Spoilers Star Trek: Picard 2x07 - "Monsters"

So Picard's Mum is crazy and his Dad isn't a monster? But there's "more to the story"

That Voyager uniform with the colours inverted First Contact style bothered me greatly until I realised it was all in Picard's head and thus very likely intentional.

Lots of unanswered questions to be resolved in three episodes. Or perhaps, left hanging in the air forever.

 

Or maybe for fan fic writers like me to pick up... not very different from what all the other Trek shows did, lots of unanswered questions for fic writers to explore there as well - they're simply continuing the tradition.

 

Why Oh Why oh why oh why did they just gloss over the fact that Picard is an android and somehow being taken care of by a 21st century doctor... An android that somehow requires psychotherapy to come out of a coma... The "endorphins" thing also wrecked my common sense. How does breaking a window create endorphins?


And if you have full control over Jurati why not just steal a motorcycle and go joy riding for a while? Also if the borg queen is in control of Jurati is she making herself feel good or is she trying to make Jurati feel good who isn't even in control (and probably terrified)?


Also that clip of Guinan and Q from ST:TNG said that the run in between their species was "two centuries ago" which would put it well after the 21st century.... So why would Guinan have a magic bottle to call a Q in the 21st century?


Their not even trying to make sense. The writing on this show is like someone who seems smart but seems more stupid the more they talk.

They don't know when to shut up and they keep adding things that make things seem worse.


S2 of Picard is literally everything I was afraid would happen with S1. Just a circle jerk of nostalgia references and figuring out things for the cast to do with no real substantive story.


S1 had problems (especially that ending), but it is compared to the dumpster fire that is S2 after episode 1 promised to be good.... I really didn't need to dive into the love life of a 96 year old or childhood trauma that should have been resolved 70 years ago.

The characters were doing something and had lines instead of just standing around. fine.
Rios is a idiot with a hard-on. Oh Raffi can transport a do-dad into Rios hands in a matter of 1 second but couldn’t beam Rios onto solid ground?

Not Laris character is just so lame.

So Watchers are Romulans? So how do Romulans determine who needs to be watched and why?
Why ? why would Romulans care as they the enemy of Earth in the future.

Funny how the 24th century Romulans don’t seem to have watchers.

Guinan has dealings with Q 200 years prior to TNG but that is still 200 years past where they presently are. And wtf we’ve waited years to get answers behind Guinan and Q. They could have made up anything and we would have gobbled it up like ice cream on a hot day buuuuuuutttt NOPE!! They just give us no answers and a big let down


Why aren’t they showing Renee? Isn’t This season supposed to be about protecting her?

Not Laris made one comment that she is safe but how can she be safe with Soong having too security clearances to get anywhere they are quarantining her.

This was by far the most stupid episode in the history of trek. I say that regularly the last few years but this was a special kinda stupid. It's a total waste of time, money, and brain cells. I hope nothing but bad things come to everyone involved in making this crap. It's infuriating. We fans want to love all things star trek and the writers just won't allow it. Wanna see my spaceship?? "Drops cup"

And we can't talk or criticize Rafi as the Mods have forbidden it. Because she is blank and blank.

Picard is like 100 years old, and he has to go back in time to save the world but has to explore his mommy and daddy issues, which he never reconciled with before this series.

Rios makes an awful call and can’t do shit right. I wish Jurati could go away, but she’s now part of this story with this Borg queen nonsense on the loose in LA. Borg Endorphins .. wtf? And now… the FBI arrests Picard … what the hell are we watching?

 

He's not an android. He's a synthetic human. He's a golem. It's not the same as an android. All of his tissue and is syntho-organic. He's not wires and circuits. He's synthetic flesh and blood.

Having dealt with older people, trust me, just because you're old doesn't mean you don't have issues.

Bear in mind I gave this a 6 out of 10. So it's not exactly my favorite episode either. But some of this stuff you're just picking apart just to pick apart.

EDITED: The spelling of golem corrected. Thanks @MrPicard !

 

Golem, not gollum - he's not walking around hissing about wanting some ring with magic powers. But otherwise, yeah.

And omg heaven forbid a 96 year old guy has a love life (or rather, it's explained why he DOESN'T have one)...

 

While I kind of got a kick out of daddy Baltar and Mom being a redhead, this episode, like the last one did very little to move the overall story along apart from setting up the next episode. Guinan can't summon Q with some mystical bullshit, Picard is in Jail for beaming down, and the crew now knows that Jurati has a Borg problem, and now we know not Laris is Laris's grandmother who also has magically dominant appearance genes that are immune to the randomizing of meiosis.

 

My questions & comments as I watched Star Trek: Picard season 2, episode 7 in real time. Thank you in advance for your time, and I encourage all comments.

**SPOILERS**


1)Well we can start with:- We open in what I assume is Picard's synthetic android subconscious, where we are treated to a psychiatric session of sorts whereby the imaginary shrink is looking to do a psyche analysis on an imaginary representation of our title character. Honestly the whole time I keep thinking that because none of this is "real" I don't care remotely about this conversation.

2) As if to almost double down, the show then seemingly gives us yet another dream-like scenario whereby we are treated to a conversation with an imaginary representation of Picard's mother & an imaginary representation of Picard as a boy. Once again, I can't help but be reminded that none of these details are anything other than fabrications. Fabrications I have no way of verifying to be true, especially since they seem to represent characters in a manner that runs counter to they have previously been established in Star Trek lore. And again, I find myself unable to give a damn about these fictional individuals whatsoever.

3) Where is Robert Picard?

4) Momma Picard tells Jean Luc that he's like his father in that he uses his hands instead of his mouth, and given the fact that the show seems hellbent on presenting Papa Picard as a physically abusive man I cannot help but think... What a dickhead thing to tell your child.

5) Back in the hospital, now morning. Where is Not Laris? Was she not working her magic MacGuffin device since the middle of the night? Why hasn't she solved Picard's mental block by now?

6) Seven suggests they still can't track down Ag-borg, so they finally have the bright idea to use the La Sirena's tech to track her. This immediately begs the question why Seven & Raffi - who were literally in the same room as Ag-borg during her cringeworthy solo - didn't also immediately grab the Daystrom Institute cyberneticist's arm when they heard Picard was struck down outside. But I know, I know... the show hoped we didn't notice to ask something like that.

7) Gee, sure hope the French cop didn't wake up and find the ship again. Or wonder why his neck is completely covered in bruises.

8) Gee, I wonder if any other French cops came out to look for their colleague.

9) Gee I hope the cloaking device is now actually working, but then again or else, you know... people might freak out and all.

10) Given the fact that Seven & Raffi were absolutely useless in Picard's ridiculous party crashing plan to begin with, I can't help but feel that at least ONE of these two could have stayed behind. You know, there being a ship with a cloak on the fritz and all that could easily have been discovered over the last 12 or so hours. But nope, this show insists on having really smart characters making the most incompetent decisions and doing the dumbest things.

11) Imagine how efficient it would be if a Seven was already at the La Sirena, maybe continuing repairs to the vessel in the event they needed to leave quickly or even made the smart decision to fly the cloaked ship in low orbit so as to evade further detection... Imagine how fast it would be for her to have detected Ag-borg wandering off from the party. Could maybe have even transported her & Picard to sick bay. Surely a powered bio-bed and her skills as a Daystrom Institute cyberneticist could have made short work on Picard's damage. And certainly could have avoided a doctor from 2024 potentially learning about Picard's futuristic body.

12) It was at this time when I wondered if anyone associated with our crew would fix that poor doctor's defibrillator...

13) I'm also still unclear how they got Picard to this hospital in the first place. It's obviously not exactly next door to where the fundraiser was held.

14) Holy crap. Not Laris only now enters the scene and we are meant to believe that she hasn't even started her work yet!? Bruh... the sun is legit up now. What the hell kind of sloppiness is this writing.

15) Raffi and Seven transport to the La Sirena and no explanation is given as to how they did just that. If anything this only further puts into question Rios' competence for not transporting Picard & crew to the ship like this in the first place. But no, we need a ridiculous excuse to shoehorn in the doctor again. Absolutely trash writing that makes what should be the most intelligent Starfleet officers look completely incompetent.

16) Raffi tells Seven she will "quit the gang" if Rios & Ag-borg start up a relationship again, and I suddenly find myself hoping that exact outcome will happen.

17) Come to think of it I know several Star Trek fans that were upset over a relationship in this show - when they learned Seven didn't even seem to remember Chakotay. I think many of them have since also "quit the gang".

18) And then without any reason whatsoever, Raffi suggests she wants to rekindle her "main attraction" relationship with Seven. A relationship we've never seen. A relationship we don't care about. A relationship we cannot possibly be invested in. A relationship that seems to exist for no reason other than to produce some of the worst situational dialogue between two characters I've ever seen in any Star Trek. Suddenly I'm thinking is it possible the writers are having a meta moment here? Do they want more of us to "quit the gang"?

19) Seriously could there be any other two characters in the history of television with less chemistry than these two!?

20) Raffi is actually chipper for once. Seems odd given that Elnor's barely cold corpse is only a couple dozen feet from her, but sure, talk about growing old Raffi.

21) Seven is shocked when her console shuts down. Again, this likely could have been avoided had she stayed behind from the fundraiser...

22) These two geniuses quickly figure out the Borg Queen has duped them, which given the incompetence of these characters, doesn't seem like a tall task to be honest.

23) Characters state that without ship they'll never find Ag-borg. Again, even if this were true (it's not, we literally just saw you figure it out with Rios) then maybe you two geniuses should have followed Jurati at the fundraiser. Especially since she is the least qualified amongst you to be left alone on a mission like this. But oh right I forgot you're incompetent.

24) Raffi says this ship is their only way home. Really? Not the omnipotent being called Q? Mmmkay. Also, maybe if you weren't written to be incompetent you'd have stayed behind on it to ensure something this contrived would never have happened.

25) Watcher again. About to "mind-meld" (her words, not mine) with Picard. And because the show thinks we're absolutely stupid people, she's literally wearing something ridiculous that evokes a Vulcan's ear. Are you actually kidding me show. Do you think we are so stupid that we need a visual design to connect the dots of what Vulcans do when they mind-meld, and what this Not Laris character does now? I'm so embarassed. I'm so embarassed that this is what Star Trek is today. A metal device that just so happens to look like a Vulcan's ear. Right before she's about to do a mind-meld - again her words. What's next?? If she wants to headbutt anyone will she whip out a helmet shaped like a Klingon's ridges?? God dammit is this show ever stupid.

26) Rios closes a set of blinds. Is someone there now? Are they not worried that employees are going to start freaking out when they discover a nearly dead old man on the premises!?

27) Not Laris says she's into leaps of faith which seems to be completely counter to what Watchers actually do. It also seems to be a poorly written excuse to keep the writers from explaining this nonsense.

28) Knowing that she is jumping into a dream world Not Laris seems surprised that she jumps into a dream world.

29) Dream Picard again. None of this is real so honestly? Who cares. But I still find it odd that Dream Picard would be surprised to learn that Starfleet wouldn't have psychologists employed? (Don't tell me they blew up Mars too! lol)

30) Did Dream Psychologist just say, "John Luke"?

31) Not Laris walks down an corridor while several soundbites of vastly superior Star Trek episodes can be heard. The irony is not lost on me.

32) Not Laris seems scared for her physical well-being despite this being a dream world. Is a dream world mind that's practically comatose really a "sober" mind...?

33) Dream Picard, Junior Edition is a whinging little guy isn't he? Are they really going to try and convince us that the 94 year old synthetic android, who has achieved more than any other human being and battled through more than any other human being, is really traumatized from his guilt association with Momma Picard? FML are we really and truly expected to believe any of this implausible nonsense?

34) He did! He did say "John Luke"!

35) Except now he IS saying Jean Luc. What the actual what, man lol

36) Monsters attack Dream Not Laris, and honestly? Who cares.

37) Rios allows 2024 doctor to walk in on Picard and white eyed Not Laris because he is incompetent.
PART TWO...

38) There is absolutely no reason why Picard, Rios, and Not Laris shouldn't have also transported back to the La Sirena. This is stupid, sloppy, lazy, and incompetent writing.

39) Gee I sure do hope that is happening to Renee Picard right about now. Be so ironic if a Watcher wouldn't be there to witness or stop Renee from choking on a chicken bone at lunch while in quarantine or something. I guess that's that "leap of faith" she's rolling on about! Not like a guy didn't just try to murder her last night. Seriously how hilarious would it be if new board member Soong, feeling even more desperate, insisted on meeting the star quarantined astronaut, threatening to pull his funding if he didn't wish her off. Maybe a note from Renee's shrink that it would do her well to get such a prestigious send off from the totally not discredited doctor. And once alone with Renee new Europa board member Soong could infect her with some undetectable pathogen that will kill her in, say, two more days. You know? That's almost as dumb as what we've been getting. lmao

40) Face of "Monster" is purposely blurred so that the show can pretend there is tension leading up to a reveal. Literally this creative team is so uncreative that they are just repeating this same trope from the first episode and the stupidly hidden Borg Queen.

41) 2024 Doctor now tells us that "we are at life or death". I guess her using a defibrillator and having her hands inside Picard's chest (her words, not mine) didn't qualify as life or death. Great writing!!

42) Literally proving the point that Picard should be on the La Sirena, Raffi beams to Rios equipment that he needs. He almost seems shocked that a doctor in 2024 wouldn't possess the necessary equipment for a 25th century synthetic android! This show is so stupid.

43) Raffi, without a word, immediately beams the exact instrument Rios needs. This show is so stupid.

44) Raffi has some amazing aim! Transporting the stabilizer into Rios' hands! How did she know? She's amazing! This show is so stupid.

45) Good thing the Borg Queen didn't disable the transporters eh?? This show is so stupid.

46) Rios, a Starfleet captain, who absolutely would have basic medical and survival training, gives 2024 Doctor a 25th century stabilizer and encourages her to "be in the moment". You read that right. This is not a joke. This is actually something that happened in a Star Trek episode made today. Rios expects her to know how to use it. He is not merely incompetent but he is grossly negligent in his duties. These writers, producers, showrunner, etc. should all be replaced immediately.

47) 2024 Doctor legitimately asks if she'll kill him. Rios says he trusts her, as if that's an actual answer, and she stupidly proceeds anyway. This show is so stupid.

48) Seven of Nine literally spent several years assisting the Doctor on Voyager. She is absolutely the best person to be treating Picard at this moment.

49) Wait, what? We're back with Dream Not Laris & blurry faced Monster is magically no longer around or holding Dream Picard, Junior Edition? What kind of trash editing is this!?

50) Unprovoked and with no logic behind it Dream Not Laris asks boy if he is doing this on purpose? There is literally no motivational reason for Dream Not Laris to ask this question.

51) Writers forget to write a scene whereby Dream Not Laris confirms that the little bit she is talking to is, in fact, Dream Picard, and not just some random imaginary representation just like the "monsters" were. Who does Dream Not Laris know that the monster who choked her wasn't the Picard she was trying to connect with...?

52) So basically 2024 Doctor turns on 25th century stabilizer and holds it to Picard's head. Exactly why couldn't Rios do this? Or right, because he's incompetent and the writers are terrible.

53) A door appears in front of Dream Not Laris and Dream Picard, Junior Edition and despite his claims suggesting otherwise the door is in fact, not white.

54) Back to the La Sirena where the cloaking device is not engaged because crew is still incompetent and production team is without a showrunner that knows what they are doing. Sure hope that cope doesn't wake up right about now.

55) "At least the replicators work". If only the crew used them to replicate 2024 cellphones soon after arriving they could have blended in well and avoided all the ridiculous shenanigans associated with this ridiculous story. Could even have made it a priority for the auto repair program - itself a stupid gobbledygook contrivance - so that their mission be only delayed an hour or so.

56) Seven, finally resembling the Seven I've watched for years, is literally working hard to solve the problem of being locked out of the console. So naturally this is the time when Raffi wants to talk about her coffee... Fire these writers immediately.

57) Oh look. The internal camera trope.

58) Oh there is the white door. Still dumb.

59) In a twist that will surprise no one, Dream Psychologist is now Dream Papa Picard.

60) Why isn't Robert Picard anywhere? Surely the creative team didn't forget Picard's brother...

61) So instead of Papa Picard being confirmed as a physically abusive individual, it now seems that the show wants us to believe Momma Picard suffers from severe mental health issues. No idea where Robert is...

62) Dream Picard suggests to Dream Papa Picard that perhaps he never really knew him, and because this is still a dream, further knowledge of him is still not possible.

63) Dream Not Laris feels compelled to have a pep talk with Dream Picard, Junior Edition who, of course will never learn to do anything with his pain. This is, of course, more vapid virtue signalling from a terrible writing staff.

64) Picard wakes up for no reason whatsoever. I think the show equates Dream Momma Picard's diagnosis reveal with that of Picard learning something...?

65) Rios transports 2024 Doctor and 2024 Kid to La Sirena because, you know, fuck the timeline.

66) 2024 Doctor drops her coffee cup, and despite it smashing to bits, no coffee splashes anywhere.

67) 2024 Kid immediately exclaims he's gonna touch everything.

68) So let me get this straight. Seven & Raffi can't keep an eye on Ag-borg despite her centre stage cringeworthy solo performance, but now suddenly have the ability to tap into what I can only assume is City CCTV footage? They didn't think to do this after they first arrived at the clinic with Picard? You know what? I don't care... this show is so stupid.

69) Apparently Not Laris is a Romulan. Whatever, who cares.

70) With some spectacular logic leaping, Picard comes to the conclusion that he must "know" Q in order to beat him at his own game. Whatever, who cares.

71) Not Guinan has a McGuffin elixir what does something stupid. I hate everything about this.

72) Oh my god Seven is talking about endorphins being needed to assimilate Ag-borg faster. This might possibly be, the single stupidest thing I've ever seen in any Star Trek ever made. Spock's Brain is a masterpiece compared to the story idea that Both assimilate only because the recipient experiences endorphins. Picard literally killed a crewmember who was pleading for him to end his life on the Enterprise-E because the process of assimilation was excruciating and with his last ounce of humanity wanted to die rather than become Borg. Fuck this show. Fuck the awful writing from the irresponsible writers. Fuck Alex Kurtzman for wrecking this once-beloved franchise.

73) Bar door opens and Picard wonders if it's Q. And for a second, I really wanted George Wendt to make an appearance.

74) Not Guinan is an asshole to her customer.

75) Oh look at that, the whole federal agents suddenly appearing out of every nook and cranny trope. Amazing that none of them appeared from those backrooms sooner, what with all the demons speaking out loud and bottles magically rattling around.

76) Actual Guinan would never have been duped by this federal agent pretending to be a customer. Not Guinan didn't even know half the force was hiding in her stockroom lol.

77) Credits finally roll on what might be the worst single episode of the worst Star Trek show ever mad If you like it, that's great.But don't you think Star Trek fans deserve better than this???

 

Ah the Q in a Bottle thing. When I saw that I was all ‘this is it. I’m having a stroke.’ There didn’t seem to be any other explanation for it.

But according to this thread others saw it too. So that was a thing they actually did: Not-Guinan opens a bottle and lights flicker and glasses break and Q appears. But because we need a mini cliffhanger it’s - surprise! - an FBI agent.

And Picard dropped his comm badge. Because we need that tired trope twice in the space of four episodes.

Oh well. The first two episodes were really great.

 

Oh, dear. The irony.

Spock’s disembodied brain says hi, and so do Janeway and Paris’s inexplicable lizard babies. Quark as a feehmale also sends his/her regards, and so does the space ghost that lives in a candle and was boning all the women in Beverly Crusher’s family.

Admittedly not the best episode. It was middling rather than bad though. The scenes in Picard’s brain lacked emotional resonance for me, although I’m glad it was revealed Picard’s father wasn’t a wife beater, which wouldn’t have sat at all well with Trek’s vision of the future. The writing just wasn’t stellar though. These scenes felt like a detour and didn’t gel at all with the rest of the story, which is crawling at a snail’s pace now. Like DSC season four, there’s just not enough plot to be stretched across ten episodes. I’m hopeful the next episode may pick up the pace and deliver a little more satisfaction.

 

Oh my. It’s worse than I thought. We now have to defend episodes by saying “well Spock’s Brain was worse.”

 

Don’t straw man me, man. I’m saying that the statement it was the “stupidest episode of Star Trek ever made” is, frankly, objectively false. I’m critical of the episode myself, if you actually read my post, but I object to the hyperbole of “WORST EPISODE EVER!!” When it clearly is not.

 

Given the quality of the writing so far this season of the show, I don't expect they will wrap things up in any sort of satisfactory way in the remaining three episodes. Not that it matters much even if they did manage that: you're doing something wrong if you hold your audience's suspension of disbelief hostage for hours of television at a time in hopes of getting a payoff at the end.

 

The gloss of modern production on a show like Picard makes it easier to ignore/forgive bad writing. This is something TOS did not have going for it, particularly not for us watching it a decade or more after it was originally released. But I'd say Spock's Brain was a better, more original, more internally consistent episode of Star Trek than most of the episodes of Picard have been this season. Certainly a better example of a work of science fiction.

 

Losing your temper wasn’t necessary. I was just being silly.

But now that you’ve sternly chastised me I’ll address your point by saying: we remember Justice because it’s ‘the one with the frolicking 80s SoCal sex aliens’ and same with the other bottom-dwelling episodes in Star Trek history…this episode isn’t a contender for worst episode ever because like the rest of this season it was just sort of there. We watched it, Picard said some things, Rios flirted. There were monsters? And French people who sound British for some reason. Oh, and Muscle-Guinan. And that’s it. Its nondescript mediocrity inoculated it against comparisons to the episodes you mentioned.

 

Because he is not an Android.

 

Sounds like a great episode when you put it that way.

 

Forget trying to convince a certain section of the fandom of this. They have established the narrative among themselves that "Picard is a soulless robot now" and nothing's gonna get them to realize that he doesn't look like Data on the inside and that he is flesh and blood and that therefore a doctor and not an engineer is still the correct person to take care of him in case of injury. (Maybe not with an old-fashioned - by 24th/25th century standards - defibrillator tho, granted.)

"Picard is a soulless robot now" is the same stuff as "Disco has been canceled", "Kurtzman has been fired", etc etc - all excellent examples of the "tell a lie often enough and it becomes the truth". Or rather, an alternative Trek fact in certain fandom sub sections.

 

I think the "protect Renee" storyline is solved and over.

 

I watch thinking it can't get much worse, but this was honestly the worse episode in the franchise. Worse than the voyager Salamander episode, DS9's Move along Home, TNG's code of honor. This show has moved all ver the place with plot, it's such a meandering mess, and the fact that they drop in lines from other show's or movies ( I only work in space) shouldn't be taken as wonderful writing.