TOS Caption Contest #80 - Them Some Eggs!

[Vassa]

You do know Tribbles, furry or not, were outlawed in the Federation?

Doctor, you are now entering parts of the galaxy where you'll start meeting aliens with Big Hair and funny looking noses, so be prepared.

 

[Gertch]

"Fascinating, Goa'uld TV."

 

[Outpost4]

"Chief Engineer Vanderberg, please explain why one of your assistants told you to 'suck eggs'."

 

[Outpost4]

Roddenberry also shot a pilot for The Golden Girls but that series wasn't picked up, either.

 

[scottydog]

Spock: "My crystal ball tells me you are about to encounter a Horta, in that die-rection."

Vanderberg: "When are you going to get that tricorder fixed?"

 

[scottydog]

McCoy: "I'm sorry. All the women on your planet are menopausal. None of you will ever menstruate again."

Woman: "Oh? Then how do you explain what you are drinking?"

McCoy: "This isn't Klingon blood wine??!!"

 

[Shatmandu]

Deleted Scene, at episode end:

Spock: "Perhaps Mother Horta will allow me to take this egg with me, Captain."
Kirk, offscreen: "Yeah, I'm famished."

McCoy, toasting: "To Natira: your face ... as beautiful as a newborn star; your ass ... as big as an escape pod."

 

[Shaka]

Spock : That Orb of Time is indeed fascinating.

Vandenberg (thinking) : Jeez, that's so two weeks ago...
​

 

[Michael]

Vanderberg: "Jeez! I wish they'd spell my name right."

 

[Shatmandu]

Vanderberg: "Why the fuck am I on board?"
Spock: "Not sure. Anyway, Captain, Natira gave me two of these and mentioned an upcoming 'Ben-Wah Ritual' for McCoy."
Kirk, offscreen: "Dear Lord! Hard about!"

McCoy: "I am relaxed."
Natira: "Have another. Trust me."

 

[Outpost4]

"I see the Romulans are coming for T'Bonz."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

"After three hundred years of research, it's astounding how much they have managed to miniaturise the energy saving lightbulb."

Natira: "Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?"

McCoy: "I'm a Doctor not a stormtrooper, I'm here to give you an enema."

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk, offscreen: "Spock, that's a combination of my two favorite things ..."

Spock, spookily: "My thoughts ... to your thoughts ... My hand ... to your ball ..."
Vanderberg stifles giggle.

McCoy: "I'm sorry, I'm just not a big fan of women with spit-curls."

 

[Diesel Micky Dolenz]

Congratulations, EliyahuQeoni and SpiderMonkeeDolenz

Much thanks!

SpiderMonkeeDolenz(4x) ... Plus one this time for a total of 6!

Math major?

Spock: From here, I believe the shot would be a "three-pointer."

Vanderberg: .oO Like you could even make a layup, you pansy Oo.

Natira: ...but before you can pleasure me, you must satisfy my mother and her mother as well.

 

[alchemist]

Shatmandu is right - this image is from a deleted scene. But my script, from the final draft, has this dialogue instead:

Kirk, offscreen: "I don't know, Mr. Spock, what do you get when you cross a Horta with a chicken?"
Spock: "You get an 'eggs-traterrestrial,' Captain."

Deleted Scene, at episode end:

 

[Rat Boy]

Vanderberg: "Are you gonna stare at that egg or are you going to make that damn omelette? Yeesh, if I wanted this kind of hassle, I'd've gone with that fish-looking coffee asswipe."

The Oracle: "And McCoy, as the most attractive male, will be snu-snued by the most beautiful women of Yonada. Then the large women. Then the petite women. Then the large women again."

McCoy: "I never thought I'd die like this. But I always really, really hoped."

 

[Shatmandu]

Natira: "My vagina is on the back of my head. It is a hairy cone of flesh with a stream of hair pouring out which must be washed, combed, and braided before intercourse, due to the odor."

McCoy: "Uh, could I see my Communicator?"

 

[Outpost4]

Natira: Will you take nude pictures of us?

McCoy: Spock!

 

[Defcon]

Vanderberg (thinking): Oh great, we're in deep shit with these rock-eating pizzas and Mr. Vulcan over there is reading comics on his fancy new portable eBook reader.

 

[Rat Boy]

Nimoy: "It's as shiny as Shatner's head."