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Mental Wellness Support Group

Has anyone been affected by someone else's behavior or attitude, although it's not necessarily directed toward you?

I've been feeling like this lately about my roommate, a.k.a. brother, and what I perceive to be toxic behavior. It seems like every time he gets home from work, he's banging around in the kitchen and cussing to himself. I dare not ask what's wrong, since he's going to quickly deny there's any problem. What's with the temper tantrums, bro?

One time, I actually mirrored his behavior and started slamming the pots and pans and throwing things in the kitchen too. 😆 I realize this is not the right approach.

I hear obsidian eliminates negative energy, so I've worn an obsidian pendant at home. Next, I'm going to get a smudge kit.
I think everyone goes through this and it's easy to match energy with energy, especially with anger. But, that's not helpful at least iny experience. If my wife is mad at an inanimate object it drives me crazy but me telling her that's nuts doesn't help either.

It might be a depressive response or just empty of the ability to flex when things don't go right.
 
I start therapy tomorrow, my initial assessment if it goes “well”? i start the week after!! it’s not NHS, with a specialist charity so i’m looking forward to the separation. Has anyone done art psycho therapy? that’s what it is and i can’t find much about how it is (i think it helps with people who can’t speak about their feelings/trauma, which is me)
 
Started a new medication which may (or may not but it does list “back pain” as a side effect) have aggravated my back so I’ve been mostly only able to lay down for 3 days now. My body wants to get up and walk around it’s so tired of laying down, which I do until my back screams “stupid person lay down”. The trend is so very slowly better but still frustrating as hello. Seems my slow rewatch of Voyager has turned into a binge watch for which I’ve been sending snarky reviews to my pen pal in Australia. Really I am tired of laying down…actually sitting for a little bit right now until it gets irritated at me.
 
My dearest friend "Maggie," an 80-year-old woman whom I've known for well over 25 years, is in the hospital right now. She was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer a couple of months ago and went to her first immunotherapy session at the beginning of May. She's an extremely brave and resilient person who's gone through so much in her life.

The last time I spoke with her was on the phone just before I left for my vacation in Ireland. She didn't sound very well; in fact, she said she was in so much pain and discomfort, with all kinds of tubes attached to her body. I had texted his son to get an update, but he never responded to me, so I got updates from a mutual friend instead.

When I came back my trip, I called Maggie again, and it went to her voicemail. I left her a brief message saying I was always thinking of her and looked forward to getting together as soon as she was feeling better. Today I got an email from her with a picture of her still in the hospital, not in the best of health.

I'm really at a loss for words. It's so sad to see Maggie going through this. As I get older, I'm seeing more people close to me die or dying. And yet there are no words of comfort I could say to her. 😥 We've talked about how she has accepted her diagnosis, and she didn't get emotional or angry when she found out about her condition. I really wish there were something I could do or say to make her feel better. I'm trying not to say the wrong words too, so if anyone has any advice, I would appreciate it.
 
My dearest friend "Maggie," an 80-year-old woman whom I've known for well over 25 years, is in the hospital right now. She was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer a couple of months ago and went to her first immunotherapy session at the beginning of May. She's an extremely brave and resilient person who's gone through so much in her life.

The last time I spoke with her was on the phone just before I left for my vacation in Ireland. She didn't sound very well; in fact, she said she was in so much pain and discomfort, with all kinds of tubes attached to her body. I had texted his son to get an update, but he never responded to me, so I got updates from a mutual friend instead.

When I came back my trip, I called Maggie again, and it went to her voicemail. I left her a brief message saying I was always thinking of her and looked forward to getting together as soon as she was feeling better. Today I got an email from her with a picture of her still in the hospital, not in the best of health.

I'm really at a loss for words. It's so sad to see Maggie going through this. As I get older, I'm seeing more people close to me die or dying. And yet there are no words of comfort I could say to her. 😥 We've talked about how she has accepted her diagnosis, and she didn't get emotional or angry when she found out about her condition. I really wish there were something I could do or say to make her feel better. I'm trying not to say the wrong words too, so if anyone has any advice, I would appreciate it.
The biggest thing I have learned from seeing people die and dying is that you don't need to say much of anything. Just offer your presence, sit in silence and be willing to talk. At times it will feel awkward and that's normal.

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I still haven't heard from my friend Maggie, and I completely understand if she's not well enough to respond. I texted and emailed her and also left a voicemail to express my support, saying I'm there for her.

The problem is that her son didn't respond to me when I texted him. I figured he must very busy taking care of stuff for her. I know him well enough since he and I work for the same employer in the SF Bay Area.

Meanwhile, I'm dealing with some health issues of my own. About 10 days ago, I went to the ER after having extreme pain in my right flank and dark urine. CAT scan and labwork revealed bilateral kidney stones. 😖 I guess I need to watch my diet and cut down on sodium and avoid foods heavy in potassium, calcium, oxalates, and proteins. It happened again three days ago, and I was prescribed some meds. The pain seems to come and go, as today I had another episode. 😞 My urology appointment is not until the end of the month, and for now I'll just have to take it one day at a time.

Edit:

"We cannot choose our circumstances, but we can always choose how we respond to them." --Epictetus

I've been reading some inspirational literature on the principles of Stoicism, including Meditations by Marcus Aurelius.
 
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