Funerals....a load of bollocks???

[ED-209]

So since I have a chronic illness and can't get life insurance I have decided to get a funeral plan over the next 10 years so I can at least pay for my own funeral.

The costs are astronomically high!! it's daylight robbery charging that so people can say their goodbyes to you.

My family aren't religious, so I'm considering donating my body to science (gets rid of the burial/cremation costs) and telling people just to have a party in my honour.

It's shook my whole belief in the entire concept frankly.

What do you guys think of this and the subject in general?

 

[nedski]

Now that you mentioned it .... just remembered Reese Witherspoon's movie called Wild (2014) - her mother - Laura Dern in the movie, donated her eyeballs to someone just right before she died.
I remember it wasn't a nice surprise for her children....
If you ask me..... you shouldn't worry about such things.... it doesn't matter after that...
There's no reincarnation, no heaven, no nothing after that. Just energy and after that nothing.
Those who care about you will sure do something ....
When my time will come, I'll stay among a few friends, or have a friend for a talk and later I'll just buy a bottle of wine and just wait.
But my guess is that I'll have a stroke before worrying about this ....

There's this old wise man an Indian philosopher - Jiddu Krishnamurti , discovered by a man called Charles Webster Leadbeater (an occultist and theosophist) who took him to UK and gave him a strong education.... later Jiddu moved to US. He has a few interesting points of view on many subjects....

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P.S. I didn't say that out of mockery or disrespect.... just saying...

 

[auntiehill]

So since I have a chronic illness and can't get life insurance I have decided to get a funeral plan over the next 10 years so I can at least pay for my own funeral.

The costs are astronomically high!! it's daylight robbery charging that so people can say their goodbyes to you.

My family aren't religious, so I'm considering donating my body to science (gets rid of the burial/cremation costs) and telling people just to have a party in my honour.

It's shook my whole belief in the entire concept frankly.

What do you guys think of this and the subject in general?

A simple cremation is actually not that expensive if you don't go for all the expensive urns and other ridiculous crap they pressure grieving familes into buying. Surprisingly, donating your body to science is actually not that easy. My MIL wanted to donate her body to medical science but found out her age and medical history disqualified her.

If you want to do a whole body donation, start doing your research now because the process varies greatly from state to state.

There's nothing odd about planning your funeral in advance; it seems like a very responsible thing to do. We had a very simple nonreligious service for my Dad at a small funeral home. He had prepaid for the cremation years before, and the funeral still cost thousands,

 

[Oddish]

My policy is simple: donate whatever organs other people can use (won'tbe much at my age), burn the rest. Since most people's reaction to me ranges from indifference to simple dislike, few people will mourn my departure. Since that is the purpose of a funeral, I am fine without one.

 

[Non Sync]

Simple cremation using a basic cardboard container or, if available in your state, aquafication. Aquafication is a newer, more environmentally friendly process where the body is dissolved using alkaline hydrolysis which is a more environmentally sustainable process.

Pre-need planning is definitely the way to go. It saves everyone the burden of making decisions at a difficult time and can lock in pricing. One thing my parents are missed with their planning was burial vaults for their ashes as required by the cemetery.

My aunt who had a terminal illness was very active in planning her funeral, to the point that my brother pronounced "it was the most fun I had a funeral." My observation was that she should have had it while she was still with us.

Of course, I want to go in my sleep, just like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers.

 

[Oddish]

Another environmentally friendly method is one that just got approved in my state; it's where a body is basically rendered into compost, which can then be used to plant trees or flowers or whatever. No expensive casket, no toxic embalming fluids, no burnt propane.

 

[Malicia]

Another environmentally friendly method is one that just got approved in my state; it's where a body is basically rendered into compost, which can then be used to plant trees or flowers or whatever. No expensive casket, no toxic embalming fluids, no burnt propane.

I was thinking the same while reading this thread because there are facilities where a cadaver is donated and used for scientific experiments such as observing stages of decomposition in difference environments which could offset or eliminate costs after death. If it's discussed with family before they are prepared and it's helping science.

There are cultures that have ceremonies where deceased family members are dug up to take part in celebrations. While I would never question cultures and customs unfamiliar to myself out of respect for their traditions it does make me wonder about the health aspect.

 

[XCV330]

I was thinking the same while reading this thread because there are facilities where a cadaver is donated and used for scientific experiments such as observing stages of decomposition in difference environments which could offset or eliminate costs after death. If it's discussed with family before they are prepared and it's helping science.

There are cultures that have ceremonies where deceased family members are dug up to take part in celebrations. While I would never question cultures and customs unfamiliar to myself out of respect for their traditions it does make me wonder about the health aspect.

The University of Tennessee "body farm".


Don't click this is you are squeamish
https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/the-body-farm-knoxville-tennessee

 

[Malicia]

It's an interesting area of research and I'm squemish about some things like pus but I'm ok with blood and natural events like decomposition.

There was an American made medical documentary I used to watch in the 90s called The Operation and each 60 minute episode would start with the patient and consultant discussing the procedure and then show in great detail the operation followed by an update with the patient post op. The one I remember most was a girl having major spinal surgery and it showed bone fragments being taken elsewhere from her body and pasted on to her spine to fuse. Slightly off topic but mentioning it because it's on IMDB but no DVD exists and I would pay for a box set there was one.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt6658640/?ref_=ttep_ep_tt

 

[Oddish]

You can actually order a casket on Amazon if you want. They run about a grand. So, a person who was terminal could at least take care of that detail.

 

[Malicia]

The biggest costs probably come from storage and transport after you're in to the coffin. Something I really don't understand are corpses being put in different poses for photos with their family. There's grief but that is going too far and bordering on Weekend At Bernie's.

 

[Oddish]

Here's a quote I found online:

Funeral home’s basic service fee (nondeclinable) $2,195
Transporting remains to funeral home $350
Embalming $750
Preparing the body in other ways, such as makeup and hair styling $255
Facilities and staff to manage a viewing $425
Facilities and staff to manage a funeral ceremony $500
Hearse $340
Service Car $150
Basic memorial printed package $175
Metal casket $2,500
Median cost of funeral with viewing and burial $7,640

Of course, some of this could be dispensed with, or reduced. Cremation would eliminate the casket, the body prep, and maybe the hearse, but the cremation process would run 600 minimum, maybe more. I do know that you can get basic cremation, no service, pretty cheap. Not sure how low, though.

 

[Malicia]

All the same services probably break down to about the same final amount in Pound sterling and it's a family tradition for me to be buried instead of cremated but I can see it shifting in the future maybe for necessity more than being thrifty. I've never said otherwise so if I go in the night I'll be buried but not sure where. Not right to go before your mum and dad but at least you know it will be a good send off.

 

[Timby]

Funerals and memorial services are more for the surviving friends and family, to be honest. The idea is to present them with something that allows them a nice way to say goodbye. For example, my sperm donor carked it in September 2010. He had already pre-arranged for some ridiculous $10,000 casket, a super-fancy viewing at the funeral home, an expensive plot at the nearby cemetery ... sweet Jesus, I won't say how much the whole thing cost, but as the executor of the estate, I was gagging when I was seeing the invoices and writing the checks. (And I hated the bastard.)

Conversely, my father-in-law (how do you refer to an in-law when you're divorced? But I was married at the time) passed away three months later, in December 2010. Bill was a simple man of simple tastes. He was cremated and had a simple service at the UCC church where he attended Bible study every week for two decades. Afterwards, we all had a giant lunch / dinner of his favorite meal, un-stuffed cabbage--and sweet Jesus, I spent hours in the kitchen making like six crock pots' worth of it--and told stories. Months later, his widow and his daughters spread his ashes on the rural family property in Marinette County, Wisconsin, where he grew up.

That's not to say a lavish funeral is ever needed or required--my will calls for cremation and a very simple memorial service, after which I want my friends and family to get drunk, tell stories and roast the shit out of my dead ass and all the stupid shit I did in my life--but it's sometimes appropriate to think of what those closest to you might appreciate the most.

 

[Ar-Pharazon]

For my late aunt and late mother, they just wanted to be cremated, so we didn't do anything special.

We did spread mom's ashes at our Jewish step-dads grave. We're going to Hell for sure.

 

[Velocity]

My husband died suddenly last April. He left us without any insurance so my daughters chipped in to bury him. He had said he didn't want to be cremated, so we had to buy the coffin, vault, gravesite, pay the opening fee, closing fee, etc. At least the VA is paying for the bronze plaque (he was in the Air Force), but we had to pay for the granite stone base. All in all, it came to around $15,000. Crazy expensive. But funerals are for the survivors and nothing less would please our 3 kids.
But I am taking care of my "final expenses" so the kids won't be stuck like this again. I did tell them that I don't care if they want to cremate me. And I'm filing a will (which my husband neglected to have).

 

[Timby]

We did spread mom's ashes at our Jewish step-dads grave. We're going to Hell for sure.

I delivered my sperm donor's eulogy and took communion at his funeral Mass despite not having attended a Catholic Mass for fourteen years prior. After his burial, I also spat on his gravestone.

There's a luxury suite waiting for me in one of Dante's Circles of Hell, I just don't know which yet.

And I'm filing a will (which my husband neglected to have).

Yeah, the importance of this can't be overstated. I first wrote a will in January 2016, when I was 31, because an ED physician told me I should have been dead (mis-diagnosed pulmonary embolisms and deep-vein thromboses, I was a ticking time bomb). When I spent most of 2019 and 2020 in the hospital due to kidney and pancreatic disease, I not only updated my will but filed a medical power of attorney, because I wanted medical decisions to be made for me, not get tied up in courts (which also gets very expensive).

 

[Ar-Pharazon]

I delivered my sperm donor's eulogy and took communion at his funeral Mass despite not having attended a Catholic Mass for fourteen years prior. After his burial, I also spat on his gravestone.

There's a luxury suite waiting for me in one of Dante's Circles of Hell, I just don't know which yet.



Yeah, the importance of this can't be overstated. I first wrote a will in January 2016, when I was 31, because an ED physician told me I should have been dead (mis-diagnosed pulmonary embolisms and deep-vein thromboses, I was a ticking time bomb). When I spent most of 2019 and 2020 in the hospital due to kidney and pancreatic disease, I not only updated my will but filed a medical power of attorney, because I wanted medical decisions to be made for me, not get tied up in courts (which also gets very expensive).

We might end up being neighbors Skål !!!

 

[Non Sync]

Here's a quote I found online:

Funeral home’s basic service fee (nondeclinable) $2,195
Transporting remains to funeral home $350
Embalming $750
Preparing the body in other ways, such as makeup and hair styling $255
Facilities and staff to manage a viewing $425
Facilities and staff to manage a funeral ceremony $500
Hearse $340
Service Car $150
Basic memorial printed package $175
Metal casket $2,500
Median cost of funeral with viewing and burial $7,640

Of course, some of this could be dispensed with, or reduced. Cremation would eliminate the casket, the body prep, and maybe the hearse, but the cremation process would run 600 minimum, maybe more. I do know that you can get basic cremation, no service, pretty cheap. Not sure how low, though.

If you opt for no viewing and no grave side service, you can usually eliminate the embalming, makeup/hair styling, viewing/funeral ceremony, hearse/service car, printed material, and metal casket.

Costs for my father's mortuary services in 2018 were:
Basic services and facilities: $1,395
Transfer: $500
Preservation refrigeration: $225
Cremation container (cardboard casket): $58
CA Department of Consumer Affairs Fee: $8.50
10 certified copies of Death Certificate: $210
Plastic urn with wrap: $100
Adult cremation: $685
Sales tax: $12.24
Total: $3,193.74 which all by $73.38 was covered by his pre-paid plan.

I then had another $3,322.31 for the out of state cemetery burial in an existing family plot where I had to replace my mother's headstone with a joint headstone and urn vault.

 

[StarCruiser]

Another environmentally friendly method is one that just got approved in my state; it's where a body is basically rendered into compost, which can then be used to plant trees or flowers or whatever. No expensive casket, no toxic embalming fluids, no burnt propane.

And you get to bring new life after your own death...not a bad way to go.