him in a blanket as they break out the windshield and use the jaws with a chain attached to pull the dash back so they can free him. The paramedics proceed to examine the stumbling and chatty driver. When the ambulance arrives, he's loaded on a stretcher and given a ride to Rampart.
When Dix pays Nancy a visit, the girl asks about becoming a nurse and shows Dix her scrapbook. It comes up how her mother is dead and her father is extra-dedicated to serving as sole parent. Coach Carter visits with flowers but is concerned about potentially running into Mr. Benedict. She tells Dix and off-duty Kel how he drives Nancy by emotionally manipulating her, comparing him to the worst Little League parents. The next day Mr. B comes to pick Nancy up and steers her into competing on Saturday despite her doubts. Nancy invites Dix on the way out, which raises red flags. Back-on-duty Brackett takes Mr. Benedict aside to lecture him about the danger posed by Nancy's inner-ear problem, which she needs months to recover from. He's emphatic that she has to keep competing.
On Saturday, Dix, Joe, and Mike watch the televised tryouts in the staff lounge. When Nancy tries the same move as in the intro, she gets the same results, but this time hitting the beam and with instant replay. Cut to an ambulance followed by Squad 51 bringing Nancy back to Rampart, where X-rays reveal that her skull is fine, but she has a broken collar bone and an arm fracture that could involve permanent nerve damage. Brackett lectures Benedict again about driving Nancy to be a champion.
We're reminded that this is a shared universe when the paramedics are discussing stopping by a taco stand just in time for Station 51 and other units to be assigned to a train car fire on a pier. (The closed captioning seems to think that Battalion 14 is from Italy.) An engineer (Robert Hackman) informs Stanley that a connected tank car is carrying ammonium nitrate. The potential danger of the car going up doesn't deter the firefighters from taking the opportunity to display their pride.

While the crew is working to disconnect the cars so they can be pulled apart, Roy is dazed by an eruption, so Johnny takes him back to the squad for treatment.
At Rampart, the Benedicts inform Dix how they've come to terms with her situation, resolving to attend the Olympics rather than compete in them.
They must've been painting the station sets that week or something.
The Mary Tyler Moore Show
"Once I Had a Secret Love"
Originally aired January 17, 1976
Frndly said:
Lou tells Mary he spent the night with Sue Ann and is furious when his secret fling becomes the hot topic around the newsroom.
Lou comes into the newsroom unshaven, disheveled in a plaid suit, and in an unusually foul mood. He orders Mary to dispose of his booze stash (later taking it back) because of the things guys do when they're drunk. He proceeds to explain to her how he spent the night at someone else's place.
Lou: Mary, do you know what it's like to wake up next to a stranger?
Mary: Sure. I mean...I can certainly imagine...what it must be like... [stammering while trailing off]
Mary treats Lou like he's overreacting while he emphasizes that the person doesn't mean anything to him; and he doesn't want to tell Mary who the woman is because he thinks Mary would shun him. When a note from his titular fling drops out of his pants, Mary recognizes it as Sue Ann's penmanship...which evokes an outburst of laughter. Mary promises not to tell anyone.
Things get very awkward for Lou when Sue Ann pays a visit to his office, effusive about her side of the experience. He also asks her not to tell anyone. When Murray gives Mary a ride home, he pesters her about what was wrong with Lou. She can't help hinting how big it is, and he maneuvers her into indirectly telling him with a promise not to spread it any further.
Back at the office, Ted's spreading gossip about how Sue Ann's got a new man in her life, insulting the mystery man while Lou's present; but Mary encourages Lou to invest the conversation to avoid suspicion. The cat jumps out of the bag when Sue Ann pops in to give Lou his laundered socks back...though Ted's too dense to catch it. Lou tries to give Murray an improvised excuse, only for Murray to let on that Mary already told him, which infuriates Lou. Mary tries to explain, but Lou affects an all-business attitude, while declaring that they won't be friends anymore because she violated his confidence. When she breaks down crying, he hands her one of the socks to use as a handkerchief.
Sue Ann summons Lou down to her studio, where she recites romantic poetry and compares him to various gourmet dishes. He reluctantly tells her that it can never happen again, and she reacts like she lost her virginity to him, which guilts him into an ongoing dinner commitment. Coming in as Sue Ann kisses Lou affectionately while exiting, Ted still doesn't put things together.
Back in Lou's office, Mary pleads with him not to give up their friendship over her one mistake. Not wanting to quit her job, she offers to tell Lou about her most secret affair...methodically building up to revealing that, on the occasion of his visit, she had a one-night stand with...Walter Cronkite. It turns out to be a joke to get a smile out of Lou, which ultimately succeeds, motivating an episode-ending hug.
The Bob Newhart Show
"Warden Gordon Borden"
Originally aired January 17, 1976
Wiki said:
Howard gets a visit from his brother Gordon Borden the game warden (William Redfield), who becomes his romantic rival for Ellen. NOTE: Final appearance of Ellen.
The gag probably didn't make my write-ups, but the name of Howard's brother has come up a time or two before. Howard gets a message through the Hartleys' service that Gordon the game warden is flying in from his bird sanctuary in Oregon to see a pair of whooping cranes mate at the zoo. Howard sets up with the Hartleys how his older brother always took things from him. When Gordon arrives, Howard first brings him to Bob's office, and it turns out that he doesn't know about Ellen (which seems odd considering that they were engaged). When the Hartleys have Gordon over for dinner while Howard's on a flight, Ellen drops by and the two of them leave together.
The next day, with only that scene to go on, Emily thinks Gordon was smitten with Ellen. Howard returns to find that Gordon didn't stay at his place as arranged. The Hartleys fall into the subject of what happened, and Howard matter-of-factly assumes that Gordon spent the night at Ellen's. Gordon later shows up at Bob's office looking for Howard, telling Bob that he was with Ellen all night. He sits down in Bob's chair to tell him how they watched the whooping cranes together; and that he's fallen in love with Ellen and wants to marry her.
At Howard's, the brothers talk over their ironing (continuing the recurring theme in episodes with Howard/Ellen milestones), both enthusing over Ellen. Characteristically clueless, Howard's blindsided when Gordon comes out about his intentions. Ellen drops in as they're arguing over her and they put her in the middle; but she defuses the situation by revealing that she's planning to accept a job offer in Cleveland, though she intends to keep seeing Howard when she can. After Ellen leaves, Bob and Emily walk in to find the brothers arguing over possession of not Ellen, but a shirt.
In the coda, Emily shares a message with Bob that Howard's getting a visit from his other brother in Salt Lake City, Norman Borden the Mormon doorman...which turns out to be an in-story gag.
NBC's Saturday Night
Season 1, episode 10
Originally aired January 17, 1976
Host: Buck Henry
Guests: Bill Withers; Toni Basil
The cold open is a very brief gag of Chevy stumbling to the phone of a suicide prevention center hotline.
The humor of Buck's monologue is about how he's not a big enough name to be headlining the show. A random list of names of other hosts they couldn't get is shown onscreen. In general, the onscreen captions conduct a running fact check of whatever Buck's saying. He manages to drop a Bicentennial reference along the way.
Amazingly, the SNL account doesn't have a clip of this most classic of the Samurai sketches:

There's a reference to the Super Bowl being the next day.
Jane hosts
Presidential Foreplay, interviewing Gilda as the latest woman to come forward as one of JFK's lovers...though it turns out she had an affair with a different president, implied by the references to be Nixon. (I had to look one of the names up, but it was probably more familiar to audiences of the time.)
The next sketch features Buck as an aide advising Ford about a press conference in "An Oval Office". It emphasizes Chevy Ford's general cluelessness, including not knowing who the Secret Service are as Buck briefs him on Operation Stumblebum. At the conference, Buck shows doctored photos of various other political figures (including Reagan) taking falls, and the Secret Service agents (Garrett and John) duplicate Ford's various mishaps in an effort to make them look normal. The sketch includes Ford addressing a stuffed dog as Liberty, which will apparently be a running gag, as I've seen it in another "An Oval Office" sketch with Buck playing his advisor...the one where Buck's encouraging Ford to appear on the show.
Bill Withers does one performance, of "Ain't No Sunshine". There's a brief gag about a speed-reading school; and a caption on an audience member references Martin Milner.
Weekend Update includes various references to the Super Bowl; a brief reference to Franco; a gag about Tony Orlando and Freddie Prinze being separated Siamese twins; and a brief "Who Killed Agatha Christie?" gag. It also continues the gag of satellite connections to Angola being more local wrong numbers; and there's a follow-up on the viewer-submitted drug sample testing. The WU commercial features Germasol, a giant roll-on household deodorant that's played up as an alternative to aerosols. Chevy then mocks Buck giving an editorial; and the top story is repeated for Dead Americans, with a deceased man in the oval inset.
In a black-and-white Citizen Kane II sketch, a nurse shares the title character's additional last words, motivatin her and Buck's character to look into the identity of an Henri. Dan plays Mr. Kane in a flashback, shooting people on the street out his window to generate news. When assembled, it turns out that Kane's assembled last words were not "Rosebud," "Henri," and "with mustard," but a similar-sounding food order.
In the Land of Gorch, Scred gets an "extramarital aid" that he ordered--a strange-looking device with a ball gag on top that he's not sure how to use because the instructions are in Japanese. He ultimately gets it working, but after some implied sex below the camera, Peuta finds it unsatisfying.
There's a repeated commercial of the Triple Track razor; apparently tri-blade razors weren't an actual thing then.
Buck introduces Toni Basil with the word "inimitable"; she does a solo song and dance of a Glenn Miller number, "Wham (Re-Bop-Boom-Bam)".
Gilda plays a little girl who pesters her mechanic father, Dan, to tell her a bedtime story, so he improvises one from something that happened at the shop. This may be a direct forerunner of one of the show's classic Halloween sketches.
Chevy rolls a joint and tries to shoot himself up with it.
A very dry filmed segment features Buck trying to find the funniest person in the small town of Irvington, New York.
A performance of Howard Shore and His all-Bee Band features what is acknowledged as the origin of the Blues Brothers, but with John and Dan in Bee costumes...performing "King Bee," natch.
Although Michael O'Donoghue has been a credited cast member in previous episodes, Buck introduces his impressionist act as if he were a new discovery. Michael an impression of Mike Douglas after having large needles plunged into his eyes, which consists of writhing in pain and rolling off the stage.
The final sketch is a word from the American Constipation Society, which features Buck avoiding activities because of his condition, hinted at via various euphemisms that the other characters take delight in sharing.
This is the first episode for which I wasn't able to find any clips on the SNL account, though apparently the Ford sketch is available in other countries.
But isn't he disappeared at this point?
More like he retreated back into offscreen character land.
Not a bit. There are some things I just don't want to deal with.
Ironic, considering your calling. And not being able to watch a simulated changing on TV implies an extra sensitivity.
I'm not sure if that always matters, but I guess it probably does for a major show like M*A*S*H. I seem to remember reading that TNG used to leave random main cast members out of episodes to save money, but that was a low-budget syndication show.
I noticed that on TNG, and it happened with such regularity that I always assumed it was part of the actors' contracts...appear in 22 out of 26 episodes or whatever.
I think he's a little old to get away with that.
He may have just been boasting that his man-boobs didn't require support. The next cap, from the same episode, has a different closed captioning error.
Maybe it was a last-ditch attempt to go for an insanity plea.
On first watch, I thought he might have been trying to get their guard down, though that'd be a heckuva brave ploy for a rookie gunman to make under fire.
It was very exciting. Looking back, it's funny to think that Jack was only gone from Marvel for about six years. At the time, it seemed like forever.
I think coming in here with a 50-year-old scoop about Jack's return calls for a rarer Jim:
