Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Moments

[Trekker4747]

Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen

Likely.

It *is* nice when the customers are nice and atleast -seem to- admit they're being a tool.

 

[archeryguy1701]

Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen

Out of curiousity: Have you ever gotten a call about the cupholder being broken?

No, not yet, though I am patiently waiting for the day...

Customer: Yeah, I can't get the lid open, it seems like its locked or something.
Me: Thats odd, those laptops have no locking mechanism for the screen lid, they stay closed without a latch.
Customer: Well I'm pressing the buttons on the front but they won't budge.
Me: The buttons...?
Customer: Yeah there's two rectangular buttons on the edge of the front.
Me: *looks at a similar model on display*
Me: *realizes whats going on*
Me: *in the nicest sounding, least condescending tone possible* Um..sir. Those aren't buttons. Those are the hinges. You're trying to open it the wrong way.
Customer: What? *pause* Oh...shit
Customer: *hangs up*
Me: *laughs for about an hour while telling everyone who'll listen about it*

I would have to say that that one is priceless!

 

[Tiberius Jim]

Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen

Likely.

It *is* nice when the customers are nice and atleast -seem to- admit they're being a tool.

Indeed. Anyone else with not quite as pleasant a disposition probably would have gone off on me, blaming me for their stupidity. This guy just hung up out of sheer embarrassment.

I don't know what was funnier...the fact that he was doing something so simply so incredibly wrong, or his reaction to finally figuring it out.

 

[Trekker4747]

Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen

Likely.

It *is* nice when the customers are nice and atleast -seem to- admit they're being a tool.

Indeed. Anyone else with not quite as pleasant a disposition probably would have gone off on me, blaming me for their stupidity. This guy just hung up out of sheer embarrassment.

I don't know what was funnier...the fact that he was doing something so simply so incredibly wrong, or his reaction to finally figuring it out.

I guess in his "defence" it seems silly the logo is oriented "upside down" to the way the user would hold the computer.

 

[Timby]

Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen

Several years ago, I worked in an independent video game store. Working at that store involved all tasks -- taking in used games and stocking them, stocking new games, answering the phone / questions from callers, sales, register ... the entire gamut, really.

The store sold all vintage systems, including Atari models, the NES, SNES, Master System, Genesis, etc.

One afternoon, I had sold a Genesis and several games to a couple, who were excited to be re-living their youth. Or a meth-related hallucination. Could have been either one. Maybe two hours later, I picked up the phone.

Thank you for calling Video Games, Etc., this is JKTim, may I help you?

yeah you sold me this sega an it dont work

I'm sorry to hear that, but I do recognize your voice and I remember getting the system for you. First off, I need to remind you that all of our pre-owned systems are tested prior to being taken into inventory. Can I ask what the problem is?

theres no picture on the screen

OK. Is the video cable plugged in?

yeah we bought this adapter from you so the R-whatever thing would work

I understand, I'm just checking. What happens when you slide the power switch to "on?"

nothin happens

There should be a red light above the switch that turns on. Is that on?

what light

OK. There's a big, black boxy thing, with a power plug, that came in the box with your Genesis. Is that plugged into the wall?

i thought this fuckin thing ran on tv power

:

 

[Tiberius Jim]

Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen

Likely.

It *is* nice when the customers are nice and atleast -seem to- admit they're being a tool.

Indeed. Anyone else with not quite as pleasant a disposition probably would have gone off on me, blaming me for their stupidity. This guy just hung up out of sheer embarrassment.

I don't know what was funnier...the fact that he was doing something so simply so incredibly wrong, or his reaction to finally figuring it out.

I guess in his "defence" it seems silly the logo is oriented "upside down" to the way the user would hold the computer.

Not really. The logo is oriented so that it is right side up when the computer is opened. If it opened the way he thought it did, the logo would be upside down while in the open position.

 

[Trekker4747]

Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen

Indeed. Anyone else with not quite as pleasant a disposition probably would have gone off on me, blaming me for their stupidity. This guy just hung up out of sheer embarrassment.

I don't know what was funnier...the fact that he was doing something so simply so incredibly wrong, or his reaction to finally figuring it out.

I guess in his "defence" it seems silly the logo is oriented "upside down" to the way the user would hold the computer.

Not really. The logo is oriented so that it is right side up when the computer is opened. If it opened the way he thought it did, the logo would be upside down while in the open position.

Ah. Well, that makes sense too, I guess.



JKtim: Awesome story.

 

[Goji]

Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen

i thought this fuckin thing ran on tv power

Well... at least that is a slight step above my freshman year roommate, who thought that my television could run with no electrical power whatsoever.

 

[Trekker4747]

Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen

i thought this fuckin thing ran on tv power

Well... at least that is a slight step above my freshman year roommate, who thought that my television could run with no electrical power whatsoever.

The Beast?

 

[Goji]

Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen

Indeed. He's become a thing of legend.

 

[MetalPants]

Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen

Likely.

It *is* nice when the customers are nice and atleast -seem to- admit they're being a tool.

I LOVE customers like that. Just because they are having some trouble or can't find something, they don't find you and accuse you of personally making their life a living hell because of the situation.

 

[eastman23]

Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen

Well, let's see... there's the guy a few days ago who simply tossed the books he was going to buy on some random table and left the store after I informed him that he would have to go to the front cash desk to pay for the items instead of the obviously closed cash desk he was standing at. Probably walked farther to his car than it would have taken to get to the front desk.

I've got another one too, although I wasn't actually there that night. One evening, some shining example of humanity decided to urinate on a shelf full of books. Apparently that's all he did. Unzip, take a leak, and leave. He obviously had some issues with the books we had in the Science/Electronics section.

And finally, there's the never ending complaints/whining about the differences between Canadian and US prices on books. Memo to customers: I am just a floor salesperson making barely above minimum wage. There's nothing I can do about the goddamned prices. And no, our competitors charge Canadian prices too. I called them myself and asked. So stop lying to me!

 

[Trekker4747]

Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen

A long time ago our store was closed. It was being remodeled/reset due to new ownership.

The doors were unlocked, but "off" (i.e. the automatic door openers weren't on) if you've never opened one of these when they're off it isn't easy and there's signs on the doors saying "Sorry We're Closed. We'll reopen tomorrow at 10AM bringing you a new, great, shopping experience." or words to that effect.

Anyway. The entire staff is there, running around resetting aisles, cleaning, organizing, getting things ready for the Grand (Re)Opening the following day and such, the reigsters are all taken apart and new ones are being installed, a lot of product isn't on the shelves. The place is chaos. It should be obvious to anyone with a brain we're not open.

I'm walking around and I see an older couple walking through the store, with a cart, looking dazed and confused. I go up to them and ask them how they're doing, and they look at me and say, "Where is everyone? What's going on? Why are your shelves so empty?"

I've honestly no idea what was going on in their minds, how this weak-looking elderly couple forced the doors open and where they got off being so pissed when I told them we were closed and they had to leave.

 

[PsychoPere]

Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen

[...] The doors were unlocked, but "off" (i.e. the automatic door openers weren't on) if you've never opened one of these when they're off it isn't easy and there's signs on the doors saying "Sorry We're Closed. We'll reopen tomorrow at 10AM bringing you a new, great, shopping experience." or words to that effect. [...]

Those doors are freaking ridiculous to open.

A very similar thing happened at one of our other stores I worked at. We were in the process of relocating from a twenty-year-old store in a strip mall to a brand-new building directly across the street from our main national competitor and in a better area (for business) of town. The electronic readerboard clearly indicated when this store would open; there was still work being done in small parts of the parking lot; and we had signs on both the entrance and exit doors saying when this location would open, that people would need to go to the old location until it was open.

A couple teenagers decided to come inside, anyways. The store manager had a very difficult time getting them to leave, and they even went so far as to attempt to intimidate her. Her response was to pick up her cell phone and ask if they wanted the police to be telling them to leave. Needless to say, they left at that point.

Also had someone stand directly in front of one of those handwritten signs, knocking on the door. When the manager opened the door to ask her what she needed, the person demanded to come inside to shop.

 

[cultcross]

Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen

"Restroom" is a public bathroom. (I guess we call them restrooms because there's no bath in them?) I dunno.

We'd call it the 'toilet' cause there isn't a bath in it

If you ever come to Britain and decide to go grocery shopping (high on our list of attractions!) don't be surprised if even quite big supermarkets don't have any toilet facilities at all for public use. Public toilets are something Britain seriously lacks. Probably cos we all remember the horror that were the British Rail 'facilities'.

 

[Davros]

Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen

Years ago when I was working graveyard shift at 7-11, I had a customer who was first mad he would have to wait up to one minute for his change from a 20$ at 02:00. Then when I gave this idiot two 5$ bills instead of a 10$. He yelled at me for 5 minutes then threw his nachos against the front doors and yelled at me for 10 more minutes from the parking lot.

I had no problem saying what I thought of him either.

2 things have to occur for a customer to be right.
1. They have to be right
2. They have to treat the clerk with enough respect to deserve to be treated as right.

 

[Guartho]

Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen

Woah, he yelled at you instead of saying "Can I have a ten instead?" What a maroon.

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen

My Dad was an assistant bank manager until a few years ago, he had a few maroons in his time. Worst were the people who rang and gave you a mouthful over the phone. He said the only way to deal with them was to let them rant a bit then let them hang up. They'll be back again that day, to apologise politely.

 

[SeerSGB]

Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen

A long time ago our store was closed. It was being remodeled/reset due to new ownership.

The doors were unlocked, but "off" (i.e. the automatic door openers weren't on) if you've never opened one of these when they're off it isn't easy and there's signs on the doors saying "Sorry We're Closed. We'll reopen tomorrow at 10AM bringing you a new, great, shopping experience." or words to that effect.

Anyway. The entire staff is there, running around resetting aisles, cleaning, organizing, getting things ready for the Grand (Re)Opening the following day and such, the reigsters are all taken apart and new ones are being installed, a lot of product isn't on the shelves. The place is chaos. It should be obvious to anyone with a brain we're not open.

I'm walking around and I see an older couple walking through the store, with a cart, looking dazed and confused. I go up to them and ask them how they're doing, and they look at me and say, "Where is everyone? What's going on? Why are your shelves so empty?"

I've honestly no idea what was going on in their minds, how this weak-looking elderly couple forced the doors open and where they got off being so pissed when I told them we were closed and they had to leave.

Ugh, had something similar happen at the bookstore I used to work at once.

We were stuck doing late night inventory/resets after close. 3AM in the morning, district-boss down doing shrink-audits and store inspection, corporate inventory team, and in the middle of it the front end totally torn apart and stacked in crates while we move shelves and count.

3AM, we have someone come in a force open the automated doors, grabs a basket and starts shopping. The DM confronts them and tells them to leave. The man gets pissed off and says he's calling the attorney-general, and plops his fat ass down in the middle of the floor. We call the cops, big shouting match with the cops, and finally we find out the issue. He thought we were having midnight sale cause he saw the ad in the paper...the ad was for a furniture store on the other side of town.

Then there was the morning at the theater we were invade by a woman and 4 kids at 8 AM, 4 hours before open. We were there early hanging promos, getting ready for a party later in the day, etc. The only unlocked entrance was in the back in the alley and was the vendor/employee entrance- that we had marked as "Employee Only, Not a Entrance". All the other doors (about 15 or so) were locked. That means this woman and her pack of kids tried every door in the joint before finally getting a unlocked door.. And she gets pissed at us for kicking her out, but not before she asked if she could leave her kids with us to watch while she went shopping. Called the main office and made up a good story about being cussed out, us smacking one of her kids, accused on of the AM of grabbing her in the crotch. The reason she'd come in the building: She wanted good seats for the first showing of "Finding Nemo".

 

[Alidar Jarok]

Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen

"Restroom" is a public bathroom. (I guess we call them restrooms because there's no bath in them?) I dunno.

We'd call it the 'toilet' cause there isn't a bath in it

I think Americans have an aversion to saying "Toilet", so we think of other words to say in its place.

Anyway, once, when I worked at Happy Harry's (if you don't know what it is, it was bought out by Walgreens if that gives you any idea), someone tried to return an Iron.

They had no receipt, they had no box, there were hairs burned to the bottom, and, as far as I know, Happy Harry's doesn't sell irons and never did.