Star Trek Hunter
Episode 5: The Fires of Pon Farr
Scene 8: Malloriah Uhr
5.8
Malloriah Uhr
Malloriah Uhr
With the Hunter’s upgrades complete and the recursive warp programming ready two days ahead of schedule, the crew had been recalled from Earth to Mars. The wagon had been dispatched back to Earth to pick up the last group from North America.
Commander David Pepper, Lt. Commander Mlady, Dr. Tali Shae, Dr. Sarekson Carrera and 2nd Lt. Tauk were seated at the antique teak table in the executive conference room. Another person sat across from them - a small, round, older woman with dark skin wearing a flower print dress, horn rimmed glasses, a severe expression and a mass of unruly iron gray hair tied up in a bun. Out of habit, they all rose when Justice Minerva Irons entered the room - all except their new visitor.
Pep gestured toward their visitor, “Your honor, I’d like to introduce Malloriah Urh”
“Urrh,” the severe looking woman corrected, sounding and looking like an old-fashioned school marm.
“Urrhh,” Pep tried.
“No. Urrgh”
“Urrg,” Pep responded.
“Not Arrgh - I’m not a pirate - Urrgh. Kind of like an Arabic ghuh”
“Urrgghhh”
“Urrrrgggghhh”
“Urrrrrgggghhh”
“Urrrrrgggghhhh”
“Urrrrggghhh…” they said together, almost in unison.
“Not bad, that’s close enough,” Malloriah Urh said.
“Urrgh,” Pep said quietly, still trying to master the sound.
“You should have stopped while you were ahead. Anyway, you can call me Mallory.”
Justice Irons and the others in the room had watched this odd exchange as if they had been watching a tennis match.
Malloriah Urh turned to Irons and speaking at a rapid clip, said, “You are very pleased to meet me and it was no trouble for you at all for me to cancel my classes and clinical hours and fly all the way from Nairobi to Mars to join your little witch hunt.”
Irons responded evenly, “You are correct - it was no trouble for me at all.”
Mallory smiled briefly as though she had finally encountered a kindred spirit. The smile lifted years from her face for only a second, then the stern look returned. “Okay Judge, let me get this straight… You added the one and only Dr. Kenny Dolphin, the Man who Broke the Federation, celebrated by naturalborn movements throughout the Alpha Quadrant as the galaxy’s greatest hybridophobe, to your crew because you thought it would be a good idea. In less than a week he’s nearly murdered one of your hybrid crew members and now he’s screwing your vulcan security officer…”
Pep coughed and tried desperately not to laugh.
Irons rolled her eyes. “You’re leaving out the bit about this powerful telepath who has been making humans murder human/trill hybrids, the fact that Dr. Dolphin is not actually a hybridophobe - is that even a word? - and the vulcan officer in question is going through Pon Farr…”
“Details… details..” Mallory waved her hand impatiently. “Okay, I didn’t read Dr. Fishy’s work, but I have a good picture of it - he doesn’t have a problem with hybrids. He just thinks it’s a good idea for humanity to stop and think for a moment about your policy of screwing every sentient species you encounter that walks on two legs. Or, in some few cases three legs or four…”
Pep snorted again, squeaking with repressed laughter.
Mallory focused on the giant officer with the intensity of a laser. “Laugh it up, big boy. 180 years ago your girlfriend was a quadruped.”
Pep was holding his sides and trying not to slide out of his chair. Tauk gave him a strange look. Dr. Tali Shae was laughing silently and nodding, her antennae twitching.
Mallory continued speaking at tremendous speed, “So Goldilocks has this kill command in his head that your vulcan assassin, who is also a betazoid assassin who you’re calling BK2 put there using a series of mind-melds. Only I can’t find any evidence of such a mind-meld. But considering I haven’t gotten within 2,000 miles of him yet, I haven’t been able to perform a detailed scan. He and his vulcan girlfriend have tried to find it a few times themselves, but they keep getting distracted.”
Pep had finally managed to start breathing again.
Mallory continued without missing a beat, “So now those poor, sick love puppies have just left Rhode Island along with their honor guard of street kids. That poor young vulcan is experiencing a very rough Pon Farr. Fortunately, she chose a middle aged human to help her through it - someone with a well-established personality. Your Dr. Kenny has been through some heavy crap - he’s weathered a few storms. A younger human wouldn’t have the kind of emotional strength and experience T’Lon needs to keep her mind centered. The tradeoff is that he’s no spring chicken and that girl is nearly three times stronger than he is. He needs medical attention and the remainder of this process should be medically supervised.”
Dr. Tali Shae responded, “I’ve been preparing a brig unit for them. I can beam him out of there if he is in serious danger. I’ve also been thinking about binding her toward the end of this process so she doesn’t accidentally crush his spine.”
“Both good ideas,” Mallory said. Her voice had a crisp sound and she spoke very quickly. “He will be in serious danger wherever he is. She has occasionally taken control of his muscles…” Malloriah Urh’s voice trailed off - she laid her head back and rolled her eyes. “They’re in one of the brig units on the wagon - they’re going after it right now!”
Pep coughed hard, putting his cup down, choking on his water.
“You have no idea what’s headed your way” Mallory continued. “That poor girl is having an unusually fiery Pon Farr. Combine that with what a powerful telepath she is - her brain is foaming out lust like a hot champagne bottle. In about nine months Rhode Island is going to have a baby boom like nothing they have seen in centuries. I’ll do what I can to counter the effect when they get here, but you need to get ready for a deluge of, what do you call them? Dissertations? Declarations? Disclosures… You need to get ready for a deluge of disclosures because your crew are going to be screwing like squirrels.”
By this point Pep was gasping for air, tears in his eyes. Tauk laughed, then started coughing helplessly. Tali Shae was also laughing. Mlady was smiling a bit too widely, unintentionally displaying a few of her fangs. Dr. Carrera was blushing violently.
Irons looked concerned. “That will seriously impede our mission…”
“As I said, I will do what I can to mute the effect so it should be manageable. But I’m going to want a boyfriend or two before this is all over,” Mallory said.
“Can’t breathe,” Pep managed to squeak, then he managed a few heaving, gasping breaths, still unable to stop laughing.
5.8 (of 9)
