I've Finally Seen Fant4stic (Yawn)

OK, I usually avoid actively bad films and TV shows now for the most part, but out of morbid curiosity I subjected myself to the 2015 flop, Fant4stic, the fourth dud attempt to translate the F4 team to the big screen.

And I must say that despite the strong ensemble cast and competent budget/production values, I've rarely seen a much better cure for insominia than this yawn inducing dreck. So mean spirited as well (how can we have a upbeat ending when Reed Richard's experimenting indirectly led to the horrid, unnecessary deaths of thousands?).

The MCU at times feels standardised and may die off soon enough on the big screen, the XMen movies had their ups and downs, it's now become more trendy to bash the Nolan Batman trilogy, the DCEU had to find itself (with its own triumphs and many set backs) but nothing tanks as consistently as the F4 films.

 

I watched all the F4 films for the first time last month (well, I'd seen the original a long time ago but couldn't really remember it anymore).

I was surprised to find that Fant4stic was far more boring/mediocre than it was actively awful the way people describe, and also surprised to find that the original was just as bad only in different ways yet Rise of the Silver Surfer was actually kind of decent.

 

Now watch the unreleased Roger Corman version of The Fantastic Four.

 

I have thought about giving Fan4stic a try now that it's on Disney+, but there is so much stuff on there with a better reputation that I just haven't been able to bring myself to skip over something better to watch it.

 

Really? I honestly fell asleep in the cinema watching Silver Surfer. Can barely remember anything about either of those two other than the first one ended very suddenly; like "oh crap, they started filming before we finished writing the third act, quick throw in a CG fight scene!" sudden. Well that and the vague recollection that I liked Ben Grimm orders of magnitude more than any other character. Like they could have just made it a romcom about a rock dude and a blind lady and it I wouldn't have missed anything.

Never bothered to watch Fantfourstic and honestly, nothing I've seen has convinced me it's worth giving it the chance. I mean I already watched the "Doom explodes people's heads" bit on youtube, and I gather that's the only thing worth seeing...

 

Fant4stic has (for me) one of the best examples of how to write a bad screenplay.

There's a scene early on where (I think) Sue is explaining the dimension jump, and says "We can send things there, but we can't bring anything back." ...And then just moments later she shows them some dirt that they got from the other dimension.

No one ever questions this. Not the characters, and not the director, screenwriter, or editor. Maybe the movie was as boring to watch for the creators as it was for the audience.

 

Fuck Josh Trank.

 

It's the worst kind of "bad", boring booooring bad for most of its runtime (rather than amusing, funny bad like 1994's Street Fighter).

I agree the 2000s F4 movies were not very good either, but had a better grip on the characters and had a more appropriate tone.

 

The only thing I can add to the conversation is that I refuse to refer to it as "Fant4stic"

 

Honestly, yeah. Silver Surfer still has many of the same flaws as the first one - it's nowhere near the best superhero movies ever list. But I'd compare it to, say, Ant-man and the Wasp. Nothing amazing, has some flaws, but reasonably fun overall. The super-skrull inspired sequence looks very cool. Julian McMahon was terribly cast, but at least Doom's scheme in RotSS actually felt like something Doom would do. Jessica Alba was terribly cast and it's annoying how the director keeps going back to 'oops, Sue's naked again!' but at least she has actual agency and characterization beyond 'will she stay with Reed or will she stay with Victor'. Chris Evans got a genuinely fun/nice storyline whereas in the first film he did nothing other than annoy me. It was a geuinely (moderately) fun time overall.

 

It's just so ridiculous, I just can't help but use it.

 

Where is @Ovation ?? This thread is for him - he LOOOOVES yawning!

 

Never seen Fant4stic and have no plans to ever watch it, if it comes to Disney+ here in the UK I might have to complain

 

It's not even as OK as that instalment (or near every other MCU instalment, IMO, save perhaps both 2008's Hulk). Rise Of Silver Surfer is not as shit as 2015's F4 but still shit - it has its fans and generated solid box office, but alongside its '05 predecessor they're immediately shown up as evolutionary dead ends in the superhero genre by the Batman Begins, Iron Man, and The Dark Knight triple whammy (and less extravagant and polished in production values/SFX than the similarly messy Spider-Man 3).

 

Fox doesn't actually own the rights to the Fantastuic Four, unless I missed a step...

A German outfit called Constani films bought the rights to the FF in1985 for quarter of a million dollars, so long as they make a film every seven years...

The Corman version was made to keep the rights, which pissed off Marvel because the recognized the bad faith, so they brokered a partnership between Constantin and Fox to make a good movie.

There was an extension to the deal, but eventually the Jessica Alba Fantastic Four movies were the result of that 1985 deal with Constantin.

5 possibilities.

1. Constantin stays quiet, does NOTHING and cashes their cheques.

2. Constantin threatens to take back the FF rights from Disney, in exchange for a huge payoff.

3. Constantin takes back the rights, and makes their own movie.

4. Disney buys Out Constantin's contract.

5. Disney puts a nix on all production, so that the rights return to Marvel in 2022.

 

You've got the wrong movie there, The Incredible Hulk is the 2008 movie that was part of the MCU, Hulk was the pre-MCU 2003 movie directed by Ang Lee.

 

I thought the last Fantastic Four film was half good. It started falling apart after their transformations. But that scene where Doom is making people's heads explode I thought was both awesome and chilling in its power. I still don't get the hate for the Jessica Alba Fantastic Four films. I liked them both. It took me a second viewing to get into Rise of the Silver Surfer, but still I didn't think either film was a travesty.

 

Anybody know why they have the first Fantastic Four on Disney+ but not Rise of the Silver Surfer?

 

Pay tv rights for RoTSS (in the US) are currently held by Starz.

 

The first half of the movie was less of a train wreck and had more of an identity, but still didn't grab me and plodded lifelessly along, despite the talented cast trying their best. Dr. Doom on the rampage was OK and menacing, but too little, too late.

The F4 movies with Jessica Alba in were not quite as burn the house down bad, but still semi-forgettable and didn't age well.