Fortunately, admitting to myself that I'm a little burned out has helped. The vacation in February will hopefully help things along further. Things at work are cooling and I'm dealing with things better.I hope your vacation helps.
Fortunately, admitting to myself that I'm a little burned out has helped. The vacation in February will hopefully help things along further. Things at work are cooling and I'm dealing with things better.I hope your vacation helps.
Stanford's Sapolsky On Depression in U.S. (Full Lecture)
Sapolsky is a great lecturer --- he is the one people climb the mountain to see and ask him the question what is the meaning of life. There are lots of bio-psychiatric type lectures by him I have watched about 7-8 different class lectures by him.. this depression lecture leads to depression being biological like any biological disease such as diabetes.
I have not had time as of recent to view the posts here ---I hope to catch up soon-- and maybe comment some
Love everyone in the most appropriate ways -- peace
Like Barclay, I suffer from social anxiety disorder, severely. Have since childhood. The portrayal on the show is somewhat accurate and somewhat inaccurate.
I think people misunderstand social anxiety, particularly its scale and how universal it can be. It induces counter-intuitive behaviour, sometimes.
I think people misunderstand social anxiety, particularly its scale and how universal it can be. It induces counter-intuitive behaviour, sometimes.
It has wrecked my life in so many ways. Professionally worst of all. Honestly, I'm not sure there's much of a place for people like me in a capitalist society.
I'm quite smart (I don't say that to brag, it's just one of the few things about me I don't doubt) and I have a decent degree (Master's in Computer Science), that should open doors to many job opportunities.
... but those things are meaningless when I can't handle job interviews. Of course, with that came periods of long-term unemployment, which any recruiter asks about, expecting answers that aren't "mental illness".
I'm currently doing a PhD. In Belgium, that means I'm currently gainfully employed. Not getting paid as much as someone with a Master's in CS gets in the private sector, but still paid decently. I'm in my last year, though, and I'm failing. Too much left to do in too little time.
Even if I had the time, I've been depressed lately, which has hampered my progress a lot. Some days, I can force myself to work 10-12 hours, others I don't want to do anything and look forward to the (official) end of the day... where I still don't want to do anything. No work, no recreation of any kind, just eat and sleep. Even struggled to find the motivation to rewatch Star Trek, at times!
So, that'll be another stain on the CV, "spent the last few years failing a PhD, writing mediocre articles that collect very few citations".
There have been victories in the past few years, overall, I've managed to give (mediocre) presentations at conferences, which is something old me wouldn't have thought possible. But those are victories by my standards, and they take me way too long to prepare compared to my colleagues: for them, preparing a presentation is a matter of hours, it takes me days. For them, conferences are a joyful opportunity to meet familiar faces and keep informed on who is doing what, for me they're a font of constant anxiety that only abates when they end.
In fact, almost everyday is a struggle against social anxiety (and against the stress of the workload - I might be failing, but I'm going to give it all on this last chance), even in covid times when everything is done remotely. I'm so tired of that. Decades where almost everyday is filled with anxiety left me exhausted. I just want some semblance of normalcy, but I'm not going to get it. The routine many people dread, I would welcome!
When the funding runs out, I'll be back in the hopeless situation I was in a few years ago, unable to find work.
I have a small nest egg, but with no source of revenue, it'll fade quickly, and then I don't know what I'll do. I don't see a solution, and I'm so tired.
I've seen the sentiment "productivity doesn't define your worth" upthread... but in a society where it defines whether you have a roof over your head and food in your belly, the message sent is clear: it does.
Damn. I'm so sorry. *hugs*Follow up: yep, I failed. Spent the past couple of months looking for work, with predictable results.
Follow up: yep, I failed. Spent the past couple of months looking for work, with predictable results.
Damn. I'm so sorry. *hugs*
can we change the name of this thread to mental wellness? or mental health?
I think the OP left the board, so I guess she can't object.
I had to stop hormone replacement therapy before my knee surgery (12/10) and then stay off because it can cause blood clotting. Between that and post-surgery being *much* harder than I expected, I wasn't doing so well over the holidays. So after I got a "doing good" from the surgeon on 1/12, I went back on HRT.
It did help. But then I went to the ER (dehydration) and they saw something on my liver in a CT scan they wanted me to follow-up with my doc about. So I had an ultrasound, which was inconclusive, and now have a more detailed CT scan scheduled for Monday.
Being me, I did some research and found that liver cancer is increasing, and obesity is a high risk factor (I've lost a lot of weight but I'm still medically obese). Between that, my birthday Sunday, and some other stresses, my anxiety has been *through the roof*. ARGH!
I told a drinker I knew if they didn't stop drinking I was going stop knowing them. Yes, very tough love. It worked. They quit and joined AA. Six years sober. We're best friends today.
Maybe my threat made them want to quit, though.
Never stop trying to help someone stop drinking unless you think that's the best way to help.
We use essential cookies to make this site work, and optional cookies to enhance your experience.