Funny One-Sentence Summaries of TNG Episodes

[Farscape One]

"Frame of Mind" - This is your brain (shows egg)... this is your brain after an away mission (cracks egg in skillet, egg fries)... any questions?

"Samaritan Snare" - Teeth are for chewing, and everyone needs things to make them go.

"Thine Own Self" - You can be third in command of the Federation flagship, save Earth from the Borg, expose Romulan interference in a Klingon civil war, and perform the role of XO perfectly every time you are called upon to do so... but unless you have ordered a hologram to their death, you haven't done what it takes to be promoted to commander.

 

[Oddish]

Thine Own Self" - You can be third in command of the Federation flagship, save Earth from the Borg, expose Romulan interference in a Klingon civil war, and perform the role of XO perfectly every time you are called upon to do so... but unless you have ordered a hologram to their death, you haven't done what it takes to be promoted to commander.

The Mighty Oddish approves!

 

[Leviathan]

Cause and Effect: Groundhog Day in space!

Starship Mine: Die Hard in space!

Disaster: The Towering Inferno in space!

 

[Oddish]

Hoho, forgot this topic!

Violations: Troi has a seriously screwed up relationship.

Masterpiece Society: Troi has a relationship that's not quite as bad, but still pretty screwed up.

Conundrum: Macduff should have just made himself captain.

Power Play: Sirtis, Spiner, and Meaney show they're all really good at playing bad guys.

Ethics: Worf pages Dr. Kervorkian... and winds up with someone almost as bad.

The Outcast: Conversion therapy, 1984 style.

Cause and Effect*: Poker, disembodied voices, and the Enterprise goes kaboom.

Cost of Living: Majel Barrett nude... just what we really didn't need to see.

The First Duty: Tom Paris's origin story.

The Perfect Mate: Worf gets growled at, but the rest is tragic.

*I know I did this one already, but it's all about repetition.

 

[Ragitsu]

Power Play: Sirtis, Spiner, and Meaney show they're all really good at playing bad guys.

Who could have predicted that?

 

[Orphalesion]

Are two sentences still good?

The Child: A terrible, inhuman evil comes to the Enterprise. Meanwhile, in an unrelated chain of events, Troi is impregnated by a glowy-glowy energy ball.

 

[Farscape One]

"True Q" - Riker actually turns down a woman.

"Rascals" - We learn Klingon Birds of Prey are Riker's achilles heel. (Could he have psychological damage from his time as XO of one?)

"A Fistful of Datas" - I wanna be a cowboy, baaaaaby!

"The Quality of Life" - Tools come to life!

"Chain Of Command, Part I" - We finally get to see just how sexy Troi looks in a uniform.

"Chain Of Command, Part II" - There are four lights, but there is only one Picard.

 

[Oddish]

"I, Borg" - This story proves that Geordi can become friends with anybody.

"The Next Phase" - "Ghost", but in a universe that doesn't believe in ghosts.

"The Inner Light" - Picard gets zapped by a probe, stops being afraid of kids, and learns to play the flute.

"Time's Arrow part 1" - Data's head gets found, and then all of him get lost.

Seasons 6 and 7 coming...

 

[Orphalesion]

Was this already done?

Skin of Evil: Yar meets Tar.

 

[Oddish]

SEASON SIX, GO!

Time's Arrow part 2: Data's head is super old now.

Realm of Fear: Broccoli vs. the Transporter

Man of the People: Troi gets old fast and goes totally batty.

Relics: We see Scotty and a Dyson Sphere, and the Big Red Reset button promptly makes them both disappear.

Schisms: "We've all been here before..." click click click click click click click clock click click clique click click lick click click trick click click click....

True Q: Unlike Riker, Amanda won't allow innocents to die to avoid using Q power.

Rascals: Once again, the transporter provides a way people can live forever, but no one ever uses it.

A Fistful of Datas: Worf tries really hard to find extra work to do but can't, so he has to play cowboy on the holodeck with Alexander, Troi, and a bunch of Data clones.

 

[Oddish]

Season 6 continues...

The Quality of Life: We meet Peanut Hamper's much less obnoxious relatives.

Chain of Command: Picard gets replaced by a class-A prick so that he can play commando.

Chain of Command II: Picard shows that he can count to four, Riker gets canned, Data gets to be first officer, and the class-A prick shows that he knew what he was doing all along.

Ship in a Bottle: Moriarty returns for some holodeck in holodeck hijinks, and lives happily ever after.

Aquiel: Geordi has a romance with a young woman of dubious accomplishments, then kills her dog.

Face of the Enemy: Deanna does Romulan cosplay.

Tapestry: Sometimes, changing history for the better is a bad thing.

Birthright Part I: Data dreams, and it's awesome.

Birthright Part II: Worf becomes a Klingon cultural guru, and it's awful.

Starship Mine: This is the Worf episode we should have had instead of Birthright part II... but they make it a Picard episode instead.

 

[Farscape One]

My wife just came up with these.

"Up The Long Ladder" - Shamrock shit show.

"The Enemy" - Geordi's having a bad day.

"Captain's Holiday" - Make it Sol.

"The Outcast" - Riker drinks Love Potion Number J'Naii.

"The Quality of Life" - Robot toys matter!

"Frame of Mind" - Against his WILL.

 

[Oddish]

My wife just came up with these.

"Up The Long Ladder" - Shamrock shit show.

"The Enemy" - Geordi's having a bad day.

"Captain's Holiday" - Make it Sol.

"The Outcast" - Riker drinks Love Potion Number J'Naii.

"The Quality of Life" - Robot toys matter!

"Frame of Mind" - Against his WILL.

Tell her those are awesome.

Lessons: Picard and Daren make beautiful music together... in more ways than one.

The Chase: We find out why most aliens are just people with different head bumps.

Frame of Mind: Riker discovers a new phaser setting: shatter reality.

Suspicions: Crusher gets in hot water for chopping up a dead Ferengi.

Rightful Heir: Clone-liness is next to godliness.

Second Chances: One Riker who just wouldn't leave is bad enough, but now we've got two of him!

Timescape:
(you get it or you don't)

Descent: Lore turns the Borg into even bigger D-bags than they were before.

One season to go... and I might go back to S1, since I missed a few there. Or the movies. Or both.

 

[Trekker09]

Some of my favorites so far -

“Skin of Evil” - Yar meets Tar (Orphelesion)
“Cause and Effect” - Groundhog Day in space (Leviathan)
“Realm of fear” – Broccoli vs the transporter (Oddish)
“The Price” – Deanna mistakes Devinoni Ral for chocolate (Ragitsu)
“Up the long ladder” - Shamrock shit show (Farscape One)


I’m not very sharp at this, but here’s a few -

“The Chase” – You’ve got DNA matches!
“Lessons” – stellar cartography: Just duet
“The Game” – Robin’s Law #101: Always let Wesley be the hero
“Captain’s Holiday” – Tox Uthat…can you dig it?
“Fistful of Datas” -- Deanna and Data in Western drag
“Tin Man” – Peter Pan loves a giant pine cone
“Matter of Perspective” – Riker does Rashomon

 

[Oddish]

Lessons” – stellar cartography: Just duet
“The Game” – Robin’s Law #101: Always let Wesley be the hero

Those are good ones.

SEASON 7...

Descent part II: Boy, am I glad Janeway put a stop to that "calling women 'sir''' crap.

Liasons: Deanna does a chocolate party, Worf gets in a fight, and Picard has a scene right out of a romance novel.

Interface: Looks like Geordi is the last main crew member who hasn't suffered a major family traged... oops, never mind.

Gambit: Picard's a mercenary, Riker's captain.

Gambit part II: Picard and Riker are mercenaries, Data's captain.

Phantasms: Deanna's a yummy cellular peptide cake... with mint frosting!

Phantasms (Again): Riker's head seems to be full of fruit punch... but we knew that already, didn't we?

Phantasms (One more time): Picard manages to avoid the Annual Admiral's Banquet... again.

 

[Weyoun 251]

Fistful of Datas - sadly not the story of how Data spent his downtime after discovering how functional he was...

All Good Things... - a title that is more than a little prescient considering what comes to follow

Family - Picard goes home to have some whine with his cheese

 

[Weyoun 251]

Encounter at Farpoint - where do you think Judge Judy got that sass from?

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Judge Q-dy...

 

[Oddish]

Dark Page: Lwaxana demonstrates the WRONG way to deal with tragic loss.

Attached: Beverly/Picard romance gets shot out of the saddle.

Force of Nature: Hel-LO warp five speed limit!

Inheritance: We find out about Data's former streaking habit.

Parallels: Worf goes reality-hopping.

The Pegasus: Gee, I wonder where the Enterprise finale came from...

Homeward: How to Character Assassinate Picard 101

Sub Rosa: We find out that ghosts are just anaphasic lifeforms that want to get in your pants.

Should finish S7 next time. Then it's on to the movies!

 

[Weyoun 251]

Dark Page: Lwaxana demonstrates the WRONG way to deal with tragic loss.

Attached: Beverly/Picard romance gets shot out of the saddle.

Force of Nature: Hel-LO warp five speed limit!

Inheritance: We find out about Data's former streaking habit.

Parallels: Worf goes reality-hopping.

The Pegasus: Gee, I wonder where the Enterprise finale came from...

Homeward: How to Character Assassinate Picard 101

Sub Rosa: We find out that ghosts are just anaphasic lifeforms that want to get in your pants.

Should finish S7 next time. Then it's on to the movies!

Force of Nature - it's been a long road, getting warp back down to here