To be perfectly blunt we as fans are too emotionally close to this to see many other way but few production teams go in to a production and say "I want to piss the fan base off." That's a completely unworkable way to create a show to be antagonistic towards the people it's your job to entertain, or face cancellation.
So, the fact that you find it "insulting, destructive" means that no matter what they say they will always be perceived as villains. More's the pity.
Aware of it? Maybe. So, they looked at bringing Kes back in a way that both acknowledged her history but also that maybe things didn't work out perfectly well.
Again, probably not. Writers don't approach things from a "happily ever after" standpoint like fans do. There's no drama in happily ever after. They look at the characters, and look at dramatic potential. And then they have to work inside the constrains of a writing and filming schedule that puts a lot of pressure on them to get it done in a timely manner.
I can see your points but sometimes I just wonder..............
As for the "Kes issue", they must have been aware of how unhappy many fans were with THAT episode. So why didn't they try to correct it?
There were people sending in suggestions about how the damage made to the characters in THAT episode could have been corrected. I myself, with some help of a semi-professional script-writer transformed a story which I've written into a script and sent it to Paramount. Another Kes fan I know came up wih a very good script.
So they must have been aware of the problem, at least I got in touch with a person there who understood the situation then.
Asfor the "Endgame issue", they must have been libving in another dimension if they didn't realize how many fans who wanted a "happy ending" between Chakotay and Janeway, after all those years of teasing those fans with it.
But there we had the same situation again!
They had two choices:
1. A "happy ending" between Chakotay and Janeway.
2. Ignore those wishes from many fans.
And once again they chose to insult the fans, this time with that ridiculous Chakotay-Seven romance!
No surprise that people might think about them "showing the finger" when the same thing happens over and over again.
Not to mention that Endgame was horrible. They couldn't even come upwith a decent homecoming for the crew.
It was like they thought: "OK, let get out of this as soon as possible and start the production of the new pre-TOS series we are planning, just to show people how TOS should have been done from the start."
Coming up with an Enterprise before Enterprise and a Captain before Pike and Kirk was actually an insult to the TOS fans too.