50th Anniversary Viewing (Part 1)
The Six Million Dollar Man
"The Bionic Criminal"
Originally aired November 9, 1975
Edited Wiki/IMDb mashup said:
Barney Hiller (formerly Miller), the seven million dollar man, is reactivated. Barney loses control, panics, and turns to a former OSI scientist who wants to use him for criminal purposes.
At an OSI facility, Oscar and Rudy (Alan Oppenheimer returns, reportedly for continuity with the flashbacks) observe a procedure on Barney Hiller (Monte Markham); while outside, Steve learns that Carla Peterson (Maggie Sullivan also reprising her role from "The Seven Million Dollar Man") has become Mrs. Hiller. Something she says triggers Steve to wallow in a series of flashbacks to the prior episode. When he deduces why Barney's inside, Steve goes in to confront Oscar, who confirms that Barney's full bionic power has been restored. After the dramatic act break, Oscar clarifies that they're testing the possibility of activating and deactivating the power of bionic operatives for the military. Barney's supposed to be reactivated for a 48-hour trial period, and the first order of business is testing his abilities against Steve's on an athletic field--running, jumping, and weight-lifting, the last of which includes making clear that Barney has two bionic arms.
Steve thinks it's a bad idea when Barney's given some time off to go to an auto racing track and audition as a driver...which Steve learns Barney, who's hoping to relaunch his old career, only arranged after learning that he'd be reactivated. The owner of the car is a man named Tom Shatley (John Milford); while also lurking about is one Lester Burstyn (Donald Moffat), who has an inside man in Rudy's lab and is in the know about Barney's bionics. Barney, who explains to Steve that he feels he lost his edge as a driver when his bionics were tuned down, underperforms in the test and tries to blame it on the car, leading to an altercation with Shatley in which Barney shoves aside Tom, forgetting his bionic strength. While Steve performs chest compression, Barney drives off assuming that he's killed Shatley, who survives and is hospitalized.
Thinking that he's on the run from the law, Barney makes a rendezvous with Burstyn and agrees to his earlier-alluded-to offer to use his bionics for ill-gotten gain. Steve learns that Burstyn is former OSI who was let go a year prior. Barney uses his bionic powers to rob an armored car, which he turns over using a large metal pipe as a lever and smashes into via the back door's window. Barney wants to give his cut of the loot to Shatley's wife and cut out of the arrangement; so Burstyn, motivated to earn more for starting his own lab, decides to use Carla as leverage.
Barney goes to Rudy with the money and learns that Shatley's alive; Rudy assuring Barney that Oscar can smooth the robbery over with the authorities. Barney goes to inform Carla that he's not a fugitive, only to learn that Burstyn is holding her hostage to make Barney perform another job. Steve arrives in time to tail Burstyn's van to a bank, where Barney, getting in dressed as a guard, overcomes a real guard and uses his bionic strength to force open the vault door (which shows no signs of damage). Carrying out a pair of white bags, Barney's intercepted by Steve in the parking garage. A bionic chase and tussle ensues, which is cut short by Burstyn and his armed goons. Not in the know about Barney's bionic predecessor, Burstyn expresses amazement at Steve's ability to fight a bionic man, and takes Steve prisoner for questioning at his warehouse lair, being contrivedly slow on the uptake. Barney plays along with helping the interrogation, applying bionic pressure to Steve's neck. An unconscious Steve is taken to Carla's cell, which he busts out of, returning to Burstyn's office to team up with Barney in taking out the goons.
In the coda, a once-again-depowered Barney is enjoying having successfully started a new career in design/engineering.
All in the Family
"Grandpa Blues"
Originally aired November 10, 1975
MeTV said:
Archie has difficulty keeping his blood pressure down for a company physical after the family launches into a heavy debate over the baby's name.
When Mike comes by after doing laundry, Edith has to explain to him about not mixing coloreds with whites, and he makes a predictable comment--I'm pretty sure they've done that gag before. Archie comes home early and in a bad mood because Sanders has ordered for him and another employee over 50 to have physicals the following week, which has Archie concerned that he could lose his job. This transitions into a brief argument with Mike about unemployment in which Archie defends President Ford.
Archie: The man's doing a helluva job for a guy nobody voted for!
By the time Gloria gets home, Archie's decided to take action.
Archie: We're gonna write a letter to George Meany, the head of the UFO-CIA.
Edith comes up with the idea of Archie seeing a doctor that afternoon so that he can either ease his mind or have time to deal with anything that's found...an idea so good that Archie then claims credit for it. Archie ends up seeing his regular doctor's very youthful assistant (Greg Mabrey), who finds high blood pressure and signs of hypertension. Archie's given a prescription for medication and a calm, restful weekend.
Edith enlists the kids' aid in keeping Archie calm and relaxed, which has everyone doting over him. Then Gloria lets slip the name she and Mike have been considering for the baby--Stanislaus, after Mike's father. Gloria informs her father that they're also thinking of using Archibald as the middle name. When Archie asks why not the other way around, Gloria points out what the baby's initials would be. This gets Archie going and blows up into a shouting match, causing Edith to send the kids home for the weekend. Archie's touched that Edith would do that for him and he becomes cooperative of her efforts, taking his medication.
Edith: You wanna go upstairs?
Archie: In the daylight, Edith?
Edith (sheepishly): Oh-h-h-h-h. Oh, I didn't mean that.
Archie: I know, I know....You wanna?


On Monday, Archie reports to Dr. Stanley Ferguson (John Zoller), who's been informed by Archie's PCP. As the doctor takes Archie's blood pressure, he tries to sooth his patient with words about peace and brotherhood between black and white people, which has the opposite of the intended effect. Being 71 himself, the doctor volunteers to report Archie's pressure as high normal, which is enough to keep him on the job. Running into Sanders on the way out, Archie's bubble bursts when he's informed that the other guy, who's been let go, will be collecting benefits and a pension for his early retirement.
M*A*S*H
"Dear Peggy"
Originally aired November 14, 1975
IMDb said:
B.J. writes a letter home to his wife, and Father Mulcahy gets a visit from one of his rigid superiors.
B.J. sits down to start his letter at the Officers' Club. He first goes into how he took over Private Davis, a patient Burns had given up on in the O.R., eventually raising a pulse with chest compressions in spite of Frank's discouragement. Afterward, B.J. learns that Mulcahy's concerned about an impending visit from divisional chaplain Colonel Hollister, reputed to be the Attila the Hun of chaplains. Inspired by a magazine account, Hawkeye tries to set a world's record by packing as many personnel in a Jeep as possible. A disapproving Hollister (Ned Beatty) arrives as Mulcahy's among those crawling back out of the vehicle.
Wiki said:
Hawkeye refers to Richard Nixon as our Vice President, setting the episode in 1953.
The personnel supportively pack the tent for a formal service, making a show of praising Mulcahy on the way out...except for the Straw Couple, who kiss up to Hollister instead. Hollister is unsatisfied with the father's ministerial style, breaking into a sermon of his own as he chides Mulcahy to grab his parishioners, taking each and every one of them by the hand. Next we get a look at the conflicting teaching styles of Burns and Hawkeye as they take turns instructing Korean ward trainees in English. After a visit to the ward, Hollister insists that Mulcahy write a letter to Davis's parents, even though the private isn't out of the woods. A series of beats about Klinger's escape attempts includes inflating a raft in Potter's office. When Davis requires a follow-up surgery, Mulcahy regrets having written the letter, but after waiting pensively outside, is relieved to hear that the private is likely to recover. Following an insult from Frank, Hawkeye signals the group of trainees to respond in unison with a "ferret face" taunt.
In the coda, B.J. confirms that Davis has recovered and been sent back to the States; and Klinger is brought in by MPs with a fir tree attached to him.
Hawaii Five-O
"How to Steal a Submarine"
Originally aired November 14, 1975
Wiki said:
A high-school vice principal uses a submarine to recover smuggled narcotics.
The episode opens with an onscreen acknowledgment to the Coast Guard. Out on the open sea, a fishing vessel, the
Irene Kay, makes a rendezvous with a diver, who delivers a bag of canned hams, then is shot by Rafael Orduno (Nephi Hannemann), though James Scott (Darby Hinton) tries to stop him. A Coast Guard chopper then patrols over the boat, and the crew tries to look busy while Orduno surreptitiously puts the gun in the bag, which he ties a red streamer on and drops overboard. The chopper orders the vessel to turn to a port, where they're intercepted by a cutter bearing McGarrett, who confronts Orduno about having received a shipment from the nearby freighter
Matusu, though a search turns up no evidence. McGarrett can tell that something's troubling Scott and tries to question him. On shore, Orduno calls Vice Principal Morwood (Jack Cassidy) to inform him of the incident, of how he intends to retrieve the bag, and of Scott's troublesome behavior, wanting to take care of him against Norwood's wishes.
Meanwhile, the diver's body is found, and he's identified as a possible crew member of the
Matusu. McGarrett takes interest in his SCUBA tank having a filed-off serial number, which Che is able to raise part of. A still-troubled James goes to see his girlfriend, Nani Hakua (Lei Kayahara), on her job at Maui Divers, and takes interest in the sight of a two-man sub that's used to pick up coral. He excitedly goes to Morwood with the idea of using it to aid in their operation, but Morwood just chides him for panicking on the boat and gives him a ticket to the big island until things cool off. After a follow-up visit to the
Irene Kay to look for the .45 used in the murder, Steve takes an interest in Scott's absence and has Five-O pay a visit to his apartment. Scott panics really bad this time, going straight to Orduno, who puts him in the hold and phones Morwood, who reluctantly agrees that the lad has to be terminated.
Five-O learns that Scott has a history of drug charges, and questions his roommate, Pete Akula (Francis Kamahele), who's guilelessly not in the know about James's activities. He informs them that James got his job on the boat with the help of Morwood, whose school James seasonally works in the cafeteria of. After Scott's body is found on a beach, Steve and Danno question Nani, and Morwood comes up again as James's benefactor. Following another visit to Orduno, who has an alibi, McGarrett pays a call on Morwood, questioning him about a series of short trips to the Far East, for which the underpaid academic has a cover story of working as a part-time garment industry agent. Feeling the need to shake the heat so they can retrieve their goods, Morwood calls Orduno with the titular scheme.
Duke digs up that the tank was bought by one of Orduno's crew, Sammy Kulu (Allen Okawa). Steve and Danno go to see Nani again and find her OD'ed on pills, but still breathing. Steve walks her around, pours coffee in her mouth, and questions her. She confirms that Morwood was a campus pusher, and also volunteers Jimmy's interest in telling Morwood about the sub. Morwood and Orduno scope out the sub first, approaching its operator (Don Pomes) with questions and then a gun. Cutting past some forced lessons, the sub dives away just as the Stevemobile arrives, and the operator is found tied in a bin. While the baddies locate the bag and retrieve it via trial and error with its mechanical arm, Steve calls in a Coast Guard task force to search the area for the vessel. The sub is located and determined to be heading back to shore, so Steve has Commander Miller (Robert Harker) and his men toss percussion charges in the sub's vicinity. When the vessel starts springing leaks, Morwood holds a gun on the cooler Orduno, ordering him to surface. CG divers retrieve the bag from the claw. The baddies are ordered out for arrest, and Steve opens one of the tins to verify that it doesn't contain pork.
McGarrett: When we get a ballistics match, both of you are gonna be looking at Murder One. Book 'em, Danno.
Talk about strong nostalgic value. That line always reminds me of Mister Cairns' 7th-grade History class. He brought up the
Sacred Cod and I blurted out "Holy Mackerel!" which made the whole class crack up. One of those little things that got my junior-high career off to a good start.
It was maybe a bit less obvious 50-ish years ago.
Ah, Shock Rock. I didn't think of that one. That's perfect. Them and Alice Cooper.
Who, I read, credits this guy as his inspiration:
Another item of interest in this month's Marvels--the shout-out to "Magneto and Titanium Man" just appeared in Bullpen Bulletins.